Rocky IV

Rocky IV (1985)

Runtime: 91 minutes

Directed by: Sly Stallone

Starring: The usual Rocky cast, plus Brigitte Nielsen and Dolph Lundgren... and a robot

From: United Artists

While I now know why the robot was in the film, it's still befuddling... everything revolving around it being given to Paulie as a birthday present.

If you wanted to show someone a few movies from the 1980's that stand as a monument to the decade, this would for sure have to be a selection-in late 2018 the movie is often unintentionally hilarious and it encapsulates how over the top the decade was... not to mention provide a plethora of period ditties, what the hot vehicles of the time were (such as the Lamborghini Countach), the continuing views of the Soviet Union being the enemy because of the Cold War despite America's relationship between them starting to thaw out by this time, the sometimes silly clothing and yes, robots... more on that later.

Rocky IV became like a cartoon as Rocky Balboa is now an American superhero who goes on a Soviet sojourn in order to avenge the death of Apollo Creed by Ivan Drago-now, it's great that this launched Dolph Lundgren's career and all but Dr9ago does not exactly have any depth besides being a large, muscular human being who does not say much, does then-revolutionary training techniques and oh yeah, injects steroids also. Thank goodness the Russians don't do THAT anymore... the story is incredibly rushed as there are all those damn montages and the film is only an hour and a half long. The idea of Apollo not being able to handle being out of the ring is a fine one, but that is rushed too.

Then there is that robot... recently I discovered it was a real life creation that was used and helped out Stallone's son Seargeoh, who has autism. Sly wanting to put that robot in the film is understandable... but not why the robot's role was being a birthday present for Paulie, or how (according to a deleted scene) it was Paulie who somehow took apart that machine and gave it a female voice. Those scenes are the most cartoony in a film that was over the top to the point that Rocky doesn't run up the steps of the Philadelphia Museum of Art but instead randomly climbs up a mountain. The nuance and maturity of the first two is long gone and instead you get what seems like a coke-fueled version of a boxing picture.

Yet I am not surprised this was a huge hit because it was a product of its time and such a bombastic film was perfect for people of the mid 1980's. They even loved that silly, idealistic speech from Balboa in the conclusion... as if Rocky could end The Cold War like that.

Rocky III

Rocky III (1982)

Runtime: 99 minutes

Directed by: Sly Stallone

Starring: The usual Rocky people, plus Mr. T

From: United Artists

How did I forget the one scene where Paulie suddenly becomes a bigot... or rather, shows everyone he is a bigot?

While this isn't to the extreme like what was got in IV, III is still amazingly 1980's... the presence of several iconic figures from the decade will do that, but there's a scene in an arcade and then there's the clothing, the music, Rocky in a print ad for Delorean... this is definitely from the decade of excess.

This is less serious than the first two movies yet is still pretty entertaining. Rocky Balboa is now rich and he is beating challengers... who aren't that great. The over the top Clubber Lang goads the champ into a match despite Mickey's fears over his health. Things do not go well as Balboa has become soft so it takes Apollo Creed training him via his methods for him to stand a chance in the rematch. Rocky doesn't have the eye of the tiger anymore, a statement that is stated at least a dozen times in the film.

Mr. T will never be a master thespian but he was at least memorable with the character he portrayed. The same goes for Hulk Hogan as THUNDERLIPS in that preposterous wrestler vs. boxer charity match. The main cast did swell with their roles and it was nice to see Adrian be assertive in one scene and help Rocky get over a big event in the film. Paulie will always be Paulie, I suppose... I'd be lying if I said that character's one scene where he made some racial comments was the only time that Paulie has ever thought that way-Burt Young was always memorable in that role, along with Burgess Meredith as the cantankerous Mickey.

The boxing in this franchise has never been the most realistic, yet that is fine for me as I am not a big fan of the sport anyhow. What you see is exciting and the stories of each fight is different and easy for anyone to follow. While I am sure Rocky suffered brain damage in his two Clubber Lang bouts even before he got to Ivan Drago with all the punches he took right to the skull, you're not supposed to think about what we know now as CTE... instead you can be amused at how the relationship between Rocky and Creed seems rather homoerotic by today's standards.

Rocky II

Rocky II (1979)

Runtime: 119 minutes

Directed by: Sly Stallone

Starring: The usual Rocky series regulars

From: United Artists

In this movie's universe, both Joe Spinell and the character he portrays in this series (Tony Gazzo) exist, and that is a great thing.

A few years ago I reviewed the OG Rocky film-that is a classic and it's been watched a few times by me, including once years ago on the big screen. Talk about a perfect underdog story which still inspires many people today-a poor schlub gets a once in a lifetime opportunity by getting to fight against the Heavyweight boxing champion but the actual fight is a small piece of the puzzle-the rest is Rocky Balboa rising up from the lower-class background he was resigned to for years because he did not believe in himself and dealing with a disparate cast of pals and those that doubt him, he becomes a person almost impossible to root against.

I hadn't seen any of the sequels in many years so when I realized that (at least for now) the first five films in the franchise are for FREE on Google Play and YouTube, it was an opportune time for me to finally talk about them here. In this film, Rocky retires so he can marry Adrian and start a family. However, as he's a high school dropout and isn't too good at reading, finding a regular job is difficult and he is like most people when they suddenly acquire a lot of cash for the first time, meaning it's spent foolishly. A commercial suit doesn't go well-I laughed when a chair emblazoned with “Joe Spinell” is in the background of one scene-it is great how he exists in a movie where there is a character played by Spinell. Meanwhile, Apollo Creed gets the late 70's equivalent of YouTube or Twitter comments that accuse him of either losing the fight or the whole thing being staged, so he is desperate for a rematch.

While there is a soap opera-esque subplot that takes up some time, otherwise this is an engrossing look at how the first fight changed both participants and despite their cries at the end of the bout about there being no rematch, of course there had to be one. Thankfully this was not just a retread of the original story... the main players continue their growth, including Adrian. In my review for Rocky I really should have said more about her... about how Talia Shire was great in the role and how she also changed, from a meek and mousy little girl to someone a lot more confident.


The rematch is for certain different also, as is the score from Bill Conti. Elements of it are definitely dated as being from the era of disco, but I am fine with that. This isn't wacky like III or IV and isn't a misfire like V, but II is still a solid motion picture that sure as hell is still touching for those that need a lift or some encouragement.

Gamera vs. Guiron

Gamera vs. Guiron (Gamera Tai Daiakaiju Giron) (1969)

Runtime: 82 minutes

Directed by: Noriaki Yuasa

Starring: Nobuhiro Kajima, Miyuki Akiyama, Christopher Murphy, Hiroko Kai, Reiko Kasahara

From: Daiei

What a run of weird children's films I have seen as of late: 

So, the giant knife monster can also throw out ninja stars? Why the F not?

This is actually the fifth film in the franchise but as it was the one I remembered the most due to sheer weirdness. After all, the plot is that a young Japanese boy and his American friend (OF COURSE it was the Japanese boy who was wearing the tiny shorts) end up on a spaceship controlled by two women on another planet, one you may call the Howard Johnson planet. Once arriving, the women (one of them named Barbella... no, not Barbarella, as the movie makes sure to clarify) first act friendly but they then try to EAT THE BRAINS of the children before taking over Earth and Gamera-by then a longtime hero of the children-has to save them while also doing battle with Guiron, a quadruped monster who has a knife for a head.

The series was deep into the era of being childish so there are plenty of goofy moments, the peak being Gamera at one point swinging on what was in essence a gymnastics high bar, but there also was Guiron doing battle with a doppelganger of Gyaos, the villain creature of the third movie. Guiron literally slices up Gyaos-including decapitation-which did put Knife Head over.

People will remember this best for the goofy dubbed version that was used for a season 3 episode of Mystery Science Theater 3000... that dubbed version is for free at various locations, but so is the proper subtitled version. At least this zany motion picture has a modicum of entertainment.

Mac And Me

Mac and Me (1988)

Runtime: 95 minutes

Directed by: Stewart Raffill

Starring: Christine Ebersole, Jonathan Ward, Tina Caspary, Lauren Stanley, Jade Calegory

From: Orion

Would you believe both this and The Garbage Pail Kids Movie played on TCM Underground this past Friday night? I saw TGPKM and as I've already reviewed that and I still think it's laughably bad... but I hadn't seen Mac and Me in many, many years:

This motion picture features a score that sometimes sounds exactly like the music from Predator.

I had actually seen this damn movie before, in what had to be the early 90's. My memories were real hazy so this might as well have been a first time watch for me. Finally, I can say that after all these years... Lord did this ever rip off E.T. The template for that movie was followed real closely, down to how the aliens are brown-colored creatures. Unfortunately for Mac and Me, they created some ugy-ass and frightening aliens... I suppose you could say that Mac was sometimes sort of cute, but those things in adult form is nightmare fuel.

Yet I can't say this is unwatchably bad. Personally I am not a fan of the trope this uses (the “disbelieving authority figure” trope) but that's just me. There are plenty of moments that are hilarious in retrospect, such as the lead rolling off a cliff into a lake or all the 80's hair & clothing. The most infamous aspect is the rampant product placement... the inexplicable dance scene in McDonald's (complete with Ronald McDonald) is what everyone cites there but Skittles and-especially-Coca-Cola is more prominent in the film.

Another aspect that provided me much mirth is how Alan Silvestri's score sometimes is a carbon copy of the score he created for Predator. Personally, the creatures here are scarier than the Predator! Also, what an outrageous finale for a PG-rated kids film... the 1980's were truly different back then. And to think the Japanese version of the film (this news broke a few months ago) explicitly shows a pivotal moment that is definitely not OK for a family picture today. I am not surprised a film so odd has a cult following, or that due to the likes of Paul Rudd there have been multiple meme moments.

One last thing: I do have to give this credit for having a lead character in a wheelchair and he was played by an actual disabled actor... representation and all that.

Gamera

Gamera (1965)

Runtime: 78 minutes

Directed by: Noriaki Yuasa

Starring: Eiji Funakoshi, Harumi Kiritachi, Junichiro Yamashiko, Yoshiro Uchida, Michiko Sugata

From: Daiei Studios

What a blast from the past this was for me: 

This universe was strangely not incredulous of the news that there suddenly is a 60 meter tall FLYING bipedal fire-breathing turtle roaming around.

As a kid I actually saw this film and the first few sequels on VHS; they were videostore rentals. A few years ago I purchased for real cheap the entire 11 movie franchise on DVD. Sure, it's from the not so revered Mill Creek but at least they are all in widescreen and are subtitled prints. Soon after purchase that set got misplaced; just last night I finally found it again so in the future I'll make my way through the set. The sequels quickly became silly and juvenile, but the original was more serious... although the inspiration for this initial kaiju flick was blatantly obvious.

In fact, you could argue this was a ripoff of Gojira, from how the monster is let loose due to nuclear weapons to how it breathes fire... stomps around miniature sets and scientists have to figure out a unique solution to eradicating it because electricity and military weapons do not work against it. In Gamera's case the theme that was stressed was not Japanese guilt over World War II but instead the Cold War so naturally Japan wishes those two sides would get along. This does have something that the original Godzilla doesn't: an annoying little boy who thinks the kaiju is his pal. This goofball is named Toshiro and he is pretty much the “I Like Turtles!” meme kid but thankfully for me he was not such an irritant that he ruined the movie... even if he does some dumb S. Other things like the movie at times spinning its wheels and killing time was a bigger issue for me.

This is lesser than the 1954 Godzilla in just about every facet, but that does not mean this is a bad movie. There is the expected kaiju action and as wacky as a 60 meter tall flying bipedal fire-breathing turtle is, from memory this is far more serious than the juvenile sequels that were to follow.

Birdemic: Shock And Terror!

Birdemic: Shock and Terror (2010)

Runtime: 93 minutes

“Directed” by: James Nguyen

“Starring”: Alan Bagh, Whitney Moore, Janae Caster, Colton Osborne, Adam Sessa

From: Moviehead Pictures

Yep, I finally got around to this, and it rep is not undeserved: 

What a perfect movie to talk about on (American) Thanksgiving, this gigantic cinematic turkey. Its toxic reputation is well-deserved and the two dollar special effects that are worthy of lulz is not the only reason this is so loathed.

The overall message of being pro-environment and humanity's pollution F'ing up the Earth is always a good one, but it's hidden in this atrocious piece of crap. The first half of the movie is two goofballs (Rod and Nathalie) meeting cute and falling in love; both are improbably successful... she gets a Victoria's Secret gig and he makes millions of dollars from an improbable sale of the low-rent company he works for to Oracle. That first half just about put me to sleep, and you only see the birds once. The second half, their constant attacks never stop being a knee-slapper due to how awful the effects look.

Everything about this movie aside from its message is wrong: the acting, overall direction, editing, sound mixing (there is often silence or the audio just goes quiet between characters talking to each other in a conversation), logic, the film's timeline, pacing, continuity... it really is as amazingly putrid as you've heard. Not to spout out a hoary cliché but the movie is better seen than described, as how inept the entire production is cannot be fully conveyed with only words, as the right words have not been yet invented to properly describe this experience.

There is a lot to laugh at with this film, although I'll say The Room is funnier and more baffling as an all-time bad movie experience. That said, I won't spoil most of the best bits, but I will bring up the LOL statement of Rod's Ford Mustang being “a plug-in hybrid”, as the iconic sports car has never been close to being a hybrid. There is also the brass balls move of the movie advertising and crediting Tippi Hedren as having a role when all it is... it's a few seconds of stock footage from some film that is on a TV in the middle of one scene.

I have seen the trailer for its sequel, and it appears to be what typically happens with motion pictures like this: the filmmakers are now in on the joke and thus them being terrible on purpose just won't be as entertaining or fun.

Mean Streets

Mean Streets (1973)

Runtime: 110 minutes

Directed by: Scorsese, of course

Starring: Harvey Keitel, Robert DeNiro, David Proval, Amy Robinson, Richard Romanus

From: Warner Bros.

Yesterday I saw a pair of films... the first was a revisit of the average movie known as Red Sky; yeah, it was one of the Rachael Leigh Cook joints I've seen before. At least she got a free trip to St. Petersburg, Russia out of the whole deal. The second was this: 

There should be more poolroom brawls set to Please Mr. Postman.

I had only seen this once, before I started reviewing movies online... it had to be at least a decade ago. Thus, I figured I need to talk about more Scorsese here anyhow and it playing on TCM last night meant that this was the right time, right place for me. That initial movie I more liked the movie than loved it and alas, this opinion has not changed the second go-around.

The general idea is fine of following around a young man (Keitel) who has a loan shark uncle yet due to Catholic guilt-this already became a Scorsese trademark-is unsure if he wants to follow in his family footsteps. Meanwhile, he has a loose cannon friend (DeNiro) who causes problems and he has a girlfriend who is ostracized because she has epilepsy. If only I could have cared more about the story or the characters...

I can still say that this is good and that is nothing to sneeze at. This is clearly a low-budget effort, pretty gritty with naturalistic lighting (some scenes are bathed in red and it makes for a great image) and intimate camerawork. Even back then Scorsese knew how to create a quality soundtrack-there are some old Italian songs and-shock of shocks-The Rolling Stones but otherwise it's old R&B, including the original version of Please Mr. Postman by The Marvelettes that is heard during a rough and tumble donnybrook in a pool hall; what a juxtaposition that was.

Of course its biggest asset aside from having a director that would later become a legend is the two leads who are great actors and one became a legend himself. That for certain helped me watch this even if I don't love Mean Streets like many do.

Wheels On Meals

Wheels on Meals (Kuai Can Che) (1984

Runtime: 104 minutes

Directed by: Sammo Hung

Starring: Jackie Chan, Biao Yuen, Sammo Hung, Lola Forner, Benny "The Jet" Urquidez

From: Golden Harvest

Really, it has been too long since I've watched any Jackie Chan:

You know, Jackie Chan and Biao Yuen were ahead of the curve with the whole food truck phenomenon.

It came a few weeks later but I am finally tipping my cap to the late Raymond Chow by watching something from the Golden Harvest studio. They proved to be a viable competitor to Shaw Brothers and launched the careers of legends like Bruce Lee, Jackie Chan and Sammo Hung... not to mention being involved with the Cannonball Run movies and the first Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles film. This is one of the more famous efforts involving both Chan and Hung... and has a fight that is still legendary today.

The setting of Spain is different for one of these movies and provides a unique flavor. Chan and Yuen are cousins who operate a food truck, proving they were years ahead of their time; plus, it was a sweet yellow Mitsubishi van. They run into a pickpocket named Sylvia and are smitten with her... understandable to me as she was former Miss Spain Lola Forner and is a very attractive woman. People are after her and not just because she's a pickpocket. Meanwhile, Sammo Hung is a sleuth (hilariously named MOBY) who is hired by a mysterious Englishman to look for someone. Needless to say, these plots intersect.

At times this is goofy and this does not have the most accurate portrayal of mental illness you'll ever see... that said, this is a very good martial arts movie. There are plenty of laughs along the way (including some bits straight out of The Three Stooges) and the first half of the film only has a little action-instead the story and characters are set up. The second half has plenty of memorable action beats, and the finale in the castle is tremendous, even if it ends abruptly. Chan's fight with pro karate fighter Benny “The Jet” Urquidez is still cited among the best martial arts battles ever captured in a film, and for good reason. Yuen also has a memorable fight with Keith Vitali and even Hung has a cool fencing duel.

The version that is for free on Prime is dubbed and I laughed at how the voices used sound nothing like the actual actors; I was at least charmed by it and this is a must-see for all martial arts fans.

Modern Problems

Modern Problems (1981)

Runtime: 93 minutes

Directed by: Ken Shapiro

Starring: Chevy Chase, Patti D'Arbanville, Mary Kay Place, Brian Doyle-Murray, Dabney Coleman

From: 20^th Century Fox

Boy, does this have some problems that are modern now more than they were in '81:

You know, I am sure that in real life Chevy Chase snorted some of the “demon powder”! I don't mean to make any libelous statements and any book about the history of Saturday Night Live has not been read by me, but as he was an original cast member, I will just presume he used plenty of drugs at the time.

As for “demon powder” in context of this film, the most famous moment of Modern Problems was in the finale when Nell Carter (her character is from Haiti so OF COURSE she knows voodoo) tries to perform a ritual on Chase in order to banish his newfound telekinetic powers, which includes spreading white powder around his bed. In response, Chevy speaks like Donald Duck and snorts it up like someone in the original season of SNL would inhale some cocaine! As for the overall plot: Chase is a schlub who works at as an air traffic controller, drives a crappy Lancia Beta-soon after this movie came out Lancia left the United States-and he has nuclear waste from a tanker truck spill on him... don't ask. Chevy uses these powers to try and win back his girlfriend (Patti D'Arbanville). Of course, he lost her because he was the possessive type and somehow, that doesn't seem quite as charming or amusing in late 2018...

Chase's character does come off as a jerk and well, at least that's a not a stretch for him. For me, the other main players are more enjoyable, whether it's D'Arbanville, Brian Doyle-Murray as a Vietnam vet who is like Lt. Dan and is in a wheelchair or Mary Kay Place as Chase's ex-wife or Carter or the true highlight, Dabney Coleman playing a truly Dabney Coleman 80's character: a successful person who is an arrogant A-hole... he could do that SO well and did so, in plenty of movies. For me they were more enjoyable than a lead character where you wonder just why exactly the lead girl is still in love with him, especially after he shows everyone his powers. Maybe she enjoyed the sight of Chase in tiny basketball shorts... we get TWO scenes of that, while only one of Coleman's bare ass.

Naturally there are sight gags in a film like this and there is also physical humor and some amusing one-liners. Enough of it at least made me chuckle where I can say this was OK. In addition, I was relieved the scene set in a “gay nightclub” where most of the guys wear leather... that it wasn't as grossly offensive as it could have been.

Billy Jack

Billy Jack (1971)

Runtime: 114 minutes

Directed by: Tom Laughlin

Starring: Tom Laughlin, Delores Taylor, Clark Howat, Victor Izay, Julie Webb

From: National Student Film Corporation

Now I am caught up with everything I've seen lately and have not talked about here before. What an improbable success this movie was, at least if you look at it from a modern perspective: 

You know, Tom Laughlin was the Steven Seagal of his day. I am not talking about all the controversy surrounding Seagal and how he is now buddies with Putin and or how it's now pretty clear he has sexually harassed many different women for a number of years. Rather, I am talking about how both were white dudes who felt a kinship with Native Americans, showed off a particular martial art that was unique to film at the time, loved the environment, and had a pacifist approach even though their characters kicked a lot of ass and yeah, people would get killed.

Here is an article by Nathan Rabin where he talks about the first three movies involving the Billy Jack character and how weird it all is while viewed through a modern lens. I'll copy and paste part of it in order to describe all the different elements of this film that are smushed together:

“It’s most logical to conceive of Billy Jack as a dream-movie accidentally created by a spiritually confused, LSD-addled 19-year-old who fell asleep in the early 1970s while watching a weird, humorless movie about a half-Native American/half-Caucasian warrior who does not want to fight, because he’s too good—both in the sense of being a singularly skilled one-man killing machine, and in subscribing to a higher moral and ideological cause than his bloodthirsty brothers-in-arms. And yet he’s pushed by circumstances into dramatically kicking ass, over and over. 

Said 19-year-old would drift off early on and awake to find himself watching a town-hall meeting where the generational divide is being loudly debated by staid figures of the establishment and agitated, weirdly wholesome hippie types. After more dosing, the 19-year-old is watching a young Howard Hesseman illustrate beginner improvisation techniques and the philosophy of provocative street theater to someone on a local talk show. The next awakening finds the TV devoted to an earnest blonde moppet stridently singing an anti-war song, and then a song about a “Rainbow Made Of Children” in a voice quivering with righteous indignation.

The 19-year-old decides to go outside and attempt to purge the confusing jumble of images and messages from his head, but first, he catches intriguing, perplexing flashes of two more television programs—one a PBS documentary on alternative forms of schooling, and the other on Native American spirituality. It’s understandable why he’s confused: It’s not as if vigilante crime movies naturally segue into demonstrations of improvisational comedy technique and then into rage-filled acoustic musical interludes. Yet Billy Jack contains all of the above.”

The general plot is that Billy Jack lives on a Native American reservation which houses an “alternative” school where people of all types live at... really, it's a hippie hangout. The locals of the nearby town do not appreciate those “long-haired weirdos” so they face constant harassment, including from law enforcement. They try to make peace (which results in by far the worst part of the movie, which is all the time spent on the youths and the townspeople doing improv with each other... Lord was that interminable) but it doesn't work out.

This is a sanitized, idealized version of what a hippie commune would be (no drugs or sex!) yet I am not surprised that a young movie-going audience would love a character who dug nature, was a pacifist & supported a hippie way of life. In late 2018, this film is a mess, but I am sure it was a “right place, right time” scenario for this becoming such a hit, and what an unusual path it took: the studio changed from AIP to 20th Century Fox to Warner Bros., whom released it in '71 and it made some money... only for Laughlin to sue in order to release it himself as he wanted to do the then-strange method of giving this a wide release. He won and in '73 this made a LOT of money when he put it out again independently. I suppose we have him to thank-or blame-for wide releases now becoming the way to put out most movies.

I won't rip on the acting, even though sometimes it isn't too good; the same goes for the overall filmmaking. Poor Delores Taylor-Laughlin's wife-was not originally going to be the female lead but the lead girl from The Born Losers was supposed to return, only to drop out. Taylor reluctantly did it even though she had never acted before, and she had to do some heavy dramatic scenes. I just discovered she had Alzheimer's for years and passed away this past spring.

As I have the two sequels to this on disc I will have to watch them another day; after the insanity of this movie, I probably did need a break from seeing The Trial of Billy Jack, which I understand is even more self-indulgent and pure unfiltered Laughlin... you probably would already think “self-indulgence” once I inform you that motion picture is almost THREE hours long. Anyhow, what a time capsule this turned out to be.

All The President's Men

All the President's Men (1976)

Runtime: 138 minutes

Directed by: Alan J. Pakula

Starring: Robert Redford, Dustin Hoffman, 

From: Warner Bros.

I explain why I saw this movie below... if you don't realize who wrote the screenplay: 

Yesterday's death of legendary screenwriter William Goldman received a surprising-but thankfully-strong reaction from the online community due to the number of classic films he wrote; I also saw elsewhere that he offered help for a number of films over the years-the example I saw was that he convinced Demme to remove a scene from The Silence of the Lambs, and that resulted in the incredible fake-out scene during the final act. While Goldman was ultimately unhappy with director Alan J. Pakula's constant calls for rewrites, his adapting the book of the same name from Bob Woodward and Carl Bernstein was one of his most famous-and best-jobs as a writer of screenplays.

This is a straightforward investigative story where the two Washington Post newspaper reporters investigate the case of an attempted burglary at the Democratic National Committee headquarters, which were located in the Watergate complex in Washington, D.C. They quickly realize something very fishy is going on; there are plenty of sources online that explain the whole mess far better than I can without me writing a thesis about it, but in short it was connected to Richard Nixon and his campaign for him to earn a second term as President of the United States; how ironic that the committee was known as the Committee to Re-Elect the President and they were actually known as CREEP. Anyhow, the end result was that Nixon resigned as President and ever since then, Americans have been more wary of the federal government.

Presumably most if not all the film was accurate to what actually happened; I know the basics were definitely correct; for me, I was always compelled by this story of Woodward and Bernstein working the story by jotting down notes, attempting to do interviews, working the phones, etc. It is such an unbelievable story the conspiracy for a President to commit all those illegal acts in order to ensure he would win a Presidential election, at least for a nerd like me I'll be greatly interested in seeing what happened. The production is of a very high quality; in addition, it's a treat seeing Robert Redford and Dustin Hoffman act separately in various motion pictures-getting to see them together as the leads was tremendous. The cast was full of famous faces (including Hal Holbrook as Deep Throat, only revealed decades later as Mark Felt) but the two leads were the standouts.

What happened with Watergate was a complex deal, as you'll discover if you look into it. Yet Goldman's script managed to make the story easy enough to follow where you are never lost as all the different pieces of that machine were shown. Those that enjoyed The Post definitely should check this out; Katharine Graham is name-dropped in one scene but Ben Bradlee (as played by Tom Hanks in that film, Jason Robards here) is a key supporting character in President's Men as the executive editor of the Washington Post. What a few years Bradlee had between being involved in that battle to make public The Pentagon Papers and defending two of his reporters and their shocking story of corruption at the highest level.

Oh, and if you loved Spotlight then you should check this out too as they share many similarities.

Born Losers

Born Losers (1967)

Runtime: 113 minutes

Directed by: Tom Laughlin

Starring: Tom Loughlin, Elizabeth James, Jeremy Slate, William Wellman Jr., Jack Starrett

From: AIP

Monday night I revisited Scream 4; I am still meh on that movie. I was also meh on this film, and I explain why below: 

If a girl isn't scared by seeing bikers sporting swastikas, perhaps they should be once they see a quote from HEINRICH HIMMLER on the wall of their hangout.

Tonight, TCM is showing all four of the Billy Jack movies. As I have those films on disc-I bought the set a few years ago but as I am me, I hadn't watched them yet-I figured it'd be easier to get this one out of the way while I had the opportunity to. I'll say more about the late Tom Laughlin as I talk about the other films, but I know that those films were pretty popular in the day. I mean, when it was announced in late 2013 that he had passed away, my parents talked to each other about it-they both immediately remembered who he was even though he vanished from the spotlight back before I was even born in the early 80's.

The plot: this is a biker film, a genre that was for certain in vogue at the time. They are the heels of this picture... in fact, they do a lot to make them pretty despicable. Besides being what would be known now as the “Alt-Right”, they cause a lot of mayhem, including sexual harassment and then harassing the victims & their families so they won't testify against the perps in trial. Standing against them is Billy Jack, a half Native American who was a Green Beret and is a loner who loves nature, knows Hapkido and has been involved with the rodeo before. No surprise that a character who did not trust banks would be liked by “the youth” and the counter-culture types. Anyhow, he protects one of the girls who was assaulted.

You'd suspect that Billy Jack would kick a lot of ass and whip all those Nazi bastards. Not exactly... Jack only uses his martial arts briefly and it's more about him getting his ass kicked. For all the buildup and all the atrocious things the bikers did, their comeuppance did feel like a letdown of sorts. Plus, this movie has some moments that I'll charitably call “questionable” and they were gross and I did not get much enjoyment out of their turns.

Now, the bikers were so over the top evil that I occasionally laughed at them and Billy Jack still had his badass moments so I can say that this was OK. But I am sure that an unfiltered Billy Jack with all of his idiosyncrasies (which is what made the character a hit in the 70's) will be on display in the other films and that will be more of a good time for me than this silly exploitation fare... where the Billy Jack character was literally dropped in so Laughlin could try and get his foot in the door and make the films he wanted to with that heroic persona.

Overlord

Overlord (2018)

80% on Rotten Tomatoes (out of 122 reviews)

Runtime: 109 minutes

Directed by: Julius Avery

Starring: Jovan Adepo, Wyatt Russell (no relation), Mathilde Ollivier, Pilou Asbaek, John Magaro

From: Paramount

The past few days I did revisit some flicks; at home I saw Bullitt again, which is still very good. Last night before watching this I got to experience Die Hard on the big screen again, which is always tremendous. As for Overlord, it was a B-movie good time: 

What a motion picture to see on Veterans Day.

The AC/DC-blaring trailer for this film was something witnessed by me quite often as I went to the cineplex the last few months; as it was a rare effective modern trailer-albeit one which makes it seem more like a horror film than it actually is-I was intrigued by what looked to be just like a B movie of old. Well, it WAS like a B movie of old, a slice of exploitation (Naziploitation, to be exact) where the villains do vile experiments and the heroes have to stop them. This is in the midst of an otherwise standard World War II tale where a troop has to sneak behind enemy lines and take out a radio tower-in a church, because Nazis are A-holes... that is a summary of why a character in the film explains the setting-before the D-Day invasion can begin.

Of course this is preposterous and at times the characters can do some pretty stupid things. I imagine the target audience won't care too much as it does deliver on the thrills they expect. There are detestable bad guys, stock character heroes (including a young lady who in these films either help the resistance or already are a part of it, along with a leader who barks orders, in this case played by Wyatt Russell-no relation), humorous situations, and plenty of bloody violence-at times things get gruesome. Plus, many Nazi bastards are blown away and especially in the modern American climate, that is always something to get excited about. There are nice practical effects and memorable action scenes, especially the opener... seeing this at a Dolby Cinema means that this was one of those films where the seats shake; now, it doesn't toss you around like a D-Box or 4DX seat... instead it just vibrates. The movie starts off explosively so the seats will rumble almost nonstop for a few minutes.

This manages to work both as horror and a war picture; those that enjoy the latter should like how a small ragtag group of soldiers have to face what seems like insurmountable odds in order to help the greater good. This may not be lighting up the box office like a retro flamethrower but maybe in the future this genre effort will find more of an audience.

Land Of The Free

Land of the Free (1998)

Runtime: 99 minutes

Directed by: Jerry Jameson

Starring: Jeff Speakman, William Shatner, Lisa Darr, Larry Cedar, Chris Lemmon

From: PM Entertainment Group

What a silly movie I saw on Friday night: 

Any movie featuring Jeff Speakman, William Shatner, Mac from Night Court, Chris Lemmon and Don Stroud will be watched by me. This is a late entry from PM Entertainment Group, a 90's low budget action outlet that for certain made movies better than this; their scripts were always on the flimsy side but they knew what their audiences want so there was plenty of good action, explosions, and car crashes.. oh, do cars get wrecked in a typical PM production. In the future I'll talk about their better films as a way of plugging them to those that'd be interested in something new and worthy of a spin.

As for this movie, Jeff Speakman is the lead, a campaign manager for a rich dude (William Shatner!) who is an outsider in politics but is in a political race for the opportunity to go to Washington, D.C. I don't mean to interject real life here, but Shatner's character is a rich outsider who is a right-winger, has a fervent fanbase, appeals to those who feel neglected by “normal” politicians and his campaign all but uses the phrases “Drain the Swamp” and “Make America Great Again”... guess who I thought of while watching this film? 45 PROBABLY doesn't give part of his wealth to militias who plan on overthrowing the American government, but it's just a guess. By the way, they don't even try to explain just how this overthrow will happen or how the American military factors into the equation.

Anyway, Speakman discovers this secret and he is now on The Shat's shat list. What follows is Jeff's Kenpo Karate, shootouts and plenty of car crashes. Technically, the movie is not that good, to say the least-the plot shouldn't scrutinized too closely, some moments are highly implausible and I noticed a handful of film flubs. Yet I doubt the target audience will care as instead they'll be focused on such things as the action, the scene with gratuitous female nudity, and Mac from Night Court being The Shat's main henchman. Speakman and Shatner do face off in the finale and at least for me it was as astounding as I hoped it would be. At least for my at times easy tastes, this was enough action and laughs-even if they were unintentional-for me to say this was OK.

Oh, and besides the people I already mentioned, this cast has Rance Howard in a bit part, along with Bernie Kopell. All those actors I am not too surprised are in this, but how did this movie get ARTHUR HILLER to show up for a minute? Did he owe the producers a favor?

Lone Wolf And Cub: Baby Cart To Hades

Lone Wolf and Cub: Baby Cart to Hades (Kozure Ogami: Shinikazeni Mukau Ubaguruma) (1972)

Runtime: 89 minutes

Directed by: Kenji Misumi

Starring: Tomisaburo Wakayama, Go Kato, Yuko Hama, Isao Yamagata, Michitaro Mizushima

From: Toho

Now this is more my style: 

You know, Daigoro has seen some F'ed up S by now... that is the toddler son of Ogami Itto, the hero of these films. Baby Cart to Hades especially stressed this by often cutting to the type right after his dad unleashes bloody carnage. The first two acts don't have too much violence but that is fine as not only is there a story being told, but the final act has plenty of bloodletting, blood spraying out of bodies and other niceties people come to expect from these films.

Both honor and being a true samurai are the strongest themes in this picture as they are stressed often. The opening act has a bit where three mercenaries act like Harvey Weinstein to a mother and daughter; how The Lone Wolf handles that and another assault done by another Hollywood executive type does go a long way to explaining that Itto is not just a skilled samurai who is also a badass, but he has a code he lives by and he is willing to go a long way to protect someone for the sake of what he feels is right. For certain this makes him even more likable.

From there the main plot starts, and I won't spoil that or some of the characters you encounter along the way but not even someone who is skilled at shooting pistols can stop our hero. The first two acts are never boring despite the focus on the story as it was an interesting yarn that was spun and it also prepared us for all those that did battle with Ogami Itto. Mix in some pretty Japanese scenery & a cool score and while this is not quite like the first two films, it does not mean that this is less worthy of viewing for those that dig the first two films.

Suspiria (Unfortunately, The "Reimagining")

I don't even want to do my customary intro where I say a few words and list some basic information about the movie... unlike what many "film fans" are saying, I found this to be pretentious horses****! What a long, long 2 1/2 hours this was. I'll attempt to explain below why I violently rejected this: 

Am I really surprised I would loathe a film which brags about having “six acts and an epilogue”? Pretentious claptrap is one of the nice phrases I can use to describe why this did not work for me at all. For transparency's sake, when I first heard there was going to be a remake of the Argento classic, I groaned... then the realization came that the original definitely has its flaws (the focus on the visuals and music does come at the expense of storytelling and a logical plot... and I still give that film high marks) and with the talent involved perhaps this would be worthwhile.

Well... this only using the basic plot synopsis of the original and doing other things with it was not something I was immediately against. What they came up with for this movie, though: ostentatious tripe. I am not quite sure what the purpose was of the added material and new characters... all the time spent on Tilda Swinton as an old man the chief example there; what was the point of that character and his backstory? Also, this movie was too obtuse and had its head up its own ass to explain why in several scenes there were radio and television broadcasts heard and seen which talked about the Red Army Faction (i.e. the Baader-Meinhof Gang) and the hijacking of Lufthansa Flight 181. Wikipedia can tell you all about that group and their actions but why was it mentioned in this film a few times? All it did was make me want to do some research about them at home and watch other films, such as The Baader-Meinhof Complex and the 1978 German film Germany in Autumn.

Then there are the gruesome moments in the film... I could write a lot about that overblown, goofy finale but I won't. Instead, I'll mention that those gruesome moments became downright laughable as they lasted WAY too long to the point I had to stifle a chuckle or two; way to ruin some scary images. Furthermore, there are a few “shock” moments of dialogue and all they served to do was take me out of the movie as they were so goofy; I presume the audience wasn't supposed to chuckle but they certainly did. No wonder some of them left before this nonsense was even halfway over with.

A rating this low is admittedly unfair when the cast did the best they could, some of the score was good (even if it didn't always seem to fit the movie... also, you want to talk about pretentious, Radiohead...) and the interpretative dancing appeared to be well-executed. I did not even decide on this scathing score until I witnessed that preposterous finale and then we got the epilogue that just kept---on---going. There were at least six times the movie appeared to be ending-and I couldn't wait for this to be put out of its misery-but it just kept on going and going, showing us crap I could not possibly care about as I was never given a reason to care about the events in the epilogue.

My opinion of this Suspiria “reimagining” will be downright blasphemous to most that have already seen this; I am willing to take the heat here and be honest in stating how this did not work for me at all.

The Flying Ace

The Flying Ace (1926)

Runtime: 65 minutes

Directed by: Richard E. Norman

Starring: Laurence Criner, Kathryn Boyd, Boise De Legge, Harold Platts, Lions Daniels

From: Norman Film Manufacturing Company

What a curio I saw last night: 

For a long while now I have in my Netflix queue what is treated as episodes of a TV show but are actually movies and shorts that are part of the Kino Lorber release “Pioneers of African American Cinema”. These are from the silent days to the 1940's. I decided to go with this one as the plot sounded interesting.

That plot: this is right after World War I as a successful fighter pilot (William) returns to his old job as a railroad detective; he has to try and figure out who robbed a lot of cash... specifically, it is payroll which was pilfered. It's not a mystery to the audience as in the opening minutes we see the men who scheme to get rich and fast. William has an associate; he is known as Peg and well, he has an amputated leg. I did not plan it out this way but this was my second film in a row where a minor character is missing that appendage. Peg may not do well in an ass-kicking contest but he does assist William in his investigation by cosplaying as a bum. Plus, he actually finds a way to ride a bike AND while doing so, reveals that his crutch is actually also a shotgun!

No matter my opinions on this film just being average overall, I am glad that this still exists to be viewed in late 2018. Richard E. Norman had his own production company near Jacksonville, Florida and did a bunch of “all-colored films”, as they were known back then. At least this had enough competence for it to be an average, watchable motion picture. There is another supporting character that is a young lady and she wishes to become a pilot. That character was inspired by Bessie Coleman, a real life person at the time who was the first black lady and first Native American to become a pilot. I could speculate as to why most people are not familiar with her or her life... but I have a sinking feeling why that is the case.

Evil Brain from Outer Space

I both discuss this and bring up a film I reviewed earlier this year:

Because sometimes you gotta watch a 60's movie stitched together from random Japanese serials about a sentient brain from outer space.

To copy and paste sections of what I wrote in my review for Attack from Space: " I don't even want to mention how long I've had this movie in a box set from Something Weird Video and I never saw any of the movies from any of the discs until last night. This is a mid-60's English dub, one of four films that Walter Manley Enterprises put together; Americans were science fiction crazy so all sorts of foreign movies were dubbed and edited together to try and satiate the public's hunger for the genre.

In this case it was a late 50's serial from an offshoot of Toho in Japan; the hero was known there as Super Giant but in English he was Starman... no, Jeff Bridges nor Karen Allen were around. That serial is not to be confused with the Japanese TV show that was turned into two movies that were then combined into one to become the MST3K favorite Prince of Space. Anyhow, Starman was a human-looking creation sent by the wacky denizens of the “Emerald Planet” to stop various threats to Earth.

These productions must have been incredibly cheap; you can see the wires and the effects of the padded codpiece-sporting Starman (yes it's a true story, the codpiece was padded for what I'll call “masculinity reasons” flying are obvious. Yet that's part of the charm, how logic about space and other things are thrown out the window as there is plenty of silliness instead. Kitschy charm went a long way for me. Starman beats up the bad guys in a combination karate/ballet kind of way and at times it seemed interminable yet the hero not only uses guns when he can, he has a trademark laugh and cackles as the heels are unable to stop him." Also, they are stitched together from 40 minute long serials.

Now that this is cleared up, yes this is one of those movies pieced together from three different serials and I am not sure if any of them related aside from having “Sumarian” aliens as the villains. There are plenty of characters present in only 78 minutes and they typically vanish for long stretches (or disappear altogether) so I'll try to explain this daffy plot the best I can: the titular evil brain from outer space-Balazar-is usually stored in a suitcase and he wishes to lead the Sumarians in conquering Earth. They usually appear as humans but sometimes appear as reptilian humanoids... cue the paranoid conspiracy nuts.

Anyhow, this film has such things as:

* A “private hospital” that is actually headquarters for the bad guys.

* A boy who is dubbed to sometimes sound like Mickey Mouse... oh, and he pretty much cosplays as Sherlock Holmes. There is some goofy dubbing in this, and the the film I saw the night before (Contraband) had a supporting character who sounded just like a bad impression of John Wayne.

* A witchy woman who doesn't have the moon in her eyes but she does have long claws that she can shoot fire out of.

* “Nuclear weapons” is the threat, then it's “germ warfare.” Yes, I blame that on the multiple plots being smooshed together.

The resultant plot I can't say is impossible to follow... it is just disjointed as hell. Still, there is plenty of camp value and while at times it became brain-numbing, I was never bored.

Contraband

Contraband (Luca Il Contrabbandiere) (1980)

Runtime: 97 minutes

Directed by: Lucio Fulci... no, really

Starring: Fabio Testi, Ivana Monti, Marcel Bozzuffi, Saverio Marconi, Enrico Maisto

From: Several Italian Companies

As this was something I've known of for years and it sounded tremendous... it not being tremendous in my eyes is a problem: 

For a poliziotteschi done by FULCI, I expected more... and better. As someone I know is a huge fan of this film, Contraband is a flick I have known of for years now yet I kept on putting it off until earlier today. To be honest, there is no shortage of other poliziotteschi I'd rather watch or watch again than this one.

The plot is simple enough: Fabio Testi is part of the smuggling scene in Naples; he deals with cigarettes. Suddenly, those in the scene start dying and eventually, he (and we) discover who is responsible. This doesn't even have any sort of vehicular chase, unless you count some half-assed action with speedboats in the opening minutes. Otherwise it does have the hallmarks you'd expect in this sort of film... plenty of tough guys, criminal actions, violence, shootouts, and regrettably, violence against women. In this case, there is a lot of full frontal nudity and also a very gross scene that goes on way too long involving the lead girl... that being Testi's wife. Plus, the back half of this is a lot more exciting and interesting than the first half.

At least there was enough to where I can say this was fine. There are memorable moments, some badass bits, and genre veteran Testi does a swell job. Plus, Fabio Frizzi offers up a disco soundtrack, and that always tickles me pink. The most memorable aspect is all in the second half... while this movie does offer up an occasional Fulci hallmark in “not so great storytelling”, there is also graphic moments of gore. A woman's face receives a blowtorch and you see the damage it does... there are shotgun blasts to the face and stomach... and brains are splattered all over the place at one point. That just doesn't happen in this genre. I just wish the overall film would have been a blast to watch and for me it wasn't... even if there was one scene set at a discotheque.

Trick 'r Treat Is Still Very Good

As I finally catch up here, I revisited that film Halloween night; this was a wise decision on my part.