Monday, March 2, 2020

Turkish Star Wars!

The Man Who Saves the World (a.k.a. Turkish Star Wars! Dunyayi Kurtaran Adam) (1982)

Runtime: 91 minutes

Directed by: Cetin Inanc

Starring: Cuneyt Arkin, Aytekin Akkaya, Fusun Ucar, Huseyin Peyda, Necla Fide

From: Anit Ticaret

Things got delayed a day due to me suffering from food poisoning last night; more details on that Tuesday night. For now, I finally talk about an infamous movie:

Personally, I rate this highly in the same fashion that I gave the same to movies like Miami Connection and Samurai Cop: sheer entertainment value due to the WTF nature of what they made. I had seen this before, albeit a long, long time ago; this seemed like the best time for a revisit. To think that this movie's infamy came because the sets they built for the space scenes were accidentally ruined so the director decided to bribe a film projectionist so a print of A New Hope could be copied and used in the beginning, end, and a few times in the middle. I don't know what the explanation is for the soundtrack consisting of score from movies like Flash Gordon (which has a plot that more resembles this movie than A New Hope), Moonraker, The Black Hole, Battlestar Galactica and most blatantly of all, Raiders of the Lost Ark.

The plot is a gigantic jumbled mess, and it's not the subtitles that I can't verify are 100% accurate; apparently it was cut before release instead of the bootleg prints being sliced and diced after the fact. At least the general idea is easy enough to understand, even if it's told in a brain-melting fashion. Two space pilots end up on an alien planet, and the villain wants to use their brains for the purpose of destroying Earth. Thankfully for the planet, our heroes are a guy who looks like Ronnie Wood-to steal a line-and the alpha male known as Cuneyt Arkin, who I've previously seen in the movie I'll always know as Lionman and something that became known as Turkish Mad Max, although that is a misnomer & not the most accurate way to describe what is now referred to as Last Step to Death... it's a rather loony story about three people rescuing a doctor that discovered the cure for leukemia and features many leering shots at women who are not wearing much in the way of clothing. Anyway, another good thing is that the two know what I like to describe as TURK-FU.

The movie has its share of surprising reveals concerning the innocent victims of the planet that are being ruled by the jerk bad guys; there are monsters that appear to come straight out of Sesame Street, rock creatures, “skeletons” that are guys in black bodysuits where a white skeleton is drawn on... it is utter lunacy and for me, the sheer entertainment value of all the bonkers moments & sometimes amusing or badass dialogue moments supersede how this is technically a pretty terrible motion picture with the awful effects and overall primitive filmmaking. For certain, more gonzo movies like this from Turkey need to be viewed w/ my own eyes... Turkish Exorcist, Turkish Wizard of Oz, and all the rest.

Saturday, February 29, 2020

Isle Of The Snake People

Isle of the Snake People (La Muerte Viviente) (1971)

Runtime: 92 minutes

Directed by: Juan Ibanez/Jack Hill

Starring: Boris Karloff and a bunch of people you've never heard of before

From: Somehow, it was released in the United States by Columbia

Each March, I spend some time (although not all of the movies I view that month fit into this category) watching foreign movies due to it being a yearly tradition at Letterboxd. This one is Mexico/USA and it is rather lousy; there isn't even much in the way of snakes.

All that said, I could have started this off with a revisit of a classic or something I suspect would be ****+. Instead, I went the cheesy route, viewing something that was a special feature on the old Something Weird DVD of the 70's exploitation movie Rattlers-which I haven't watched in all that time, as that is one of my trademarks-one of the movies that Boris Karloff made in the twilight of his life w/ Mexican producer Luis Enrique Vergara where his scenes were shot separately in Los Angeles by Jack Hill and the rest were done by Juan Ibanez in Mexico. I've seen Fear Chamber before-which confusingly is sometimes known as The Snake People-and that was so bizarre I was never bored; sadly, this is no Fear Chamber.

Karloff is a mad scientist on a tropical island and the other characters include his teetotaler niece and inept French colonial A-holes-the leader of which is given a Pepe Le Pew accent by the English dubbing-who rule over the island, the setting I would guess to be the early 20th century. A Lieutenant is named Wilhelm but regrettably, neither him nor anyone else does The Wilhelm Scream. Anyhow, rituals are being done to create zombies and this is led by the masked Damballa... gee, I wonder who that could be. You think this would be exciting and there are some out-there moments involving a “little person” and an exotic lady known as Kalea (not to mention, random telekinesis)... but much to my dismay, too much of this is just dreadfully dull, a dreary slog to get through.

Fear Chamber is about a sentient rock creature that is hooked up to computers-don't ask, as the movie doesn't answer-communicates in Moog sounds and needs the adrenaline of women to survive! Between that, the over the top ways that women are scared to get them full of adrenaline and a hilarious hulking brute character named Roland, this wackiness provided plenty of amusement. Henceforth, this movie lacking in much entertainment value, scares, kills worth a damn, or a zombie tale that seemed worth telling... not even Karloff dressed like he was Colonel Sanders or having his pants pulled up all the way up to almost his nipples was something I could guffaw about, as he was in poor health by this point and much of this movie is best left forgotten.

Friday, February 28, 2020

Hardcore

Hardcore (1979)

Runtime: 108 minutes

Directed by: Paul Schrader

Starring: George C. Scott, Peter Boyle, Season Hubley, Dick Sargent, Leonard Gaines

From: Columbia

George C. Scott served up some great looks in this movie.

I've known of Hardcore for years now yet despite it sounding like something I'd consider to be my jam, Wednesday night was my first viewing of this Paul Schrader joint. Shame on me for not checking it out sooner and only knowing of its general plot and such random moments as an adult star calling himself BIG DICK BLAQUE appearing in one scene. I knew I was in good hands when I saw that John Milius was an executive producer and Jack Nitzsche did the score... and what a score it was, sometimes electronic and sometimes disco-riffic.

Scott is the patriarch of a Calvinist family in Grand Rapids, Michigan; he does well and even runs his own furniture-making business. Then disaster strikes as his daughter vanishes in Southern California while attending a religious convention and after hilariously sleazy PI Peter Boyle is unable to track her down but discovers that she is in a stag movie, George C. heads on over to trashy Los Angeles and what a change that character goes through. Religion is neither praised nor demonized; rather, it is used as a way to compare an incredibly conservative (and naive) person to the horrors of real life that he finally gets to witness after leading a sheltered life, or the dialogues he has with some of the people in the industry or other sex workers. This doesn't demonize the sex workers themselves, but it sure as hell does so for those who run the industry and takes advantage of them.

George C. Scott is fantastic in the lead role; his character goes on quite the journey where he goes through a litany of changes as he is obsessed over the search for his daughter. This is a serious drama with some serious themes and some rough or intense scenes, directed & shot well... but of course I did enjoy the tawdry nature of this harsh look into such a seedy scene. There is some dialogue that is so vulgar, it made me howl with laughter. So did the modern-at the time-clothing that Scott eventually wore to blend in; of course, late 70's clothing is pretty wild and usually has the most ferocious patterns. One scene as George C. sporting a toupee and a fake porn 'stache; it is even more astonishing than it sounds. There are also unexpected moments, such as there being a valid comparison to the Kool-Aid Man. I also have to give credit for Season Hubley's role as a prostitute; what interesting conversations she and Scott had where they compared their drastically different lives that in a way were both phony and naive, no matter the contrasting reasons.


This was a film I hoped I would dig; it was better and more engrossing than I expected. As I said, shame on me for not giving this a shot well before this week.

Tuesday, February 25, 2020

8 1/2

8 ½ (1963)

Runtime: 138 minutes

Directed by: Federico Fellini

Starring: Marcello Mastroianni, Claudia Cardinale, Anouk Aimee, Sandra Milo, Rossella Falk

From: Cineriz/Francinex

I don't ALWAYS watch sleaze & trash. There are occasions where I view cinema classics then discuss them here. As nothing was on my agenda late last night and Turner Classic Movies was playing this, it was the only logical progression from viewing Showgirls... to be less frivolous, knowing beforehand that a motion picture is going to be surreal and/or avant-garde... it gives me pause as such things I do not always enjoy. There's always the possibility of thinking it is pretentious claptrap or smug BS from someone who has their head too far up their own hindquarters. The plot about a director dealing with personal issues, it may be hard for some to sympathize w/ such problems.

Much to my relief, the story was not hard to follow or understand despite the surrealistic flourishes and the unique way the story unfurls as director Guido Anselmi struggles to complete a science fiction film with some autobiographical touches. His problems cause him to look back at his life, both good and bad; this also reveals aspect of Fellini's life as this movie has autobiographical touches of his own life. Thankfully, the movie does end up being relatable so it's not a “who gives a damn about this?” sort of plot that kept me away at at distance. The symbolism and metaphors are not too difficult to figure out, meaning this isn't an exhausting journey as you try to piece together the puzzles or get lost in a labyrinth attempting to decipher what the director is trying to say. Thus, it was clear that this movie was brutally honest, Fellini feeling free to discuss many of his faults & fears.


I dare not reveal too many details for those that haven't viewed the film before; what you see and hear should be a surprise. I will just note that Marcello Mastroianni was tremendous as the director and naturally, there is greatness in front and behind the camera, both aurally and visually. I mean, some of the dialogue and the visuals are downright legendary; for people on a site like Letterboxd, this seems to be one of those motion pictures that are required viewing.

Monday, February 24, 2020

Showgirls!

Yes, I talk about that infamous movie after seeing it for the first time in ages: 

I should have seen this while wearing some “Ver-sayce.”

For a few days there I was busy with other activities (including people I know being in town for the week, one of them a 10 month old baby) but now things should be back to normal and last night I realized there should be a real change of pace to what I've seen as of late, and why not revisit one of the most divisive movies on Letterboxd, one I had only seen once before, many (full) moons ago. Many legit love it now... if only I could feel the same way.

I am not against sleazy or tawdry tales; I've given some positive reviews to movies that fit in such a category. One that looks at what turns out to be a nightmare as someone tries to fulfill The American Dream, and in Unfortunately, this was just utterly preposterous and not believable at all; the biggest issue is that I hate Nomi and her constantly bizarre behavior. She has what I'll call Movie Bipolar Disorder; of course I have no problem with those that legit are Bipolar and my sympathies to those that do their best to manage this affliction. Nomi's behavior here is all over the place, her mood switching on a dime and I can't stand the character. Of course she did not have to be a 100% babyface for me to like her... it's just that I was never given a reason to care about that weirdo or her plight. The rest of the movie is filled with repellent or obnoxious characters and that does take away a bit from all the unintentional laughs. Writer Joe Eszterhas, there is someone that is a product of a different time and no surprise that he's hardly done anything since the 90's; believe me, with him and especially director Paul Verhoeven, there are other words of theirs I'd rather see or see again rather than this.

Still, there are plenty of laughs that I derived from this claptrap. How ludicrous the story becomes, the incredibly unsexy sex scenes, the pitiful dialogue, how nasty everyone is, dancers in petty feuds, Kyle MacLachlan's hair... no wonder this became a midnight movie favorite and even resulted in a spoof low-budget play. But there's the big problem of how there is a gross moment late in the movie, and the movie closes out with multiple scenes that bugger belief they are so divorced from reality. Elizabeth Berkley... she was good as Jessie Spano on Saved by the Bell, although I don't know what actress could have made that character more bearable for me. At least Robert Davi and (especially) Gina Gershon knew to camp it up as they realized this was cheese of the ripest sort.

I won't fault anyone who unironically-or even ironically-enjoys this trashy tale. It was quite the Hollywood risk to have a wide release of a NC-17 movie... there is something I imagine won't happen ever again in this day and age and with how risk-adverse Hollywood has become. Others can watch this together or alone as they drink their champagne... me, I might never see this again, unless perhaps it is at a theatrical screening with a crowd, as I am sure that is a gas.

Sunday, February 23, 2020

I'm For The Hippopotamus

I'm for the Hippopotamus (Io Sto Con Gli Ippopotami) (1979)

Runtime: 92 minutes

Directed by: Italo Zingarelli

Starring: Terence Hill, Bud Spencer, Joe Bugner, May Dlamini, Dawn Jurgens

From: Zadar Film/Denver Film Productions

I actually posted this review on Letterboxd 48 hours ago; I've been too busy since then to see anything or even post it here until now. Hopefully from this point there will be more normalcy for me: 

Yes, I did choose this due to its title. Amazon Prime has a number of Hill/Spencer movies available for free if you are a member; such a title (which isn't far off from the literal Italian title translation of I'm With the Hippos) stands out, along with the African setting. It's not mentioned in the movie or credits, but several sites said that it was South Africa, which I am sure was a nice shoot, the majesty of the savannah, the unique culture, being up close with many exotic animals... if only there wasn't that whole Apartheid thing...

Anyhow, the setting is a few decades before 1979; Hill and Spencer are related (but of course) and they work together, although they often disagree. They do battle against Ormand, a vile white European who is not only stealing land from villagers, he either poaches animals or sells them to zoos; indeed, the commentary against colonialism is implied. It will be easy to root for our heroes as they engage in “animal liberation” (to quote the title from a film clip that someone put on YouTube; no comment on that thorny topic) and support the natives to the point that in one scene, Spencer drives a bus through a village and stops there so people can get out and purchase items from the villagers. Our heroes run a safari but don't worry, those on the trip don't know that the guns are filled with blanks instead of real bullets.

There are cartoony moments and it is quite silly... that said, I am sure I could say this for all the Hill/Spencer joints: their charm is a big asset. There's slapstick violence aplenty and subplots such as gambling, three-card Monte and the most conspicuous jailbreak ever. Much of the movie is pretty genial; to list an example, one scene has Bud singing with a group of children-and it's his own singing voice instead of the dubbing that I otherwise expect to come out of his mouth-the ditty Grau Grau Grau; whether or not you like the tune, expect to hear the melody on several occasions.

Thursday, February 20, 2020

They Call Me Trinity

They Call Me Trinity (Lo Chiamavano Trinita) (1970)

Runtime: I saw the version that is 115 minutes long

Directed by: Enzo Barboni

Starring: Terence Hill, Bud Spencer, Farley Granger, Steffen Zacharias, Dan Sturkie

From: West Film

Defining the term “laid back film.”

Those outside the United States reading this (or at least your parents) may have their eyebrows raised when they hear this but the legendary duo of Terence Hill and Bud Spencer were never a big deal in this country; from my movie obsessions I understand they were immensely popular in Europe and were well-known in some other territories. Seeing then discussing some of their work here seems like a swell idea.

At least I knew going into this Spaghetti Western sendup that it was not only leisurely paced, but the duo-playing brothers!-had an antagonistic relationship throughout. They meet up with each other in a dusty old town where Spencer is the sheriff... because he killed the man going there who was actually going to be the new sheriff in town. Bud wants the horses that the heel of the movie (Farley Granger!) possesses, and the bad guy also wants to drive Mormons off of the area they have settled in, because he is a gigantic jerk. Stereotypical Mexican banditos also get involved.


The movie is silly and juvenile-after all, there are more fists and feet used than guns; for me that was not a negative with this story. How laid back this is... that is more of an issue than anything else but for me, the charm of the two leads go a long, long way. Plus, when there is action, it is usually a lot of fun and there are enough laughs, random odd moments (a cow on the roof of a cantina, for example) and wacky minor characters where this was a good time, even at the almost 2 hour dubbed version I found... nevermind how.