Lockout

Lockout (2012)

32% on Rotten Tomatoes (out of 75 reviews)

Runtime: 95 minutes

Directed by: James Mather, Stephen St. Leger

Starring: Guy Pearce, Maggie Grace, Vincent Regan, Joseph Gilgun

From: Europa Corp.

My apologies for this getting up late, but things happened.

Here is the movie I saw on Friday afternoon before I watched The Raid: Redemption. Thank the heavens I did not see this second, as it almost would have ruined the afternoon for me. In recent months I heard more and more about the movie and it sound interesting, even if it sounds like a real ripoff of Escape From New York. I should note that I've seen both Escape films before; Escape From L.A was pretty lame and pretty much was exactly like the first, only not good at all. The first, though, is really cool. It's not technically the best but it has a LOT of style and just the cool factor. That and the quality cast makes it a great time despite its faults. It still sucks we'll never get a third Snake Plissken film, and this movie is a laughable attempt at a Snake Plissken film Guy Pearce as Snow is no Snake.

The plot is set in 2079 and basically, the President's daughter (Grace) is at a space prison to see if everyone up there is treated humanely. The fit hits the shan and the prisoners escape their cells and she's taken hostage. Snow ends up getting wrongly arrested (through circumstances not worth discussing) and he has to go on a one man mission to rescue her. He was selected because... well, just because. As you can see, the story is not good at all, at least in my opinion.

Oh, this movie... a big problem is that most other places got the movie in what would be considered an R-rating here in the United States. Of course, they wanted it to be PG-13 here so it was edited to be that and thus a lot of the action gets ruined so you don't see headshots or what have you. Problem is, even if this was rated R, I wouldn't have liked it. As I mentioned already the story is just not there. There's no tension to anything and you really don't care what happens to anyone. Hardly any of it is engaging at all. Some moments are fine but otherwise, no. Stuff happens and that's it. Only a small amount of the one-liners are actually funny.

I knew there was trouble when you had the opening action scene and it featured some HORRIBLE special effects. I mean, it was almost as bad as what you saw in Escape From L.A., no kidding. It was so atrocious I at first thought it was done that way on purpose... then I couldn't figure out WHY you would do such a thing. No exaggeration on my part. And the final 15 minutes or so are quite incoherent at times. When I was confused for a part of the climax because it was done so poorly, that's a problem.

If you must see this, wait until DVD where you'll get an unrated version that is what most of the rest of the world saw. Also, you'll be able to use subtitles, which will come in handy. I swear that one villain's accent is so heavy I could maybe understand 20% of what he said, and nothing more. What a disappointment this was.

I'll be back Monday night.

The Raid: Redemption

The Raid: Redemption (Serbuan Muat) (2011)

86% on Rotten Tomatoes (out of 94 reviews)

Runtime: 101 minutes

Directed by: Gareth Evans

Starring: Iko Uwais, Ananda George, Joe Taslim, Doni Alamsyah

From: Pt. Merantau Films

Now, here is something I have REALLY been looking forward to for a few months now. I remember hearing about it in the fall and there was much in the way of good buzz for it. Then I saw some clips for it online and it seemed to back all the strong praise. Then came the wait for it to come to Central Florida. But it finally came on Friday the 13^th and boy did I have high expectations for this, an amazing action/martial arts film from Indonesia, of all places, and directed by a Welshman who happens to be married to an Indonesian woman.

The plot is rather simple yet effective: in Indonesia, a SWAT team in I presume Jakarta go into an apartment building in a bad part to go after a ruthless drug dealer; however, they have to deal with all of the drug dealer's henchmen. That's really the entire movie. You start off with the main focus of the SWAT team, Rama (Uwais) briefly talking to his wife and then leaving to go to the SWAT truck and they go to the apartment building. They then enter the building and all hell breaks lose. Not to spoil anything but many sons of bitches die via neck cracking, stabbings, and gunshots... on both sides.

This movie is pretty awesome due to it being almost all action, with occasional breaks to tell a story that has some twists and turns. It is filmed in a great way; it's like shaky cam but better; you can follow what's going on and it's exciting. The action itself being tremendous and something that is like Tony Jaa's Muay Thai but different (Silat, to be exact) and not something you usually see is a plus, but it's done greatly and filmed for maximum excitement, with quality editing too. The score done for the U.S. Sony Pictures Classics was also awesome; one guy from Linkin Park took part and while that band does nothing for me, the score is like what you'd expect from Carpenter in the 70's but more modern.

So, this film is something you MUST see if you dig action/martial arts; it's subtitled but I'm sure you don't mind that. I enjoyed it so much I plan on seeing it again on the big screen at least one more time, this time with a larger crowd. Also, it'll take something that knocks me on the ass to make this not be my movie of 2012, I am sure of that.

I'll be back late Saturday afternoon with a review of a new movie I saw that I didn't exactly enjoy as much as I did this.

Creature

Creature (2011)

Runtime: 93 minutes

Directed by: Fred Andrews

Starring: Mehcad Brooks, Serinda Swan, Dillon Casey, Sid Haig

From: The Bubble Factory

First off, the rest of this month is going to be rather active for me. There's a lot to see and watch in April, that is for sure. For example, I'll be back Friday night and then Saturday afternoon. Now, onto the usual review...

Here's a movie I'm surprised I didn't see on the big screen if only for historical reasons; if I would have it would have been the worst thing I ever saw theatrically, for sure. Somehow this got a 1500 screen release and it made an all-time low amount of money for that big of a release (327,000 bucks!) and it turns out, it's a good thing not too many people saw it, as it's a terrible movie.

The plot is that a group of six people are on a road trip and they end up in rural Louisiana. They find out about a local legend about a creature known as Lockjaw, a half man/half alligator creature (and boy, what a great title this film has) and they get told where they can find the critter. They oblige as they don't believe it; they are proven wrong.

Lord, this movie... what a disaster. Lockjaw isn't a CGI creation but instead a guy in a rubber suit. That's cool and all as that's how it used to be done. The costume looks pretty lame, though. The main problem is that most of those six people are quite loathsome, and as I'll explain in a spoiler-filled section, they can be pretty disgusting too. You won't want to cheer most of them on, trust me. I couldn't believe how unlikable they were. Sig Haig only appears for a few minutes. You don't get much in the way of gore at all. The lame story is so poorly told that at times I was befuddled as to what in the hell was going on. And the ending... rather unsatisfying, to say the least. To think that THIS got such a wide theatrical release when there were so many movies from recent years that deserved such attention.

The rest of this will give out some spoilers so if for some reason you actually want to watch this (you really shouldn't, no matter what; even if you think that Serinda Swan is hot-like me-that's not a good-enough reason. She's the one girl you don't see nude and the nudity you do see is not so spectacular you have to see it), then you can feel free to not read and I'll remind you I'll be back on Friday night.

Now, the spoilers. The first one involves the most unlikabe two of the six, and they happen to be brother and sister. The bro is watching Serinda Swan and her African-American boyfriend making out, so he grabs a photo camera to take some pictures (it doesn't have flash but they still turn out fine; hmmm...) and he's masturbating at the same time. If that wasn't lovely enough you then get something really gross. The sister appears and not only does she kiss him but she then gives him a handjob so that he can use both hands to take pictures! I swear this happened, as disgusting as it is, and remember they were amongst the heroes you were supposed to cheer! I still can not believe I saw that, and I have no explanation as to why they thought it was a good idea.

Second and last, Serinda and her boyfriend are the only survivors. At least it was a nice change from the norm that the black person was the one who lived instead of dying first. He kills Lockjaw... but it happens off-camera! That's right, you don't see the title monster get offed by the hero. How incompetent can you get? Now you can see why I thought this was such a waste.

American Reunion

American Reunion (2012)

44% on Rotten Tomatoes (out of 111 reviews)

Runtime: 113 minutes

Directed by: Jon Hurwitz, Hayden Schlossberg

Starring: Jason Biggs, Alyson Hannigan, Seann William Scott, Eddie Kaye Thomas, Thomas Ian Nicholas

From: Universal

As I mentioned last time, Friday night I went out and saw this opening night. I was hoping for no problems with stupid people in the auditorium but to my surprise there weren't too many people at the screening where I was at. That seems to be out of the ordinary given that it finished 2^nd at the box office with about 22 million dollars; not as much money as the other films made but it wasn't a bomb by any means.

The plot is as follows... all of the gang (yep, al of them; some of them only appear in cameos but it still counts) return to East Great Falls, Michigan for their 13^th Anniversary high school reunion; the reason why it was 13 was explained in a gag and it's a goofy reason at best but that isn't important. You get to see what the main people (i.e. mainly the guys) have done since you last got to see them. All seem to be doing at least fine at first but you then see that appearances can be deceiving. In particular, Jim and Michelle have love life troubles due to them having a child now. They end up staying at the house of his dad (Eugene Levy, as amusing as always. He gets into some adventures this time, as his wife is now deceased) and things become complicated when he discovers that his next door neighbor/girl he babysat way back when is now 18 and rather attractive.

Things are largely what you'd expect here; not too many surprises. Stifler is still a dick (to use language from the movie) but he wasn't so overbearing and obnoxious. Everyone else is largely the same as you remembered them. It was nice seeing them play those characters again and getting into vulgar adventures. It was nice nostalgia but the movie works fine on its own too. It was also amusing to see them in this generation of YouTube and whatnot, and them commenting (accurately, I say) how girls seem to dress more like tramps now and how everyone seems more selfish and self-centered in this day and age. However, besides the gross-out stuff there's also heart and the characters caring for each other. So it ends up being nice instead of mean-spirited, and as the gags all work and are funny, you should enjoy seeing everyone again. Even The Sherminator, who looks quite a bit different now.

Thus, I recommend that you see this if you generally enjoy the series... at least the theatrical movies. I don't know anyone who has any opinion on the direct to DVD movies they've done in recent years with American Pie Presents something or another. I have a feeling those in general aren't really worth seeing, even if a friend of someone I used to know had a pretty big role in one of them (long story not worth explaining).

I'll be back Wednesday night.

American Wedding

American Wedding (2003)

Runtime: 103 minutes (the unrated version, anyway)

Directed by: Jesse Dylan

Starring: Jason Biggs, Alyson Hannigan, Seann William Scott, Eddie Kaye Thomas, Thomas Ian Nicholas

From: Universal

Unfortunately, when I went to the videostore on Thursday American Pie 2 wasn't available for rental but this was. I wasn't too upset by it though as oddly enough 2 was the one that I've seen the most so I remember the majority of it pretty decently, and I say that is almost as good as the first one, with many funny and memorable moments. I also saw parts of it on TBS last weekend, which did help jog my memory.

However, when I saw this in August of '03 (I couldn't believe it was that long ago) on the big screen I didn't really like it. That's why I never watched it for a second time until just last night. And yeah, my opinion has changed:

I dislike it even more now than I did back then! I really did not remember too much of it, I came to learn.

The plot doesn't really need to be described as the title says it all and you probably know it already: Jim and Michelle get married and some (but not all) of the gang are there and thus you get mischief and wild situations, many of which are quite vulgar. Sure, some of the gags are pretty funny. But, too often the joke seems to be stretched out too thin, going on too long. And, the characters in general seem to act not quite like themselves based off of what you saw in the previous films.

But what turned me off then and what still turned me off now was how Stifler acted here. He was WAY out of control and way too unbelievable in the incredibly loud and crass way he acted. I mean, even compared to the first two movies he was over the top and acted like such a repugnant person you wondered why Jim and his buddies didn't kick The Stiffmeister's ass, as that's what I would have done due to the way he was acting. Like I said, there are some humorous moments but it's drowned out by all the things that at least for me turned me off. Then again, it seemed like the way Stifler acted was appropriate for this movie given that there are some rather gross things, even for this franchise. It seemed like the filmmakers forgot a big appeal of this series was heart and caring about the characters and instead focused mainly on being vulgar and tasteless.

There really isn't too much else to say, but at least the parents of Jim and Michelle escaped this with their dignity intact. You should expect Eugene Levy and Fred Willard to at least be fine and they were indeed that.

Thankfully, tonight I saw American Reunion (I'll be reviewing that Sunday night) and it's in the spirit of the first two. Sure, there's the gross-out and vulgarity, but there's also the heart and you caring about the characters and all that. If you enjoyed the first two you should see Reunion.

American Pie

American Pie (1999)

Runtime: 95 minutes

Directed by: Paul and Chris Weitz

Starring: Jason Biggs, Chris Klein, Thomas Ian Nichols, Shannon Elizabeth, Seann William Scott

From: Universal

Yep, I got to watch this on the big screen for the first time just earlier tonight. I first saw it on VHS, I believe, or maybe it was DVD. Either way, I am pretty sure I saw the second on the big screen (I enjoyed it) and I know I saw the third on the big screen (I didn't quite enjoy it). Sometime soon I'll watch American Reunion theatrically. Thanks to AMC Theatres I was able to finally see the first one in its true format, even if it's not the sort of film that has to be seen that way, unless you factor in the crowd thing. I went to Downtown Disney to watch the movie, and given that I saw zero mention of it anywhere on the Internet until I stumbled upon it the night before, the crowd there wasn't too bad.

You know the plot by now: Jim, Oz, Kevin, and Finch are four dudes who happen to be high school seniors and virgins and they get bothered by that fact so they decide to form a pact to get laid at their senior prom so that they could all go to college as men instead of boys. They experience complications and wacky set-pieces and also deal with the obnoxious but funny Stifler... and his mom also gets involved.

Viewing it in 2012, the movie is still funny and entertaining. Dirty humor can be timeless, you know. But the biggest thing is that you like all of the characters; you can relate and understand to them and their troubles and you hope that they all get a girl in the end; no one acts like a dumbshit just for the plot's sake and they don't do anything obnoxious that turns you off because the screenwriters were idiots. Thus you always enjoy watching the film and are glad when things turn out well and yet you can still laugh at all the comedic moments they end up in, all of which are still hilarious, from the pie to Finch going into the women's bathroom to the whole webcam deal with Nadia and Jim. The crowd tonight laughing at the funny moments was nice but I am glad I got to see it that way, as the movie still works totally well in 2012.

I'll be back on Friday night.

I'll Be Back In 24 Hours

I hate to do this again but I was going to watch American Pie tonight; then I looked online and saw that some AMC joints across the country are showing the film on the big screen Wednesday evening, including the location at Downtown Disney. I'll be checking that out and then talking about the movie; this month I'll be watching those three movies and then I'll watch American Reunion on the big screen. I'm real interested in seeing American Wedding for the first time since I saw it on the big screen and thought it was pretty crappy; maybe my opinion will change, maybe not.