Jaws 3

Jaws 3 (1983)

Runtime: 98 minutes

Directed by: Joe Alves

Starring: Dennis Quaid, Bess Armstrong, Lou Gossett, Jr., Lea Thompson, Simon MacCorkingdale

From: Universal

Remember when I stated I wouldn't view Jaws 3 and Jaws: The Revenge right away?

I lied.

Actually, it only seemed logical to change my plans due to how popular my Jaws 2 review was-and thank you everyone for all the likes it received-so I might as well get these out of the way. Jaws: The Revenge is infamous yet “boring” is a word often attached to 3, which did give me pause.

It is unfortunate that the 2-D version had to be watched; even if I had the movie on Blu-ray (which contains the 3-D version as an extra) I have no TV or Blu-ray player or special glasses that are 3-D compatible. I know there are other ways to see 3-D content streaming that isn't as ethical... I do not have the equipment for that anyhow. In the future I might and if I do see Jaws 3 that way I won't mention it here but it is certain the movie offers a cheesy good time w/ another dimension a la Friday the 13th Part 3 3-D. For certain, it was used gratuitously a la the third Friday the 13th picture. This installment of Jaws definitely does look silly in 2-D and the picture quality also suffers as a result.

This is an alternate futuristic universe; I say that as Chief Brody's sons are now both adults even though the chronology is presumably “only 5 years after the events of 2” and in this different dimension, SeaWorld's Orlando location is actually in some random Florida city located right by the Atlantic Ocean. This allows for underwater tunnels to be present that allow a Great White to enter the park. At least it's a different setting than having all the action taking place in the open seas. That doesn't mean it isn't exceedingly silly. As for Brody's sons, one of them is played by Dennis Quaid. Via Wikipedia I discovered that he used (at least I hope it's used) to have a problem w/ cocaine. This was a revelation to me, although perhaps I shouldn't be as it was the 70's and 80's. I saw a video online which states that every second he was on screen, he was coked to the gills!

The plot involves sharks in SeaWorld and for a script credited to Richard Matheson and one of the guys who wrote the original Jaws (Carl Gottlieb) the film is just goofy as hell. I am not sure if the message of “capitalism is awful” was intended or not. There are subplots of Mike Brody concerned about his prospects w/ his gal Bess Armstrong as he took a job in Venezuela, younger bro Sean has a fling with Lea Thompson (along with visiting her lagoon...) & Simon MacCorkingdale-looking like the 80's version of Aaron Eckhart-as a macho tough guy version of Jacques Cousteau but it's the action and scares that everyone cares about... neither are thrilling or scary. A major problem is that the method of creating the composite visual effects was changed at the last minute and well, to say they only look bad is me being overly kind & charitable. I hope it isn't as appalling in 3-D.

Director Joe Alves was a production designer for many years and was a second unit director for the first two movies. I don't know how much blame he should get for this not being a good motion picture. It is silly schlock which at least wasn't boring to me, although it was mainly because of the unintended laughs. As it does have to be addressed, I've never seen Blackfish and I have no idea if the documentary was slanted or is misleading propaganda promoting an agenda; it's an issue I've never looked into. My last visit to the park came many years ago but cost is a factor why rather than me taking a stand on this controversial issue. If I did visit in the future, I wouldn't say so on the Internet as I know some friends who would be pissed at me! Anyhow, Shamu does appear here and it has to be the case where some viewers in these modern times are against the film mainly due to the SeaWorld setting.

Anyhow, I'll end this on a humorous note: one of the people who gets trapped in the underwater tunnels attraction-which has never been a thing at SeaWorld Orlando-wore a t-shirt that said LET GARGOYLES SIT ON YOUR FACE. I have a number of questions but it is probably better if I don't know the context!