Runtime: 94 wacky, wacky
minutes
Directed by: William A.
Levey
Starring: Scott Baio!
There is also the likes of Flip Wilson, Billy Barty, Maureen
McCormick, Ron Palillo, and... the film debut of Patrick Swayze!
From: Columbia/Rastar
My schedule is now more back to normal, thank goodness. In the next few days I'll talk about another cartoon here but for now, an incredible time capsule:
A.K.A. COCAINE: THE MOTION PICTURE
For a few years now I've known of this movie; unfortunately it never received any sort of official release so the one copy that was on YouTube was from who knows what source and the picture quality was decidedly not good so I was pleasantly surprised when I saw a few months ago that Sony would be releasing this from their own catalog. The disc is so bare bones that there's no trailer, but it looks far better than before and I am glad they paid all the money to have all the songs that are in this... and there are plenty of songs, many of which are famous and that had to be the hangup that prevented any prior releases.
The plot is simple: Scott Baio and friend are at the title business, the visual marvel that is a bright and colorful roller disco rink that even has an arcade area. It looks like an incredible place I wish I could visit in real life. His friend Stan is a great skater but they have never been to this joint before, so it will be a tough challenge to try and topple Ace, the head of a roller skating gang (?!) and played by PATRICK SWAYZE in this acting debut. A lot of other things go on in this insane movie, from a totally random cast (Ruth Buzzi, Flip Wilson, Billy Barty, Maureen McCormick, a bearded Ron Palillo somehow being second in command in the gang, Murray Langston, etc.) to random side characters and running gags... believe me, too much of the humor is not that funny or just plain bad. There's also The Unknown Comic, who does get some laughs. Incidentally, Wilson owns Skatetown and in a few scenes he also dresses in drag although it's not his famous Geraldine character.
I have no idea how to rate this so I guess I'll say it is pretty good as no matter the illogic of the script or how there are some pretty obvious moments of bad editing or the goofiness or the issues with the humor... the movie moves very fast as like with Thank God It's Friday it covers one night at a disco and it is never dull. You'll know right away as this starts in an astounding way: after the opening credits of people skating in Santa Monica to quite an earworm of an opening credits song (from Dave Mason, who also appears in the movie has himself and performs two songs), we enter the nightclub and we see the DJ rise up to the stage wearing an incredible sparkly outfits AND cape and we then notice he is a middle-aged mustached dude known as THE WIZARD who wears a fake bright white giant afro and... can shoot lightning out of his fingertips.
That is one of the reasons why I referenced drugs in the beginning: one of the 75 or so plots that this has deals with drugs being slipped into the place's mozzarella cheese that then went into their pizza (long story), drug use is synonymous with the disco scene and I think this movie is best appreciated if you are high! It would explain a lot, including the ending that is a blatant ripoff of a famous moment from a 50's classic. The tremendous soundtrack can be enjoyed by anyone, as long as you dig the disco music. It has Boogie Wonderland, Born to be Alive, Boogie Nights, Ain't No Stopping Us Now and other bona fide classics in the genre (mad props for the movie using the disco version of Shake Your Body Down to the Ground), John Sebastian singing about a Roller Girl he loves, and even some rock tunes from the likes of Eddie Money (RIP) and Cheap Trick.
What an amazing night it would be if you saw this, Roller Boogie, Thank God It's Friday and Xanadu in an epic marathon.
For a few years now I've known of this movie; unfortunately it never received any sort of official release so the one copy that was on YouTube was from who knows what source and the picture quality was decidedly not good so I was pleasantly surprised when I saw a few months ago that Sony would be releasing this from their own catalog. The disc is so bare bones that there's no trailer, but it looks far better than before and I am glad they paid all the money to have all the songs that are in this... and there are plenty of songs, many of which are famous and that had to be the hangup that prevented any prior releases.
The plot is simple: Scott Baio and friend are at the title business, the visual marvel that is a bright and colorful roller disco rink that even has an arcade area. It looks like an incredible place I wish I could visit in real life. His friend Stan is a great skater but they have never been to this joint before, so it will be a tough challenge to try and topple Ace, the head of a roller skating gang (?!) and played by PATRICK SWAYZE in this acting debut. A lot of other things go on in this insane movie, from a totally random cast (Ruth Buzzi, Flip Wilson, Billy Barty, Maureen McCormick, a bearded Ron Palillo somehow being second in command in the gang, Murray Langston, etc.) to random side characters and running gags... believe me, too much of the humor is not that funny or just plain bad. There's also The Unknown Comic, who does get some laughs. Incidentally, Wilson owns Skatetown and in a few scenes he also dresses in drag although it's not his famous Geraldine character.
I have no idea how to rate this so I guess I'll say it is pretty good as no matter the illogic of the script or how there are some pretty obvious moments of bad editing or the goofiness or the issues with the humor... the movie moves very fast as like with Thank God It's Friday it covers one night at a disco and it is never dull. You'll know right away as this starts in an astounding way: after the opening credits of people skating in Santa Monica to quite an earworm of an opening credits song (from Dave Mason, who also appears in the movie has himself and performs two songs), we enter the nightclub and we see the DJ rise up to the stage wearing an incredible sparkly outfits AND cape and we then notice he is a middle-aged mustached dude known as THE WIZARD who wears a fake bright white giant afro and... can shoot lightning out of his fingertips.
That is one of the reasons why I referenced drugs in the beginning: one of the 75 or so plots that this has deals with drugs being slipped into the place's mozzarella cheese that then went into their pizza (long story), drug use is synonymous with the disco scene and I think this movie is best appreciated if you are high! It would explain a lot, including the ending that is a blatant ripoff of a famous moment from a 50's classic. The tremendous soundtrack can be enjoyed by anyone, as long as you dig the disco music. It has Boogie Wonderland, Born to be Alive, Boogie Nights, Ain't No Stopping Us Now and other bona fide classics in the genre (mad props for the movie using the disco version of Shake Your Body Down to the Ground), John Sebastian singing about a Roller Girl he loves, and even some rock tunes from the likes of Eddie Money (RIP) and Cheap Trick.
What an amazing night it would be if you saw this, Roller Boogie, Thank God It's Friday and Xanadu in an epic marathon.
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