Chillerama

Chillerama (2011)

Runtime: 120 minutes

Directed by: Adam Green, Joe Lynch, Adam Rifkin, & Tim Sullivan

Starring: This is a horror anthology, but the most famous faces are Joel David Moore, Eric Roberts, Lin Shaye, Ray Wise, & Kane Hodder

From: Ariescope

This is a horror-comedy anthology I've had on DVD for awhile but I've never watched until tonight. I've heard that the filming of this anthology was a nightmare to film due to it being a low-budget affair and trying to do 4 short movies and put them together with a overarching story... there won't be a Chillerama 2, that is what I gathered.

I wasn't sure what to expect going in. I heard that the overarching story (which ended up also being the final segment of the film) was how the owner of the last drive-in in America was shutting down but not before showing four films in an extravaganza. Right away, I had an issue as there indeed are a decent amount of drive-ins that are still up and running, and trying to say that there are literally none left is pretty stupid. I've been to one in Tampa a few times (including to see Grindhouse, which was pretty awesome and seeing a car full of people go crazy for  the ending of Death Proof... it has to be one of my favorite theatre-going experiences) and the Silver Moon Drive-In in Lakeland, I've been to a decent number of times before.

The “plot” is that a drive-in is closing down; it's never said that it's the last one in America, so I don't know why the movie's publicity suggested so... anyhow, the drive-in shows four super-obscure films, that being Wadzilla (yes, Wadzilla), I Was A Teenage Wearbear, The Diary Of Anne Frankenstein, and the final short was supposed to be Deathication (which revolves all around feces) but the final part of the movie is chaos going on at the drive-in. How it all starts... pretty awful and makes no sense, but that's unfortunately par for the course with this film.It involves blue blood (literally; I don't mean a member of an aristocratic background) and a guy who gets his genitals bitten off but not really finding it all that painful.

Wadzilla is about one sperm that becomes giant-sized and attacks New York City. It's set in the 50's. Think that one segment in Woody Allen's Everything You Wanted To Know About Sex (But Were Afraid To Ask) which ended with Woody and a girl being chased by one giant breast, only it was done much better there and that movie is much better than this one. Eric Roberts appears as General Bukkake. Yeah. That's as “clever” and “matutre” as the humor gets. However, I was amused a few times and this ended up being the best segment in the movie.

The Wearbear one... WOW. And I mean WOW in a bad way. This rivals Hatchet III and Only God Forgives as amongst the worst filmmaking and the hardest bit of footage to get through this year. You start off with it being pretty much incomprehensible and you have no idea what in the blue hell is going on; it takes a few minutes to figure it out. Meanwhile, the movie is set in “1962” and yet you see cars from the late 60's, the 70's and even the 80's. This was horrible, and not in the spoof way either; this is shockingly atrocious filmmaking, and it's a MUSICAL; several songs are sung and they're all terrible in the worst ways and oh yeah, it's about gay werewolves. This really sunk the movie and yet even if you skip that segment, this would still be a poor insufferable film to sit through.

The Anne Frankenstein one... the “joke” is that all the actors are speaking legit German, but Joel David Moore (who plays “Hitler”) speaks gibberish that's supposed to be German but isn't. Yeah, it's even less funny than it sounds. It's just loud and overbearing and a complete 180 from being even smirk-worthy, let alone hilarious and a laugh riot. 

You see a few minutes of Deathication and it's all about shit, literally. To describe that segment as “shit” is actually offensive to shit. After that, you get the rest of the film, where chaos is happening at the drive-in and while it is quite graphic, it is also quite not good and quite not funny, unless you enjoy a non-stop assault of lazy and uncreative movie references presented and references in the laziest most ham-fisted ways. Oh, and the thing that happens at the drive-in which causes the chaos... via circumstances too lame to get into, people start turning into zombies... horny zombies. Yes. Maybe if you're 13 you'd find it amusing. Otherwise...

Yeah, I hated this film! I now regret purchasing this film back in 2011, although at least the hand-drawn cover is pretty cool. Unfortunately, the movie seems like the result of a bukkake session among the filmmakers (who are all close buddies) and this wankfest is what you ended up with. If you find Troma movies to be too sophisticated and mature then you should see this. Otherwise, this is a must-avoid. I'll be back on Wednesday night, as I really do need a day of recovery after seeing 2 hours of awfulness in a row.