Starcrash

Starcrash (1978)

Runtime: 92 minutes

Directed by: Luigi Cozzi

Starring: Marjoe Gortner, Caroline Munro, David Hasselhoff, Robert Tessier, Joe Spinell

From: New World Pictures, at least in the United States

This Italian schlock, when an experience it was watching this: 

Here is another film I have known of for years now but just saw last night; of course I knew of Caroline Munro's infamous skimpy black leather outfit (and it was spectacular), yet I wasn't quite prepared for how low-budget and just how baffling the movie was. Did something get lost in translation?

The movie was a rather blatant clone of what is now known as Star Wars Episode IV: A New Hope; there's even a lightsaber, which made me wonder how they did not get sued to oblivion. Several heroes get together to stop evil Joe Spinell from ruling the galaxy. These babyfaces include smugglers, the son of the Emperor, and a robot named Elle who was voiced by Hamilton Camp and spoke as if it was from Texas. The budget was obviously meager and it does look laughable compared to what was seen in the new Star Wars... yet I can't get mad as I am sure they tried their best with what little money they had, and both the sets & models looked good, all things considered; some were even multicolored when you wouldn't expect them to be. The stop-motion is pretty cool, although I am not sure why there were giant robots that were feminized by giving them boobs AND nipples...

It's just that the plot, t does not always make sense, and sometimes is highly illogical. There are plenty of examples I can give but I'll just mention one. Marjoe Gortner has some magical powers and yet there is no explanation for them or how often they can be used. I mean, they are the sort that you'd think could be used all the time and they'd be greatly beneficial, but despite a half-assed explanation trying to explain this away, it still is rather puzzling. I mean, he did have a great head of hair and a hell of a tan in Starcrash, but the entire character was rather confounding.

All that said, at least I was entertained (if not puzzled at times) while watching this high piece of camp, where people like Christopher Plummer were somehow roped in, and there are quality B-actors like Robert Tessier and Joe Spinell as the evil villain. They must have ponied up the cash to pay John Barry to provide the score; allegedly the filmmakers did not want him to actually watch Starcrash, as he may have been aghast at how he was working on a wacky genre effort like this was.

I still don't quite know how to rate this; I guess I'll give it two stars, and then throw up my hands and be glad I picked the rating at random. If nothing else, I can now use the phrase, “David Hasselhoff, wielding a lightsaber” and describe something that actually happened in a movie.

Scene Of The Crime

Scene of the Crime (1949)

Runtime: 94 minutes

Directed by: Roy Rowland

Starring: Van Johnson, Arlene Dahl, Gloria DeHaven, Tom Drake, Leon Ames

From: MGM

Here is a random noir which I can say is good: 

You know, I would actually frequent a place called HIPPO'S COFFEE POT pretty often.

Last night TCM showed this film noir, and I figured it was worth a shot even if I understood beforehand it was not a classic. It was interesting as an early MGM attempt at the genre and while I thought it was “only” good, I can't complain as hey, it's still good. Plus, a location in the film is actually known as Hippo's Coffee Pot, and the titular Hippo was a short, fat dude.

Van Johnson is babyfaced cop Mike Conovan, who not only teams up with an aging partner losing his eyesight but also a young neophyte cop as they investigate the killing of a fellow police officer. The case ends up involving the likes of Hippo, strippers-including Gloria DeHaven-bookies and the robbing of gamblers. Arlene Dahl plays Mike's wife and she starts becoming uncomfortable being married to someone with such a dangerous job.

While this is not great nor a must-see (tough and gritty like the following year's notable MGM effort, The Asphalt Jungle, this is not), hopefully Scene of the Crime would at least be acceptable for noir fans; it was for me. It still has what you'd expect, from the tough dialogue and scenes set in seedy locations to dark shadows, shootouts, fistfights, and more. The movie is not something to spend a lot of time on tracking down (although it can be rented from Amazon)... if it happens to be on TV like it was last night, you may find it to be an acceptable way to spend an hour and a half... even if it is on the predictable side.

Don't Go In The House

Don't Go in the House (1979... or 1980)

Runtime: 90 minutes

Directed by: Joseph Ellison

Starring: Dan Grimaldi, Robert Carnegie, Bill Ricci, Ralph D. Bowman, Ruth Dardick

From: Turbine Films, Inc.

Or: When I give a disturbing horror movie bonus points for having a DISCO INTERLUDE.

I have known of this for awhile now; it's hard to forget something when you hear it's about a guy who snaps and burns women alive using a flamethrower and he wears a World War II fireproof suit. Tarantino is a fan and I finally decided to watch this last night on Prime, where they use a print saying the movie is called The Burning and for some reason, bad language is obviously dubbed out. As I've been told this is the longest version of the movie available... I now know why there have been comparisons made to William Lustig's Maniac; besides both following a similar main plot thread, they both have a few scenes that happen to be pretty similar. This was not as good as that nor did it make my skin crawl as much... that said, this was still pretty troubling.

Donnie is a young man who works at an incinerator... ironic, considering his mom is psycho (I use that word on purpose, as the film does not try to hide its obvious inspirations) and burned him with a flame as a kid for “being evil.” Donnie has a very bad day and this causes him to lose his sanity, build a metal room, and go after young women who he believes deserves to be punished. The movie is distressing as much of it is Donnie hearing voices and losing the fight in the battle for his mental health. This is definitely more about looking at things psychologically instead of watching kills happen on screen.

Don't Go in the House is definitely a low-budget effort where things are rough around the edges, some sound effects abruptly cut off and the acting isn't always the best; yet for what this is the movie is still... well I probably shouldn't say “enjoyable” but it was an interesting watch. Lead Dan Grimaldi does a very nice job with his role; I was told he was a recurring character on The Sopranos. It was a show I never watched (I have not been an avid fictional TV watcher in literally decades) but I am not surprised he ended up becoming someone who had an acting career.

In this creepy horror film with a creepy house and a creepy electronic musical score, there being disco moments amuses me to no end. Hearing a few library music tracks that fit the genre is one thing, but they actually spend some time where Donnie's one friend Bobby invites him over to a discotheque to hang out with wild women... and Bobby is going to cheat on his wife, so a saint he is not. Donnie goes to a tailor so he can buy appropriate clothing; the scene is pointless but at least it kills a few minutes, right? Then we spend a few minutes in the club and at least to me it was hilarious watching random people dance, wear funny clothing, and snorting up white lines. Donnie is introduced to a young woman who of course is named Farrah and things do not turn out well.

I did laugh pretty hard at how such a psychological horror picture dated itself with featuring an upbeat trend that was white-hot but only for a few years. That element literally does help make me rate this a little higher than I normally would have. You could even say this was a... disco inferno. But seriously, if you can endure such things as Maniac and rate it highly, there is a good shot you will find this worthwhile.

Mission: Impossible-Fallout

Mission: Impossible-Fallout (2018)

98% on Rotten Tomatoes (out of 172 reviews)

Runtime: 147 minutes

Directed by: Christopher McQuarrie

Starring: Tom Cruise and the rest of the gang, along with Henry Cavill and Angela Bassett

From: Paramount

All the tremendous praise you likely heard about this latest edition in the Mission: Impossible series... I say that praise is not inaccurate: 

As of late, I have seen plenty of people on Letterboxd rewatching the entire franchise before Fallout was released. I had already seen all of them before and did not feel like I needed to do new reviews. Yet I was definitely excited to see this; Ghost Protocol and Rogue Nation were the best of the five so far and hearing that the sixth did the incredibly rare feat of being the best one... I usually don't get too hyped up for movies but it was hard not to here. I saw this at a Dolby Cinema; it was not the usual one I attend in Orlando as the usual one I have never had a problem with before, which is in contrast to where I was at last night... this one has the larger screen, which is why I even gave it a second chance. There being a 20 minute delay with the start of the movie was not ideal, but there was an lol moment where for part of the time, all that was on screen was a Windows taskbar, and it was an older version of Windows at that. To be fair, once things were working, there were no issues and the picture/sound was breathtaking. 

I can now report that this movie is as great as many have said already. I am sure everyone has seen the trailers (although not all the footage from those trailers is in the film. Of course that is common now-a-days...) so I don't need to say much about even the basic plot; the “big baddie” from Rogue Nation returns and Henry Cavill speculates if Ethan Hunt will turn because there's been so many times where his own government has disavowed him. All I'll say is that there are plenty of twists & turns, but I am sure that is no surprise for those familiar with this series.

The story is the most enthralling of the entire franchise and it was fun watching the familiar faces along with the new ones interacting with each other. Ethan Hunt was humanized here and it was definitely likable to see that he cared about his team as they are all his friends. Henry Cavill may have questionable views about dating women in the “Me Too” era but he was a quality choice as someone who can act and was also an imposing figure who you could believe would hold his own against an Asian man who of course knows martial arts. Also, I will never not chuckle at how this movie trolled Justice League by not having him shave his mustache so (and I've seen the stills) you have Cavill as Superman with bad CG on his face to remove said mustache.

For me, the key is the action scenes; Ghost Protocol and Rogue Nation had ones that were pretty impressive, with Tom Cruise doing plenty of them on his own even if it is insane for a big star to risk his life like that. However, the ones here: jaw-dropping. There are several stellar action sequences, all pretty lengthy, all shot well, and all incredibly thrilling. This is what I want Hollywood, not that hyper-active editing or camera shaking nonsense. There is a long stretch in the final act where a lot happens and it's all a blast to watch. I can't put over strongly enough just how great the action beats are.

Since last night I was struggling with what I should rate this; there is a fault or two I could criticize if I wanted to, mainly concerning the story. After thinking about it, I went with the full five stars; of course I don't rate all movies the same way and of course there are always biases that creep in. For me, going with such a score is to highly reward not only an intense story but how the action is so astonishing and like I just said, exactly what I want from all genre efforts from Hollywood. I realize that doing everything practical is, well... not always practical due to cost or time constraints and all the effort & skill required or in fight scenes if the stars can actually fight or not... I was very happy to see it could still be done and the results were so spectacular. The fact that there's a wide variety in the action (as you noticed in the trailers, there were fights, all sorts of chases and shootouts) and none of it was less than great: I might as well reward a movie for doing something so critical, so right in my eyes. All that plus me enjoying the characters and the moments with each other: it just seems right to give this such a rating.

I won't go into detail here, except that yesterday some things happened to some people I know, and it was the sort of things that made me feel sad. It was a tremendous reprieve then to see a movie that provided a mammoth amount of fun and helped brighten the mood for a few hours.

The Time Machine

The Time Machine (2002)

Runtime: 96 minutes

Directed by: Simon Wells

Starring: Guy Pearce, Samantha Mumba, Mark Addy, Jeremy Irons, Orlando Jones

From: Warner Bros./Dreamworks

What an explanation I have for watching what was not a very good movie: 

Or: When the Planet of the Apes that I am reminded of while watching this is the one made by Tim Burton...

Before yesterday I never thought I would ever see this motion picture. Its reputation is not great and besides, I hadn't even seen the 1960 one in full. Yet I was somewhere and a person I know was watching this on the SyFy Channel; as I'd have to see the movie while eating dinner (which was at least better than the film), I might as well see it all. Yeah, it's not too great. Not that I would ever call this atrocious: I can't really complain about the acting and such things as the cinematography is fine. There are even some stylish moments. Overall, though...

This is a little different than the original H.G. Wells story or the 1960 version; Guy Pearce is Dr. Alexander Hartdegen, who builds the title object after his fiancee is killed... he wants to save her, you see, but that goes awry. He visits a few places and ends up 800,000 years in the future, where there are Eloi and Morlocks; he gets involved in those matters and really, that world reminded me so much of Burton's PotA... unfortunately that is not a plus as that motion picture was also rather lousy.

I'll presume the original story or the earlier film was more exciting and interesting than how this turned out. I suppose it did give me a few things to talk about.

* The novelty of H.G.'s great-grandson Simon Wells directing this. As he was otherwise an animation director and Gore Verbinski ended up directing part of this due to “extreme exhaustion”... but I won't say all of the movie's faults lie on him.

* I actually remember Samantha Mumba; at least in the United States she was a real one hit wonder. If people in the states do recall her, it would be for Gotta Tell You.

* That Orlando Jones character... not only was it pretty pointless, but a hologram that lasts for 800,000 years?!

* The way that Jeremy Irons looked in the movie: pretty incredible. Powdery white skin, long blonde hair, black lipstick, and bright blue eyes. I wish that character would have been in something better than this.

It's a common complaint yet it is accurate: the way this movie concludes really is a trainwreck and a disaster. Talk about going off the rails.

In my opinion, there is no real reason to see something that a lot of people probably forgot about by now.

The Good, The Bad And The Ugly

The Good, the Bad and the Ugly (Il Buono, Il Brutto, Il Cattivo) (1966)

Runtime: 180 minutes

Directed by: Sergio Leone

Starring: Clint Eastwood, Eli Wallach, Lee Van Cleef, Aldo Giuffre, Luigi Pistilli

From: Several companies from several countries

It was about time I saw this legendary movie again, and my opinion on its quality is little-changed: 

 

With this review I have now talked about and rated 1,500 films (most feature films, and some shorts) on Letterboxd. Mutual Bryan Nguyen noted recently this milestone was coming up, and I'll give him a shoutout here for that reason. This is a film I saw long ago (I mean, many years before I joined Letterboxd) and I was hoping I would still find it legendary viewing it with 2018 eyes; reviewing a classic for a milestone seemed wholly appropriate. Thankfully, I still think this is magnificent.

This is an epic story concerning three different characters all looking for a container that holds a LOT of gold; all three are distinct characters... “Blondie” (as he's usually referred to here) is technically the hero, Angel Eyes is a ruthless killer who is all about profit, and Tuco is a loudmouth bandit full of charisma who has done plenty of heinous things. None of these three are virtuous and as there are long stretches where it's only two of the three interacting with each other... they are happy to double-cross each other and temporarily use someone only for the purpose of getting closer to the gold. The setting is early 1860's New Mexico and the American Civil War is a key aspect to the plot; besides the fact that the gold belongs to the Confederates, the trio often get mixed up with both sides of the war.

I know there has been debate as to whether the 161 minute cut that played in the United States upon release or the 179 minute version that was restored and released about a decade ago is preferable; while the transfer has been debated (and from what I understand, all the Blu releases of the film apparently haven't gotten the look of the movie quite right) I am glad Kino Lorber's 2017 release has both versions in HD for the sake of nerds like us. I saw the three hour cut-the disc I played was an older MGM release of The Man with No Name trilogy-and personally that version is great as the added material doesn't ruin the pacing or seem pointless for the story.

Besides it being an epic that is always enthralling and the story being filled with interesting characters and the trio is incredible in their own ways, the way that Leone directed this... astounding. The long takes & shots are beautiful to look at, and there are plenty of close-ups; it's not just the iconic finale where the extreme zoom to a person's face filling the screen is used to perfection. And who can forget the Morricone score? The title song especially is instantly recognizable by millions even half a century later and it does plenty to help set the mood.

I also have to note that the trio is so great because of the characters they are and the performances by the screen titans who brought them to life. It is one of the best performances from Eastwood and the best from both Van Cleef and Wallach; Tuco is pretty amazing even has an especially ugly human being and I couldn't imagine another actor making them so charismatic and full of life. That was why I was saddened when Eli Wallach passed away a few years ago.

While I do understand the Spaghetti variety of Western may not be the favorite for Western fans, it is still a must for all film fans in general as the genre seldom rarely matched this, let alone topped it.

The Prowler

The Prowler (1951)

Runtime: 92 minutes

Directed by: Joseph Losey

Starring: Van Heflin, Evelyn Keyes, John Maxwell, Katherine Warren, Emerson Treacy

From: Horizon Pictures

I finally see another noir, and it was long overdue. Thankfully this is well worth checking out: 

In hindsight, perhaps due to my A/C problems (which are now fixed; a clogged pipe was the issue) I should have watched something like Body Heat last night as I was outside on the laptop. Alas... there are plenty of hot days in Florida so one day I'll get to that.

I realized recently it had been too long since I had watched a film noir; also recently a mutual gave this a strong review and this was one I had heard of before. As it's free on Prime, this seemed like a natural choice. This reminded me how noirs can be a lot of fun to explore; even one like this that is not as famous as the shining genre examples... this is something I am glad I saw as it is very good.

Van Heflin is police officer Webb Garwood; he and his polar opposite partner Bud Crocker respond to a prowler call at the house of Susan Gilvray (Evelyn Keyes). Garwood becomes smitten with her and it quickly turns to obsession. Unfortunately for him, she's married... although it is a loveless marriage. At first you think that only he will manipulate her; then you find out she reciprocates things as she also manipulates him.

This story proved to be quite interesting, with some unique complications happening for the two leads; it has to be noted that Dalton Trumbo did uncredited work on the script. Much of the movie is just the two leads acting against each other, and thankfully both Heflin and Keyes were great in roles that turned out to be pretty layered. To give an example, Garwood is haunted by his inadequacies and this has been a long-seated issue. Of course it becomes a big deal later on.

The Prowler is a particularly dark noir and those that dig the genre should check this out, particularly for the lead performances.

The Equalizer 2

The Equalizer 2 (2018)

51% on Rotten Tomatoes (out of 104 reviews)

Runtime: 121 minutes

Directed by: Antoine Fuqua

Starring: Denzel Washington, Pedro Pascal, Ashton Sanders, Orson Bean, Bill Pullman

From: Columbia and some other studios

This is a movie I thought was fun, even if it wasn't quite as glorious as the first one: 

Last night an air conditioner issue resulted in me seeing The Equalizer for the first time (which was a lot of fun) and then I was able to use the AMC Stubs A-List program (I can't put over enough how it's already saved me money or how easy it is to purchase a seat using your phone) to see the sequel on a giant IMAX screen. I thought the first film was a lot of fun and the final act was pretty glorious due to the setting and the “hell yeah!” moments of certain items being used as weapons. Naturally, this sequel is not as good and it does not reach those glorious heights... that does not mean I did not have fun also.

The plot is different from the original; this time there is an international case and Robert McCall ends up being targeted. Also, there are some small side stories and they serve to prove what a good dude he is... at the same time he is still someone who-even as a Lyft driver-is happy to do some old school Steven Seagal-esque limb breaking when some young D-bags do something pretty bad to a random woman. Only one of the subplots seemed kind of superfluous... still, it was resolved in a touching way so I can't get too mad.

The Seagal mention by me is actually apt as in this installment, McCall is pretty much unstoppable. As it is still glorious seeing him wreck dudes and cause a lot of havoc, I wasn't too bothered by it. The crowd definitely enjoyed the film and besides Denzel using all of his talent and charm to make the character so enthralling, I know they were here to see him be awesome... a few times you get to see some pretty badass moments and the audience was all for it, reacting loudly.

The finale was in an interesting setting and I liked seeing all of the action beats & dramatic moments. Unfortunately for it, it was not as memorable or fun as in the first movie. Still, for the first sequel that Denzel has ever done (that was a fact stated by a popular Letterboxd member and I did not realize it until I read his review) I did not think of this as bad or a waste of two hours. Hopefully for the members here or the general public that unexpectedly made this number one in the United States this past weekend, they won't think of this as disappointing or give this Lyft driver a low rating.

The Equalizer

The Equalizer (2014)

Runtime: 132 minutes

Directed by: Antoine Fuqua

Starring: Denzel Washington, Marton Csokas, Chloe Grace Moretz, David Harbour, Haley Bennett

From: Columbia and some other studios

Unexpectedly, I saw this and the sequel last night. The details are below, and 2's review will come tonight: 

It was not the original idea to watch this movie for the first time yesterday then right after go to an AMC to see the sequel in IMAX (that review is coming tonight) but something went awry where I live... the air conditioner stopped working; long story. I'll let the professionals fix it as the issue is above my capabilities. At least it was a rainy day so where I live did not become a sauna. As various people I know from all walks of life (as in, not just Letterboxd or messageboards) praised the movie, I figured I would give it a shot.

Turns out, I thought this was pretty good, something that takes its time and for this film the pacing works. I can admit it is a little silly and at times on the implausible side, but a big asset is having Denzel as the lead; also, his character of Robert McCall is pretty likable. He used to be an assassin type but he retired and he is now the type who likes to hang out in diners, reads classic literature-done for a touching reason-helps out others (including his co-workers at the Home Depot clone that is now his job) and befriends a young Russian lady who happens to be a prostitute. He unwittingly becomes involved in a feud with some scummy Russkies... especially in this day and age it is easy to root against the Russians again.

It was also a lot of fun watching McCall violently wreck-and this is pretty violent-a bunch of awful human beings. The setting that much of the final act takes place in: great, along with how such a setting was used at its very best. The sort of things you hope would be used as weapons actually were, and at least for me I laughed a few times. In addition, there is an amusing usage of the Gladys Knight & The Pips song Midnight Train to Georgia and that was set up beforehand pretty well. The fact that this became popular and did well enough to inspire a sequel, I am not surprised.

Throne Of Blood

Throne of Blood (Kumonosu-jo) (1957)

Runtime: 110 minutes

Directed by: Akira Kurosawa

Starring: Toshiro Mifune, Isuzu Yamada, Takashi Shimura, Akira Kubo

From: Toho

I did a pretty rare thing and deleted my original review of this film (done in 2010) as it was no good. See something better about this movie below:

In this special night owl posting of a review (pretty rare for me), note the motion pictures below:
Rashomon
Ikiru
Seven Samurai
Throne of Blood
The Hidden Fortress
The Bad Sleep Well
Harakiri
The Sword of Doom

All of these movies were co-written by one man: Shinobu Hashimoto. I mean, Rashomon was the first movie he ever wrote; what a hell of a debut. Unfortunately, Hashimoto has just passed away at the age of 100. Especially on Letterboxd, his career needs to be noted as it is amazing he was part of so many highly regarded motion pictures and worked so often with another legend in Kurosawa. I feel this movie is “just” very good and that is far from an insult when you look at the body of work from both director and co-writer.

I had seen this before, albeit a few years before I joined Letterboxd. It was no problem seeing this version of Macbeth again, which was done in the Noh style; considering its theatrical nature there is no surprise that it is rather exaggerated. Yet it works for the telling of this tale, which I won't elaborate upon as I'll presume everyone at least knows the basics of this Shakespearean piece of work, concerning how the titular character is foretold success in a prophecy... spurned on by his scheming wife, he achieves it but due to paranoia and other factors, things come crumbling down. It is not the most faithful of adaptations but that is OK; there is no shortage of films that follow the original story more closely.

Considering the talent involved, no kidding that this was at least very good and plenty say it is great. Toshiro Mifune as Not Macbeth was boss as always, and Isuzu Yamada as Not Lady Macbeth also did quality work as the schemer. The story managed to work pretty well in a samurai setting, and often you see plenty of fog, which helped set the mood. The ending: I'll just say it's a stunner.
Sometime in the future I need to see more films from Hashimoto (as in, ones new to me) as I will presume I will love most of them, or at the very least rate them pretty high as I did with Throne of Blood.

Unfriended: Dark Web

Unfriended: Dark Web (2018)

62% on Rotten Tomatoes (out of 37 reviews)

Runtime: 93 minutes

Directed by: Stephen Susco

Starring: Colin Woodell, Rebecca Rittenhouse, Betty Gabriel, Andrew Lees, Connor Del Rio, Savira Windyani

From: Universal

“I am now scared to go on the computer!”- a young lady's comment after the film. Imagine the pull-quote for the poster: “Does for the Internet what Jaws did for the water!” That'd be incredible.

The original Unfriended will likely forever be a polarizing film. I understand those that hate it for a variety of reasons; the specific one of all the characters being horrible human beings; to me, that was fine as they were teenagers* and they were punished severely for being such s---bags. I know many will be more satisfied with this just because you'll enjoy the young adult characters more... except for the loudmouth YouTube personality who rants about all sorts of crazy BS; I was shocked he wasn't shown bitchin' about The Last Jedi for months... I don't like The Last Jedi but the way that multiple accounts on YouTube have been complaining about the movie and the state of the franchise and how much they hate Kathleen Kennedy and they do video after video about it... enough already!

Oh wait where was I? Oh yes, Unfriended: Dark Web. This movie is definitely different from the first one, so people that hated Unfriended, this may be more for your tastes. The plot: one night on the laptop of our lead guy-Matias-is shown; it's a new one he acquired, for the purpose of trying to create a program that'll help his deaf girlfriend; their relationship is having its ups and downs. He also talks on Skype to several pals and among other things, they play Cards Against Humanity. Matias discovers some dark, twisted things on his computer and unwittingly opens a connection to the Dark Web.

The movie is on the preposterous side and admittedly, a few times I just about guffawed at moments that were supposed to be serious. Yet I was still entertained by the drama and how it builds & builds. You'll find out the movie is rather dark in nature... in fact, surprisingly so for a 2018 wide release movie from a major studio. Plus, the audience was definitely invested and it was easier to swallow than the original's plot of “dead teen girl's spirit has seemingly unlimited powers as she gets revenge on the comically evil teenagers who were involved in some way w/ her suicide.” I know some will appreciate how the movie engages in some inclusion; the hearing-impaired girl's handicapped is exploited to advance the plot so think of that how you will... but two characters happen to be a lesbian couple.

A few days ago the news came out concerning how the film is playing at the cinema and there are two different endings and it is random which theatre gets which ending. How has this been the first high-profile attempt to do such a thing like Clue 33 years ago? It's not been confirmed but there's evidence which shows that it has to be true. At the very end, there is an obvious point where it would split off into two... that is just speculation on my part. All I'll say about what I got to see: it was the worst possible outcome, which did seem fitting for its bleak tone.

I was happy I had much fun with this as I wasn't so sure about its prospects beforehand.

* No offense to the teenagers reading this; you're all fine people. However, I think many of “the youths” seem pretty awful.

Get Carter (The Original)

Get Carter (1971)

Runtime: 112 minutes

Directed by: Mike Hodges

Starring: Michael Caine, Ian Hendry, John Osborne, Tony Beckley, Rosemarie Dunham

From: MGM

Last night I rewatched the remake right after I saw this for the first time. The remake is still OK with me and not because it features one of my favorites; there actually are some good or better scenes. However, what an error it was not to watch this years ago: 

Oh, what a fool I was for not watching this much sooner; I had seen the remake back in 2012 and multiple people informed me the original was something I should check out. They were right as this is a movie I thought was great; a dark nihilistic look at ruthless SOB gangster Jack Carter who returns to his hometown of Newcastle to find out if his brother really did die of drunk driving or something more sinister happens.

Mike Hodges was a first time director here yet you couldn't tell it; he was quite self-assured throughout. The score was pretty groovy at times and it ended up oddly working for a blue collar rainy area like Newcastle. As the movie was filmed to be naturalistic, the unique feeling of that area really shines through. Then there are all the unforgettable characters, most of them pretty slimy in nature. Jack Carter is the lead but in no way he is a hero... instead he is an anti-hero who acts like a villain himself at times when he gets his revenge.

Michael Caine was pretty incredible as Jack; he was totally believable as the hard-nosed brutal character. The best scene for him was when he unexpectedly finds out something shocking concerning his niece Doreen. That was a masterclass of acting from Caine in how he reacted in this scene, and you can understand why he gets so upset he gets revenge, although you won't agree with all of his methods.

I am uncertain if I was supposed to laugh at these moments like I did, but there were some pretty funny moments. I am talking about bits like a random catfight happening, along with everything involving Edna, an older lady who has rooms for let and this is where Jack Carter stays at while in Newcastle. All of their interactions were fantastic to me, and a particularly hilarious scene was when Jack calls his girl Britt Ekland and he talks dirty while she gets quite turned on... and Edna is sitting not even 10 feet away the entire time.

The movie even has a perfect shot of a finale. Considering how hard-hitting it is even almost 50 years later-and I know some will naturally not care for all the misogyny on display-I know it is not for all tastes but for those that love such genre efforts, this is a must-see.

The Cannonball Run

The Cannonball Run (1981)

Runtime: 95 minutes

Directed by: Hal Needham

Starring: An all-star cast, including Burt Reynolds, Roger Moore, Farrah Fawcett, Dom DeLuise, Dean Martin and Sammy Davis, Jr.

From: Golden Harvest

This movie was a big hit at the time; perhaps it doesn't play as well today but I still can't hate it: 

To be frank here, such things as nostalgia (I saw this movie a few times as a kid) and the cast full of famous faces helps The Cannonball Run when it comes to me saying this was fine. The plot is rather threadbare, a lot of the humor is pretty juvenile, stereotypes are all over the place, some women were apparently cast mainly due to their bra size (and Farrah Fawcett never wears one for the entirety of the picture), the focus seems to be on big stunts-naturally for Hal Needham-and there are such things as Lebanese Jamie Farr playing a sheikh and both Jackie Chan & Michael Hui (heck, their character names are their real names) play JAPANESE racers who drive in a Subaru full of technology. I am pretty sure they speak Cantonese the entire time... to think that Golden Harvest made this. I am sure many people would love to forget how badly Hollywood bungled the first attempt to make Chan famous in America; at least he had another chance to and the second time (even w/ some awful American movies) was much better.

Based on the real life Cannonball Baker Sea-to-Shining-Sea Memorial Trophy Dash (held a few times in the 70's), a bunch of characters compete in a race across the United States, lasting approximately 3,000 miles-a little more than 4,800 kilometers-and some of the teams competing in the film were based on real life racers who competed in the Trophy Dash. The all-star cast and their charms definitely helps, even if some are playing to their real life personas (Sammy Davis, Jr. loves to gamble, Dean Martin imbibes plenty of alcohol) or there are odd decisions... Roger Moore plays a rich Jewish man named Seymour Goldfarb Jr. who thinks he is... Roger Moore and 007, accompanied w/ music that is only faintly different from The Bond Theme. I understand Eon Productions did not find this subplot all that amusing.

Then there is Dom DeLuise who is an eccentric that needs to be a superhero persona of Captain Chaos to do anything successfully. Thankfully that wasn't as stereotypical or cruel as it could have been. This time around I appreciated Jack Elam as Dr. Nikolas Van Helsing-subtle, this movie typically is not-as he provided some solid laughs. I also have to note the soundtrack, which brought together some pretty different elements... Chuck Mangione, Lou Rawls and Ray Stevens; his title song is amusingly disco-riffic.

I just saw someone in a messageboard thread utter, “F--- The Cannonball Run.” I won't fault or argue with anyone who feels that passionately with their hatred of the movie; me, I can say it is fine despite some questionable material. You get to hear both Burt and Dom laugh a few times, and Joyce Kilmer is even name-dropped; the movie correctly identifies the writer/poet as male.

I Watched Josie And The Pussycats Again Last Night, Because...

It's because on Sunday, I got to meet Rachael Leigh Cook in person! I still don't believe it myself. Read the new review below and hear some details about this climatic meeting: 

Before last night I hadn't watched any of her movies in ages but personally, Rachael Leigh Cook makes my heart a-flutter and there's a reason why I created a list of her movies that I've seen. Film fans may not even know much about her filmography after her theatrical days way back when. Well, she appeared in a variety of independent films, some of them pretty good or better, some fine and a few that ended up being pretty lousy. I mention all this as Sunday I attended a particular comic-con for the first time; the reason why was that I went SWOON when I looked at their website & saw Ms. Cook would be there as one of the guests. She rarely does cons so her being at one within driving distance was a must-attend for me.

I'd like to say I am just as jovial and loquacious in person as I am doing reviews here on Letterboxd; for various reasons, I am not. My social skills aren't the greatest and boy did I ever have anxiety as I had a professional photo op with her (that can be viewed on my Twitter linked on my profile page if you so desire; on Facebook the photo received a few dozen likes. I know many were shocked that out of nowhere, a picture of an odd eccentric like me appeared and I was posing with the girl from She's All That) and later chatted with her at her autograph table. I was hoping I could actually act normal and not let the nerves or my subpar social skills get in the way. Regrettably, things weren't as smooth as I had hoped for. Thankfully she is as nice and pleasant as I've always heard she was. To me that is more appealing than her physical appearance-which I say is still great in 2018-considering how we've found out in the past year there are more scummy people in Hollywood than any of us would like to admit. The whole thing did not go exactly as I expected it to but that is OK as it was me, not her. It was a day I'll never forget.

Thus, I figured it would be appropriate to see this movie again last night. I am not surprised that even film fans don't agree on it so ratings are all over the place; it is rather loud and unsubtle and yet I enjoy it, and no it has nothing to do with the good looks of the titular Pussycats. I love the satire and how it skewers such topics as pop music, subliminal music and commercialization; the last bit seems especially prescient in 2018 considering you have commercials that advertise both a product and a movie at the same time. The feeling of annoyance that I am sure some will get from the movie: I get. I just don't feel the same way. I was also amused by the potshots at boy bands; things were pretty insane in the late 90's on that front with The Backstreet Boys & *NSYNC... some women I know or knew took that incredibly seriously.

Cook, Tara Reid and Rosario Dawson all do well with their roles as three different personalities. Alan Cumming and Parker Posey also are fine as the over the top villains. The film is definitely never boring as a lot happens with the band and their sudden rise... and the ulterior motives of the heels. For me there are plenty of amusing moments & one-liners and the songs you hear are catchy fun, although Cook is dubbed there by Kay Hanley, the lead of the band Letters to Cleo.

I understand the movie is not like the comics or the cartoon, and someone I know on a messageboard expressed his disappointment there; fair, but I have haven't read those comics or seen the cartoon so I can dig this for what it is. The movie flopping at the time is unfortunate but maybe it would have done better if it had come out if things then were like they are now. This movie is jerkin'... if you've seen and remember this, you'll know I suddenly did not get all disgusting here...

The Night Eats The World

The Night Eats the World (La Nuit A Devore Le Monde) (2018)

Runtime: 93 minutes

Directed by: Dominique Rocher

Starring: Mainly Anders Danielsen Lie, although there's also the likes of Golshifteh Farahani

From: Several French companies

For a film playing in not a lot of locations currently, this was fine... although the audience experience was quite bad: 

  

This movie was another one I used my AMC Stubs A-List app to see. I was in a different part of the state yesterday and I had a special day (wait until I talk about it in my next review); it capped out with me seeing this French film-now also on VOD-and as it's not playing in the area I live in... unfortunately I did not care for the staff at this AMC and the audience experience was pretty rotten. A shame, as this movie was interesting and a different look at the “tired for a good amount of time now” zombie genre. 

The opening scene: the opening to Cloverfield, in essence. A dude named Sam is at a party to retrieve some items from an ex. Things don't go well and he stays the night there after having a few drinks He wakes up and discovers a zombie apocalypse happens and not only is he the only one alive in the apartment complex, but as far as he can see, he's the only person in Paris who is not a member of the undead. He has a good cry about it but then tries to think logically as to how to survive as long as he can in this situation. He does surprisingly well considering the circumstances but he does F up a few times and understandably, the isolation starts to wear him down.

Admittedly, some aspects could be nitpicked; yet I still found it to be a different way to look at such a plot and thankfully for a movie where most of the time where there is only one person doing non-zombie things, Anders Danielsen Lie as Sam does well in the role and I was never bored. I do get how some think this movie is dull or even pretentious; for me I rate it as fine. I realize this is not a popular opinion but those French Extreme movies from the early 2000's, I was not a fan of any of them. Personally, they seemed to be more about being gross with gore rather than tell an interesting or entertaining or even a logical story. I was glad this was not that, although it was in English and the lead actors were not from France.

I wish the audience experience was better but I was glad it was only the crowd I found to be insufferable, not the movie itself.

Boo! A Madea Halloween

Tyler Perry's Boo! A Madea Halloween (2016)

Runtime: 103 minutes

Directed by: Tyler Perry, although “directed” is being used loosely here

Starring: Tyler Perry, a bunch of random people, and apparently some “YouTube celebrities”, none of whom I recognized

From: Lionsgate/Tyler Perry Studios

My God...

For a long while now I've been curious about seeing a Tyler Perry movie, and I don't mean those that he just acts in. I mean ones from his studio. All the success he's had working independently is commendable... except that for just about as long I've heard complaints concerning how awful and low-rent those films were. I have had enough detailed reviews of this motion picture in general to expect the worst, but when I saw it was available for free on Prime, I couldn't help myself and watched it last night despite it being a few months away from Halloween.

This... this was atrocious. Madea and her Goof Troop buddies, all of them were intolerable characters that yelled all the time and uttered plenty of gross comments; I hated all of them. Perry out of makeup plays a dad named Brian who is a wimp that is a pushover and he has a 17 year old daughter named Tiffany who is a shrill stereotype of the worst teenager you could imagine. She wants to go to a frat party (apparently populated by “YouTube celebrities”, none of whom I recognized) but is denied for obvious reasons. She and a friend sneak out and the Goof Troop try to find them. A LOT of intelligence-insulting moments happen, along with all the “old people” incessantly babbling, yelling and repeating the same six jokes over and over again. For example, someone being a “computer” hacker means they can control a faucet that has traditional handles... and also causes words to be written on a mirror as someone is looking at the mirror.

The movie is also ineptly made and if you love establishing shots in your movies, have I have a treat for you. Then again I understand there are other Perry works that might as well be made by Coleman Francis, they are so laughably put together. Heck, a big plot point is that 17 year olds at a frat party is bad news, but 18 year old guests are OK... even though the legal drinking age everywhere in the United States is 21. Oh, what a long agonizing sit this was.

I was going to give this a modicum of credit for the moment where father and daughter change and their relationship is not so awful any longer... then it's ruined by buffoonery and a plot point that was REALLY stupid. Honestly, even I was taken aback by how awful this was; what particularly offends me is that these movies are actually popular and people actually uproariously laugh at them. There is a depressing thought. I'll presume his dramas are better, as I hear they are absurd and they won't be jam-packed with putrid “comedy”.