Runtime: 76 of the longest
minutes you'll ever endure
Directed by: Tony
Malanowski
“Starring”: A bunch of
random people who can't act
From: Little Warsaw
Productions
“This film is designed to be entertaining”... well, there's rather blatant false advertising.
A
few weeks ago I revisited an obscure early 80's horror movie titled
Curse of the Cannibal Confederates (at least when Troma put it out)
which is a lame and mostly boring picture where the titular confederates
rise up to kill a group of irritating friends, all just because one of
them stole a diary they found. Two Thousand Maniacs! this is not. The
only notable aspect is that for a few minutes the content goes from
0-100 as out of nowhere it suddenly becomes like a Fulci film and
features graphic gore.
Well, Tony Malanowski essentially created Cannibal as a Night of Horror remake. Those having seen that but not this... if you think Cannibal Confederates is bad (and it is) then... whoo boy... you will want to stay far the F away from Night of Horror. I've known of this for many years-due to a website review; this was long before even The Cinema Snob covered it-and it was only seen by me once before, on YouTube. I do know that recently some of those uploads were taken down but one still does remain, for those wanting to see this for free. I'll be frank here: that was how I viewed this again. No offense to the filmmakers, but honestly now...
There is an opening crawl which had the gall to portray the events in the movie as real... along with the inclusion of the phrase “this film is designed to be entertaining”; they failed in all regards with that promise. The movie's print is all washed-out but that's the least of its problems. It was a one camera shoot so there are long static shots, and one character will be focused on even if a scene has multiple characters and someone else is talking. The sound is terrible, making the dialogue hard to hear; perhaps that is a blessing, considering the acting is poor and there are plenty of flubbed lines that are left in instead of doing a better take. Then again, this is a production where during the process of creating the final print, there is a giant black smudge of... something on the bottom of the picture and it doesn't go away for almost 5 minutes!
The most “horrifying” aspect of this movie is how damn boring it is. There are long scenes of dialogue between characters that are impossible to give a damn about... long scenes of driving that will remind you of Manos (and THERE is something you want to be compared to!), a long scene of a woman pencil-sketching, something like 5 minutes of a Civil War reenactment battle, and an interminable conversation between the leads and the “ghosts”; just having ghosts does not a horror movie make, and all they do is ask the leads to do a task that proves to be relatively easy & simple... the end. Really. Cannibal having Confederates rise up from the dead to eat people was an invention only done for that movie.
The music is either a mediocre 70's country song or a piano riff which wouldn't be bad on its own... but becomes so if you have to hear it constantly through the movie; of course this is what Night of Horror chooses to do. Overall, this does not have the charm of Birdemic, The Room or even Manos, which at least had Torgo. Night of Horror is a mind-numbing slog where not even the idea of Malanowski sometimes using the credit of TONY STARK to hide the fact that he had multiple roles in this production (including a small part on screen) provides any amusement and this is better left not seen once, let alone twice like my foolish self did.
Well, Tony Malanowski essentially created Cannibal as a Night of Horror remake. Those having seen that but not this... if you think Cannibal Confederates is bad (and it is) then... whoo boy... you will want to stay far the F away from Night of Horror. I've known of this for many years-due to a website review; this was long before even The Cinema Snob covered it-and it was only seen by me once before, on YouTube. I do know that recently some of those uploads were taken down but one still does remain, for those wanting to see this for free. I'll be frank here: that was how I viewed this again. No offense to the filmmakers, but honestly now...
There is an opening crawl which had the gall to portray the events in the movie as real... along with the inclusion of the phrase “this film is designed to be entertaining”; they failed in all regards with that promise. The movie's print is all washed-out but that's the least of its problems. It was a one camera shoot so there are long static shots, and one character will be focused on even if a scene has multiple characters and someone else is talking. The sound is terrible, making the dialogue hard to hear; perhaps that is a blessing, considering the acting is poor and there are plenty of flubbed lines that are left in instead of doing a better take. Then again, this is a production where during the process of creating the final print, there is a giant black smudge of... something on the bottom of the picture and it doesn't go away for almost 5 minutes!
The most “horrifying” aspect of this movie is how damn boring it is. There are long scenes of dialogue between characters that are impossible to give a damn about... long scenes of driving that will remind you of Manos (and THERE is something you want to be compared to!), a long scene of a woman pencil-sketching, something like 5 minutes of a Civil War reenactment battle, and an interminable conversation between the leads and the “ghosts”; just having ghosts does not a horror movie make, and all they do is ask the leads to do a task that proves to be relatively easy & simple... the end. Really. Cannibal having Confederates rise up from the dead to eat people was an invention only done for that movie.
The music is either a mediocre 70's country song or a piano riff which wouldn't be bad on its own... but becomes so if you have to hear it constantly through the movie; of course this is what Night of Horror chooses to do. Overall, this does not have the charm of Birdemic, The Room or even Manos, which at least had Torgo. Night of Horror is a mind-numbing slog where not even the idea of Malanowski sometimes using the credit of TONY STARK to hide the fact that he had multiple roles in this production (including a small part on screen) provides any amusement and this is better left not seen once, let alone twice like my foolish self did.
No comments:
Post a Comment