Evilspeak

Evilspeak (1981)

Runtime: 93 minutes

Directed by: Eric Weston

Starring: Clint Howard, a bunch of random people playing loathsome teens (although one of them was played by Donna's dad from That 70's Show), plus Hamilton Camp, R.G. Armstrong, & Lenny Montana

From: Warner Bros.

The dog dying was not my only gripe with this.

Last night I was struggling with deciding on something to watch; I went to the Shudder app and on one of their three channels that plays movies 24/7, this was starting up. I only watched the first few minutes before stopping then picking it out to watch on my own as I did not have the time then. What I saw first was the awesome old Warner Brothers logo they had at the time that is hard to see now as most copies now of films from that time have that logo replaced with their modern one. Nostalgia is why the period logo is something I mark out for. Anyhow, the first scene involves an evil Satanic priest named Esteban from several hundred years ago-who was supposed to be from Spain but was played by Richard Moll!-and a ritual that naturally involved a topless woman and it also revealed that the special effects did not always look good.

After seeing that I was intrigued enough to finally see a movie I only knew a few things about, such as it being edited to death along with dozens of others back in the draconian world of 1980's UK censorship. Unfortunately for me, too much of the movie is not fun. Aside from real confused storytelling which made me wonder if scenes were excised right before it was released, they went way overboard on almost everyone in the military academy hating Clint Howard's chubby nerd character. I mean, that made it a slog to get through seeing a group of bullies act like cartoon bad guys around him for minutes on end.

You see, the academy was built on land that was owned by Esteban & gang; one day Howard discovers a hidden room that contains a book which allows for Esteban to... possess an Apple II computer?! It'd take too long to even try and explain-plus I don't entirely understand it myself. There's wild hogs on the loose, more nudity, way more bullying, etc. I'll be real here: I was in fact bullied back in my childhood, including school; I'd rather not go into details except to say it wasn't as severe as what was shown here. As if they needed even more heat on them, the bullies also kill a dog.

By the time the gleefully over the top ending happens which was obviously based on Carrie-then again, the entire film is in essence based on that plot-the conclusion was not enough for me to like this picture. As fun as it was to see horrible people die gruesome deaths, the movie had lost me. It's not all bad-at least it can receive an OK rating. There are some familiar faces, such as Lenny Montana (funny that I revisited another one of his roles earlier today) & R.G. Armstrong. The graphics that you see on the computer of course are far more colorful then what was actually on an Apple II... yet at least they did look good by 1981 standards so no complaints there. Then again plenty of people like Evilspeak more than I do so YMMV.

 

Stormy Weather

Stormy Weather (1943)

Runtime: 78 minutes

Directed by: Andrew L. Stone

Starring: Lena Horne, Bill “Bojangles” Robinson, Cab Calloway, Fats Waller, Dooley Wilson

From: 20^th Century Fox

This was the perfect movie to watch during the conclusion of Black History Month. This was made by 20th Century Fox during WWII as frothy entertainment; both white and Black films (of course this is the latter) during the war presented musicals that had threadbare plots which tied together various musical numbers. With what's going on in the world now... it was also the time for frothy entertainment.

This is rather loosely based on star Bill “Bojangles” Robinson's life. From World War I to present time the career of Bill Williamson is presented-from his time as a soldier to joining a big production to Hollywood success to performing at a benefit for WWII soldiers about to disembark. The plot isn't that important although at least it provided some laughs & clever wordplay alongside the numerous routines presented-yes, one of them was of the classic 1930's tune Stormy Weather. There is a romance between Bojangles and Lena Horne... sure, there's quite the age gap between the two yet Robinson looked far younger than in his 60's here so it wasn't creepy, at least when you were watching.

Personally, it was a delight to see such talents as Robinson, Horne, Cab Calloway (I rarely use the term “swag” but he had it), Fats Waller, Katherine Dunham and Ada Brown all perform their song & dance act. No matter your race/ethnicity the movie is worth watching to see such great performers do their thing when it wasn't common for their thing to be captured forever. Of course there's the awkwardness of a blackface routine (yes, Black people even did the act of portraying stereotypical characters) along with images of a Golliwog doll and that's an regrettable reminder of the past. Even with that, this is worth seeing; various clips of the performances are on YouTube but everyone's highlight is the number that dancers The Nicholas Brothers did. It was so jaw-dropping that even Fred Astaire was astounded... as was I.

Death On The Nile (The 70's One)

Death on the Nile (1978)

Runtime: 140 minutes... which flew by rather quickly

Directed by: John Guillermin

Starring: One hell of a cast, which I'll mention below

From: EMI Films

Presumably, many people on Letterboxd “stan” the relationship between the characters played by Bette Davis and Maggie Smith.

As promised earlier in the month, it was time for me to use the Criterion Channel to view this version of Agatha Christie's novel. A few weeks ago, I mentioned that Kenneth Branagh's version was fine without having watched this beforehand. Now, I can say that I do prefer this to that. Naturally, the story in both is quite similar, although there are some different characters and frankly, those present here were more entertaining to me overall. By now I imagine I don't have to go into detail on how this is about a wealthy heiress who was newly married and is honeymooning on a boat in Egypt where there's no possible shortage of people who have a beef with her, then... 

Peter Ustinov tickled me pink as Hercule Poirot, a Belgian (not French, as he is oft to remind those incorrect in his heritage) who was hilariously in how he interrogated the suspects. What a team he made w/ David Niven as they investigated the case, although personally the best duo was the one played by Bette Davis and Maggie Smith; the latter was the former's caretaker and they bickered constantly--yet Smith always dressed like 1930's Marlene Dietrich and it should be obvious to many what their ACTUAL relationship was. Those that haven't seen the movie yet may now be enticed to...

As I was saying, what a cast this has. Besides the names already mentioned, there's Angela Lansbury as a horny drunk author-no, really-George Kennedy, Olivia Hussey, Jon Finch, Mia Farrow, Jane Birkin, and Jack Warden. The lead couple-Simon MacCorkindale and Lois Chiles manage to perform rather well even if they aren't the most famous people in the cast. Overall, those that like the old-timey mystery films definitely should give this a shot; the 140 minute length shouldn't automatically disqualify it for some. At least w/ my tastes, all the characters present and the storytelling meant that it was always interesting during its length. For certain the views of Egypt alone were a delight. The other times that Ustinov played Poirot, they may be watched in the future if the films were as charming as this.

Before Sunrise

Before Sunrise (1995)

Runtime: 101 minutes

Directed by: Richard Linklater

Starring: Mostly it's just Ethan Hawke & Julie Delpy

From: Castle Rock Entertainment

Man, I was a rooster prick for not seeing this much sooner! Romantic dramas just aren't my thing, even ones that are as highly rated as this, and knowing of the entire trilogy's praise for so many years. Finally-as the world is currently burning-it seemed like the time to check out something I was hoping to at least be charmed by. Turns out, I managed to love the movie which is why it receives such a high rating.

A movie solely devoted to two characters meeting randomly on a train and they spend all night walking around Vienna, Austria as they get to know each other then fall in love even with the knowledge that it's likely they will never meet again-I actually wasn't sure about it based on a premise. Thank heavens the movie won me over. The fact that there were no cliché moments such as forced conflict or dumb over the top moments was a welcome relief in general, but especially in the genre. Instead, the viewer got to know the characters the same time that Jesse and Celine did via conversation; for all the conversing present, all of it was worthwhile... whether it be thought-provoking, silly, philosophical, bold, subtle, or anything else.

It was a charming movie which managed to feel all so real and magical at the same time, as the two visit a lovely historical city and briefly meet a wide variety of characters, but the focus is always on the duo. What a duo they are—what excellent performances from Ethan Hawke and Julie Delpy. What they didn't say-glances, facial expressions, and the like-was just as important as all the dialogue that is heard; the fact that much of the script was rewritten by them in an uncredited fashion means that their contribution to making this film so great is all the more impressive.

I am sure many of us have experienced a wonderful night they wish could last forever and/or feel regret that they met someone only once & wish there would have been at least a second chance; I can say I felt both and not reveal further details. None of it was like playing pinball w/ Delpy in a Viennese bar! This was exactly what I needed on this day and of course later in the year I will happily check out the other two pictures in the trilogy.

Decision At Sundown

Decision at Sundown (1957)

Runtime: 77 minutes

Directed by: Budd Boetticher

Starring: Randolph Scott, John Carroll, Karen Steele, Valerie French, Noah Berry, Jr.

From: Columbia

Not the best collaboration between Budd Boetticher and Randolph Scott, but it was the most interesting. This was another DVR recording made earlier in the month I finally got around to. I rate the others I've seen so far higher, although that is no slight against this as it was still pretty good and I'll give it props for presenting a different sort of story (based on a novel) than expected. It is different from even the other psychological Westerns I've experienced, without being a bad sort of different.

Things are more complex than they first seem when I mention that the story is of Scott's character seeking revenge against the guy who he blames for his wife's death. The villain is a little despot who effectively runs a town called Sundown-insert your own possible comparisons to any real life figures-through fear & intimidation. The wife is (unfortunately) “slut-shamed” and in what was a surprise to me, the main agent that moves the story along isn't always the lead character. At times the plot progresses through his presence and not his overt actions. Like I said, complex.

Even more thought-provoking is that the lead is not always the most likable character and in fact it is possible you may grow to dislike him the longer the story goes. With him, he probably thinks it's a shame when he's feeling better when he feels no pain... he's flawed and so was his wife, but that's easy for me to say. Still, getting lost in her love was probably his first mistake. Even if it not always successful, having such elements as “a Greek chorus” (as I've seen some others on Letterboxd remark) and acres of nice dialogue, meant that there was no regrets in spending 77 minutes w/ this universe.

Air Crew

Air Crew (Ekipazh) (1979... or 1980)

Runtime: 137 minutes

Directed by: Aleksandr Mitta

Starring: Georgi Zhzhyonov, Anatoliy Vasilev, Leonid Filatov, Alexandra Yakovleva, Irina Akulova

From: Mosfilm

Yes, even the Soviet Union once made a disaster movie. I realize that now may not be the best time to mention something from Russia, but... let me not go into detail on real life geopolitics and instead just note that movies from the Soviet Union or even Russia after Communism fell can be rather interesting, nevermind the Soviet or Russian government. I have no Russian blood in me I've known of this movie for awhile, but just recently discovered it is available for free on YouTube... and officially, on the YouTube channel that Mosfilm has. As that studio has been around for 98 years, there's no shortage of videos they have posted. Only some have English subtitles, but thankfully this was one that does.

This movie has an interesting structure; literally the first 80 of the 137 minute runtime is spent w/ three pilots, who afterwards are shown on the same ill-fated plane. The pre-tragedy may sound like a drag, but for me it wasn't. It was incredibly melodramatic as the trio had their problems. The first has a pregnant teen daughter, the second has a monster of a wife who at least by my interpretation has an undiagnosed mental disorder & they divorce (by the by, I learned from the movie that divorces were apparently done in the Soviet Union by a panel of three judges-that may still happen in Russia now for all I know) and the third is my favorite—he is a swingin' bachelor who has a bitchin' apartment filled with multicolored lights. He finds a new girl I'll describe as Soviet Amber Tamblyn and of course is a flight attendant so how he impresses her in his digs is to turn on the lights and turn on the stereo, which plays what I'll call SOVIET DISCO MUSIC. As a simple YouTube search reveals that even synthpop made its way behind the Iron Curtain in the 80's, I was not too surprised to hear such a thing-although odd-sounding, it was.

Once the relationship stuff is over with, it is not long before the disaster happens. A plane w/ the three pilots & Soviet Amber Tamblyn flies to a fictional city in the mountains to haul supplies as the area has been ravaged w/ earthquakes. Utter carnage happens for the next 10 or so minutes as many miniatures are wrecked by fire, explosions, a mudslide, and a big-ass earthquake. The flight back is a rescue mission as people are hauled out but the plane is damaged during takeoff, leading to a moment or two that is probably far-fetched, but I'm sure it's par for the course in the Western disaster films of the time. The miniature work looks good compared to what was shown in 70's Hollywood films.

As long as you can be amused at the melodrama before the special effects happen, it's worthy of viewing for those that dig the subgenre; the drama does stress the point of how great pilots can have a much more difficult time when they're on the ground. Thus, that's why I was invested in a Communist version of a familiar tale-although there being some cursing and even a topless woman in one scene was quite the surprise.

Airport

Airport (1970)

Runtime: 137 minutes

Directed by: George Seaton... and Henry Hathaway; the latter directed a few outdoor scenes

Starring: Burt Lancaster, Dean Martin, George Kennedy, Jacqueline Bisset, Jean Seburg, Helen Hayes

From: Universal

While this is a movie I mainly watched due to it being related to something else I plan on seeing soon, I have all four movies in this series on DVD (purchased for dirt cheap at a used store) and will eventually see all of those on my portable Blu-ray player. As a little kid I actually saw The Concorde... Airport '79 but I'll talk about it when that is revisited later in the year. Based on a best-selling novel, this was nominated for Best Picture which does seem a little silly, although Helen Hayes winning an Oscar for her role I won't carp about as her nice old lady character who happens to be a charming gal that is a stowaway on flights so she can visit her daughter cross-country... it was the most memorable character.

This shows one long night at an airport in Illinois where Burt Lancaster is the general manager and what a thankless job it is. Almost everyone he deals with has their own complaints, and because the hours are irregular his life at home is in shambles. There's a snowstorm that has a plane stuck on a runway... oh, and because Van Heflin (playing a character w/ the surname Guerrero... that's actually addressed and it is not as preposterous as it first sounds) is struggling w/ his mental health and can't hold a job, he wants to become a SUICIDE BOMBER so when he blows up a plane his wife can get the insurance money. Yeah, the movie also addresses how that plan wouldn't have worked anyhow.

For all the melodrama present-Dean Martin is openly having an affair w/ Jacqueline Bisset-the actual drama surrounding the bombing attempt was captivating to me as that was well-done, including the practical effects. This series always had tremendous casts so the lineup here definitely helped: Lancaster, Martin, Hayes, Jean Seberg, Bisset, Heflin, Maureen Stapleton, Lloyd Nolan and Barry Nelson, all of their talents helped elevate this material. The movie spawned an entire subgenre of the disaster film-such movies were around for decades but this was such a box office success, the decade was filled with theatrical and even television movies that ranged from worthwhile (The Towering Inferno) to dreck (The Swarm-shudders) which had all-star casts. Some of them were even like this movie in featuring multiple middle-aged men having mistresses young enough to be their daughters.

I know I would love for such a thing to return this decade-big budget blockbusters that has a cavalcade of high-priced talents-yet I get why it wouldn't happen for a variety of reasons. It'd be nice, as among other things I also crave a return of several different split screen effects like we got here, rather than have that subgenre be astoundingly stupid schlock like Moonfall apparently was...

Robo Vampire

Robo Vampire (1988)

Runtime: 90 minutes

Directed by: The infamous Godfrey Ho, plus Vinik Pakdivijit

Starring: A bunch of random unknowns w/ fake names, plus the likes of Lak Apichat, Manop Aswathep, and Sorapong Chatree

From: Filmark International Ltd.

Yep, this is a Godfrey Ho movie, alright.

As typical, it was a messageboard discussion that led me down this path. While I had seen Mr. Ho's “work” before, that was only one random film so long ago I don't even remember its name. That person on the board mentioned seeing something called NINJA KNIGHT THUNDER FOX. Apparently that is known here on Letterboxd as Ninja Empire but Ho's filmography is a real mess so trying to figure out what's what is an impossible task best described by me as “like Sisyphus trying to push that boulder up the mountain.” The reason why Ho's movies are infamous: not always but often he “borrowed” footage from other Asian movies and he combined it with footage he shot on his own, nevermind the footage not having anything to do w/ each other, let alone it even looking alike.

This is one of Godfrey Ho's most well-known efforts; Robo Vampire must be a distinctive title.. for me it is at least. This uses footage from the 1984 Thai picture Paa Lohgan, where a woman undercover is captured by drug dealers so a motley crew has to recuse her. That is spliced into a bizarre fever dream that Ho filmed, where a dude is killed so he becomes a ripoff of RoboCop... wearing an outfit that looks as if your child made a RoboCop outfit for school! He does battle against heels who use Jiangshi (commonly known in the West as “Chinese hopping vampires”) to transport drugs-no, really-and in a decision best described as “demented”, one of the Jiangshi not only has a gorilla's head for Lord knows what reason, but also a dead Caucasian woman who is now “a white ghost” and for part of the finale she's topless!

It should go without saying that the end product was not only incoherent but also a bizarre acid-trip into madness. Be that as it may, I also was amused enough by all the gunfire, explosions, insanity and RoboCop vs. vampire action to say it was OK. As strange as Godfrey Ho's typical movie was, this formula was successful enough to where he has at least a few dozen credits to his name. After all, the footage he filmed alone was inserted into multiple films-poor Richard Harrison did a bunch of European movies way back when but once he did a few films for Ho, that footage was spliced into so much that his reputation was sullied and he was forced to retire. Judging Robo Vampire on its own “merits”, the movie is alright. Those that love such low-budget fare, it's a must-see and thankfully for everyone the movie is easy to find on YouTube.

In The Heat Of The Night

In the Heat of the Night (1967)

Runtime: 110 minutes

Directed by: Norman Jewison

Starring: Sidney Poitier, Rod Steiger, Warren Oates, Lee Grant, Larry Gates

From: United Artists

Finally I can say “RIP Sidney Poitier”. It taking me over a month is admittedly not great on my part for a legendary performer like him who was the first Black person to win an Academy Award for Best Actor among many other accomplishments & accolades. Then again, watching this during Black History Month when it played on Turner Classic Movies this past evening was not a bad time for me to talk about an actor/director whose most popular movie (at least on Letterboxd) was this. I never watched the TV series that was loosely based on the movie but is something I remember from it being on network TV then the reruns in syndication that probably are still on the air today.

It may sound simple at first: Virgil Tibbs is a Black detective from Philadelphia who ends up in Sparta, Mississippi and mainly because of color he was initially accused of murdering a wealthy industrialist. Due to circumstances the prejudicial police department in a town with little tolerance have to work with Tibbs on the case. Of course there are red herrings and false leads; the actual mystery is not the most complex although that is not a complaint as it was not only interesting, it made this a Southern Gothic story set in a seedy little town where-among other things-teenage pregnancy and voyeurism of a 16 year old girl takes place. “Heat” is an appropriate word as multiple scenes are rather sweaty.

What a compelling tale this was; what quality performances from Poitier, Rod Steiger as the constant gum-chewing Sheriff (he won an Oscar for his performance) Warren Oates as another police officer and Lee Grant as the murdered man's widow. It does have a boss soundtrack from Quincy Jones, angry and in your face which is appropriate for the anti-racist message of this movie while at the same time fitting of the Mississippi setting.

This also won Best Picture at the Oscars; without having watched all of the other nominees, I won't find fault with it getting the nod. Regrettably, the world presented in this movie of the South was true to life. There is a real life Sparta, Mississippi but most of it was actually filmed in the Northern town of Sparta, Illinois. Without knowing the details, the KKK almost killed Poitier and Harry Belafonte in Mississippi so filming in the state was out of the question. Some scenes had to be done in Tennessee and racist thugs did threaten his life... as a key subplot of this movie involves a mob looking to kill him, I was glad this movie was able to present a Black man as a hero despite having to do his job in such a prejudicial area or the relationship between he and the Sheriff changing throughout the film.

Thus, this was a great way for me to finally tip my cap to a legend.

Ring 2

Ring 2 (1999)

Runtime: 95 minutes

Directed by: Hideo Nakata

Starring: Miki Nakatani, Hitomi Sato, Kyoko Fukada, Fumiyo Kohinata, Kenjiro Ishimaru

From: Several different Japanese companies

At least I did not see the new Texas Chainsaw Massacre last night. Already, plenty of mutuals on Letterboxd have checked that out and shock of shocks, a movie that changed directors a week into filming and presented “Try anything and you're canceled, bro!” is almost universally reviled. This in comparison is a lot more interesting. Halloween season 2020 I finally saw the original Ring and found it to be very good, a creepy tale about a cursed videotape and the cruel fate of poor Sadako. I hadn't seen any of its sequels until last night; that includes Spiral, the first sequel they filmed that was released concurrently w/ Ring but was strongly disliked so that was taken out of canon and replaced w/ this. I do know this franchise has had many sequels of variable quality, which makes it a typical franchise. Sadako is still such a popular character that she is in the Dead by Daylight videogame so I'm expecting an announcement of her appearing in a new movie at any time in the near future.

As for Ring 2, I understand why that received a reception that was only a little less frosty. It was more focused on the mythology-and even at times science-than the scares of a ghost girl killing foolish SOB's that watch the cursed videotape. While those feeling disappointed won't be chastised by me, personally I was always invested in the tale even if I can admit that the pacing seemed a little languid at times. Several of the characters from the original appear again (Mai, Masami, Yoichi, and some other very familiar faces) and most importantly to me, there are some moments haunting as hell and a few creepy-ass scenes. That helps make up for me thinking, “Hey, wait a minute now” on several occasions.

Having simultaneous storylines (Mai continuing her professor's research while Reiko's journalist coworkers pick up where she left off) also was intriguing to me even if the overall plot wasn't as strong as in the original. From hearsay I know the entries in this franchise after 2000 are especially questionable—who knows if any of those will be seen but to my relief I felt satisfied after watching this first “official” sequel.

Charlie Chan At The Olympics

Charlie Chan at the Olympics (1937)

Runtime: 71 minutes

Directed by: The tremendously named H. Bruce Humberstone

Starring: Warner Oland, Katherine DeMille, Pauline Moore, Allan Lane, Keye Luke

From: 20^th Century Fox

Or: At least this movie wasn't a fiasco like the women's figure skating competition was.

I've mostly enjoyed watching the 2022 Winter Olympics, whether it be on television (although the constant commercial breaks are brutal. For practically all the 21st century I've complained about how bad this problem is in the United States-even when people didn't want to listen and admit I was right) or via Peacock. However, the entire week involving that competition was a real circus and of course it'd result in most people not being happy once it concluded. I know, not a stunning revelation that figure skating is a corrupt dirty sport...

On a happier note, I saw a Charlie Chan movie for the first time since '14, when his entries from London and Paris were viewed. Of course it's a stereotypical character who has many “wise sayings” and is played by a Swedish actor, but even then they were fine mysteries which worked as B-movies. This was more of the same. His son Keye Luke happens to be an Olympic swimmer and is competing in the Berlin games. What a shock then that a mystery involving a “robut” takes Charlie to said same games. Actually, it's a “robot”... no wait, it's a magical MacGuffin which allows for “airplanes to be controlled by radio waves”. All of that is hokum yet I went along for the ride as this magical mystery tour involves the expected twists & turns, red herrings and child comic relief... OK that isn't too common. That small tyke is only around for the first act if you don't like small child performers.

What this movie went out of its way to do: avoid mentioning or showing the German chancellor at the time, not to mention certain symbols. Those worried about seeing a damn swastika in this movie don't have to worry there. Of course this is still awkward after the fact as not only was Pearl Harbor mentioned as a Naval base (the first act is set in Hawaii, which is canon to the Chan character), but he flies to Berlin on... the Hindenburg. From what I understand the movie happened to be released right after the Hindenburg Disaster, which yikes.

This was a perfectly fine B-movie mystery from the Golden Age of Hollywood. Not a must-see but an amusing way to spend 71 minutes. The fact that some actual footage of the Berlin Olympics (including the 4x100 meter track race involving Jesse Owens that the United States earned a gold medal in) was shown adds to the authenticity. I did note how at the end when Luke won a race, it was vague on whether it was the final race for the medals or just a heat. I'll presume the latter as I hope the movie wasn't haughty enough to change history and suggest that Charlie's son won the grand prize rather than the actual victor, Hungarian swimmer Ferenc Csik.

Fateful Findings

Fateful Findings (2013)

Runtime: 100 mystifying minutes

Directed by: Neil Breen

Starring: Breen and a bunch of other obvious non-actors... most of them, at least

From: Neil Breen himself

On a busy day where this has to be posted early, what a 2,500th entry on Letterboxd for me to talk about!

That's right, I've reviewed 2,500 mostly movies here, but that also includes some shorts and cartoons. For having known of the madman known as Neil Breen, last night was the first time I had seen anything from this architect slash amateur filmmaker. It seems that for as long as there's been motion pictures there have been DIY productions, filmmakers who are off the grid and try their hardest to present legitimate productions and once in awhile the results are OK but it seems that usually the end product is something like The Room or Birdemic. He's made five motion pictures so far and from hearsay I know that like Fateful Findings, they are all comparable to something like The Room or Birdemic.

Breen certainly tries yet the entire experience was rather mystifying. Not only is the acting, editing, dialogue and plot progression all questionable if I am being at my most charitable, but I know that this is all like his other films in wish fulfillment; Old Neil just loves to play someone w/ superhuman powers who fights against corruption. In Fateful Findings, Dylan is your everyday computer scientist/novelist (or as he likes to say, “novel writer”) who has powers due to an odd experience as a child w/ a gal named Leah who soon then moved away... only she has returned and he swoons, despite already having a wife-with a rather unintelligible accent-who happens to have a problem w/ painkillers. Ostensibly this is about him “hacking” the government and corporations as he wants to expose those secrets. Actually, that's really only a plot point in the finale, which is so low-rent it is absurdly hilarious. 

This is more about relationships and how a guy in his early 50's is playing much younger than his actual age as he gets to hook up with two attractive ladies. In addition, Dylan and Leah are buddies with another couple who themselves have a broken relationship... this leads to a moment that many won't care for. That couple have a stepdaughter who looks like she's 18 or 19... OF COURSE she has the hots for Dylan! Regrettably, I have to note that this is “typical guy behavior”. At first the story isn't so bad, although the acting and editing are. Then the further this progresses, the further it delves into lunacy and randomness the viewer attempts to piece together but typically we as the viewer are left out in the weeds. There is no shortage of inexplicable moments, the keystone highlight there being a scene involving salad-even if I tried to explain it, I couldn't.

Many directors have their motifs; this ranges from Tarantino and Hitchcock to Doris Wishman and probably even Coleman Francis. It appears as if Breen falls in the same category. Hopefully his other four pictures include the following: 

* Abuse of books
* Abuse of laptops
* Bewildering salad scenes
* Shots of feet... specifically shoes. He's not QT
* Showing off the wealth you have, like your mansion or your old Ferrari
* Most prominently, lines of dialogue that are either repeated a few seconds later or is repeated with a synonym changing one word. It happens a LOT

Like with the legendary DIY bad 21st century films I've already mentioned, Fateful Findings is something better seen than described. If you love such things then it is well worth a watch... one day far in the future his other work will be seen by me. Thankfully this is a half star motion picture like Birdemic or The Room in that it provides entertainment value, rather than bottom of the barrel travesties like Hatchet III or Loqueesha that is an agonizing experience I struggled to finish.

 

Dog Day Afternoon

Dog Day Afternoon (1975)

Runtime: 125 minutes

Directed by: Sidney Lumet

Starring: Al Pacino, John Cazale, Charles Durning, Chris Sarandon, Penelope Allen

From: Warner Bros.

This reminded me that I should do a deeper dive on Elton John's back catalog... not to mention Sidney Lumet's filmography. Concerning the former, that is because I mainly only know his big hits (which I like) and the movie's opening credits scene is set to his song Amorenna, from the 1970 album Tumbleweed Connection-and it's a quality tune. It sets the mood as various images from New York City are shown. From there, it's a story which I would say was on the preposterous side—except that it's based on actual events.

While of course the leads are painted in a more sympathetic light than in real life, John Wojtowicz and Salvatore Naturile did attempt in 1972 to rob a Chase Manhattan bank in Brooklyn only for it to go awry, a hostage situation developed, and both the hostages & the crowd outside actually take the side of the robbers. There's also the LGBTQ+ factor in that John's lover was trans and identified as female but the cash was to go to her gender reassignment surgery. Thankfully this movie handled that aspect in a mostly tasteful and not offensive manner. The negative opinions heard about their sexual proclivities were sadly typical of those less-enlightened times. Of course such a wild tale would be the basis for a motion picture adaptation.

It was no surprise to me that Dog Day Afternoon was a great movie. The director being a legend and the leads being Al Pacino & John Cazale goes a long way but so does a story which is multi-layered and in part is about the fiasco that was the media attention surrounding the hostage crises. The rest of the cast were solid themselves, whether they be familiar to me (like Charles Durning and Chris Sarandon) or off-Broadway actors that Pacino knew from his days before he went to Hollywood. It's one hell of an intelligent story filled with interesting characters and was the sort of serious thought-provoking cinema you could only get from Hollywood in the 70's. This was 2 hours of intensity, a journey that at first had chuckles as the robbery attempt went bad due to their ineptitude... before gradually turning into something far more sobering.

It is one of the best movies from a great director and is the sort of motion picture I can recommend to anyone/everyone here.

Ghostbusters II

Ghostbusters II (1989)

Runtime: 108 minutes

Directed by: Ivan Reitman (RIP)

Starring: The expected crew plus the likes of Peter MacNicol and the greatly named Wilhelm von Homburg

From: Columbia

RIP Ivan Reitman. Throughout my life I've seen various movies that he was involved with-albeit a long time ago so they haven't been reviewed here. That's including this movie, which I did see theatrically as an 8 year old and afterwards at home, but I don't even remember the last time it was so long ago. Unfortunately it took the director passing away for me to finally experience again a movie I recalled as being disappointing compared to the first. Early on, I realized it was OK that I did not see anything related to Valentine's Day last night... that was because of the second psychic on Peter Venkman's talk show mentioning that the world would end on “February 14, 2016”. I went “Huh... how about that?”

That still holds true-while there had to be reshoots done months after filming (mainly of the climax, which does explain some “wait a minute” moments with that but to be honest, the usage of an iconic monument connected to New York City was goofy to me even as a kid and that hasn't changed) and the movie is just like Afterlife in retreading the familiar ground of the original's plot, I'll still say the movie is good.

After all, it seems like the majority of sequels can't even be good enough to be rated as “fine”. While a cashgrab done by Columbia Pictures because they hadn't had a box office hit in a long while, thankfully this provided enough entertainment for me as there's another supernatural baddie looking to take over the world (this time it's a haunted painting of an evil Carpathian ruler, which is at least inspired, as is the “river of slime” concept) and all the familiar characters returning are the same as you remember them from the first movie. There are still laughs present-the quantity of same just isn't as plentiful. Thank heavens there are still some nice sequences and the effects mostly have not aged badly.

There were some things I did not remember after all those years. This includes: 

* Janice suddenly turning horny for Louis

* Cheech Marin showing up for about half a minute of screentime

* A key plot point being “New York City's a rotten place full of A-holes”. That did make me laugh. While I presume its reputation as a dirty city isn't as strong due in part to Times Square being cleaned up, the attitude of its residents is another story altogether!

I won't be cynical about its underlying message of how people should just be nicer and more positive to each other. It's an earnest idea that has not lost its relevancy since. Above all else, this movie made me realize the good times I've had watching movies that involved the likes of Reitman, Harold Ramis and/or Rick Moranis. It was a nice trip down memory lane as I tipped my cap to someone that did entertain me as a kid.

 

I Revisited Robowar

Yes, it's a 1989 Italian movie which is on the wacky side. I wrote about it a decade ago and my opinion hasn't changed since getting to see it in HD on Arrow's streaming site.

Death On The Nile

Death on the Nile (2022)

66% on Rotten Tomatoes (out of 185 reviews)

Runtime: 127 minutes

Directed by: Kenneth Branagh

Starring: Sir Kenneth and an all star cast, some of whom got in hot water between the time this was filmed and it was released

From: 20^th Century Studios... I'll probably never get used to the “studios” part

Featuring a mustache origin story.

The main reason I saw this: Sir Kenneth's first turn as Hercule Poirot was watched by me theatrically back in late '17 and I found it to be fine-although the '74 version of Murder on the Orient Express I prefer-so might as well see this. My opinion on the story won't be colored by the novel nor the '78 movie as I haven't experienced either. Plus, we've literally seen trailers for the movie for a few years now. What a nightmare for the star/director & the studio that this was filmed in '19 and because of the delays mainly due to the plague, since then one of the stars voiced her opinion on the whole Israel/Pakistan conflict that made many people unhappy, two others are apparently “anti-vaxx”, and then there's Armie Hammer's WTF downfall... the whole cannibal thing inspires many people to unleash one-liners but his alleged crimes are still quite grievous. At least the director/star can focus on publicizing Belfast.

The drama involving some of the actors did not color my opinion of this mystery tale, mainly sat on a riverboat traveling down the Nile River in Egypt. A rich heiress elopes with a man she barely knows (how unfortunate for the movie that Hammer is the one who plays this key role), their honeymoon is in the land of the pharaohs, his ex becomes a stalker, and various people who have had issues with the heiress happens to be on the ship. The detective interviews the suspects after one death occurs, and after a few more murders his grand deduction is revealed. Personally, your opinion of Branagh's first go-around in the role will more likely than not be the same for this sophomore effort.

There are many famous faces in this cast; some performances are better than others. Aside from the star, the most impressive turns for me came from Annette Bening, Emma Mackey, Tom Bateman and Sophie Okonedo. No complaints from me about this being good instead of great as it was an interesting mystery which of course is a twisty tale, the Egyptian setting is exotic, and as Okonedo plays a jazz singer, a few genre songs are heard throughout—believe it or not, there's no version of Depeche Mode's Policy of Truth. Disney likely being relieved they can finally put this out before someone else in the cast causes everyone embarrassment should not affect you checking this out in the future if you dig the classic mystery films of old.

Believe it or not, this actually has a mustache origin story, which has to be a first for me. Believe it or not, that is responsible for character development so that wasn't done just for bonkers reasons.

12 Monkeys

12 Monkeys (1995)

Runtime: 129 minutes

Directed by: Terry Gilliam

Starring: Bruce Willis, Madeleine Stowe, Brad Pitt, Christopher Plummer, David Morse

From: Universal

I am catching up; I neglected to post this review a few days ago-my bad. As Bruce Willis is now a hot topic...

This will be a slightly different review from me. However, it has to happen as I'll elaborate upon why there was no review from me on Tuesday and why I felt “Blah”. Early on Monday, the Razzies (which have always been absolutely worthless, but that's another topic for another time) announced that this year, they have a “Worst Performance by Bruce Willis in a 2021 Movie” category that has EIGHT nominations. Sure, it's a shame that Old Bruce is now known for appearing on set for only one or two days a shoot on each terrible low-budget film he does now, delivering a performance best described as “comatose”. Then, I start seeing scuttlebutt concerning his health... as someone as notable as Nathan Rabin referenced it in a new series he's doing on the Willis movies of '21-that poor fool-let's just say the rumor is “memory loss”. Further details can be found via a careful Google search. That said, the only sources are “a gossip rag magazine” and hearsay on messageboards; I need far more conclusive proof to be convinced this is the rock solid truth. It may just be poppycock that someone came up with to explain his performances, the easy paychecks, and him wearing earpieces on set so someone can tell him his lines. In the best case scenario, it is sad that there is now gossip to explain the career choices of Mr. Willis, and I'll leave it at that.

Thus, I decided to review one of his more famous movies for the first time; that is even though the topic of the motion picture was rather dour at the time and the past two years, the idea of “a virus has wiped out most of humanity” has an even more bitter resonance. Of course, some people probably divorced from reality have a conspiracy theory concerning the origin of The Black Plague we have now... anyhow, I was wanting to see Willis deliver a quality performance and he did so here in this tale. Presumably many are familiar w/ the plot of how a prisoner in a hellscape of 2035 (where because of the virus all the survivors live underground) is sent back in time to investigate the origins of the virus so I won't dwell on that or what the lead experiences while sleuthing in the 90's.

Overall this was very good. What a bold story, a film loosely based on the French short film classic from the 1960's La Jetee. It was the type of story that seemingly could only be brought to life by Terry Gilliam, even if for once he did not write the script. For certain, his unique style and production design are all over this; at times I was reminded of Brazil—thank goodness that the experience making this was far better than the last time he made something released by Universal... it was a solid cast overall, with Willis, Madeleine Stowe and especially Brad Pitt standing out the most. At first, at least one element had me going, “WTF?” then only later did it make more sense. It was quite the nonlinear journey, filled w/ Hitchcock allusions I understand were also a key element of Jetee. Thankfully the production was relatively smooth, at least by Gilliam standards as the majority of them seemed to be so cursed you wondered if someone had placed a hex on him.

The Queen of Black Magic

The Queen of Black Magic (Ratu Ilmu Hitam) (1981)

Runtime: 90 minutes

Directed by: Liliek Sudjio

Starring: Suzzanna, W.D. Mochtar, Teddy Purba, Sofia W.D., Alan Nuary

From: Rapi Films

This be a typical Indonesian movie... meaning it be wildin' out.

For awhile now I've known of this movie and as the films of the country either have excellent action scenes (like The Raid) or are filled with bizarre over the top moments. After all, I've watched The Stabilizer, Mystics in Bali and Lady Terminator. Like Satan's Slave, this was also remade in the past few years. As I've seen both originals, the new versions need the same treatment from me.

The plot sounds simple enough: black magic happens and an SOB blames young lady Murni for this chicanery. You see, Murni used to date the SOB but he dumped her. The people in the tiny rural village throw her off a cliff, only to be saved by a shaman, who convinces her to actually be a practitioner of black magic. She gets her revenge in memorable fashion, killing villagers in unique ways that include bees, sentient scarf hanging and a death you might expect to see in a Fulci movie—although I presume that a Fulci movie never had a disembodied flying head as a threat. That's actually a trope I've seen in other Southeast Asian/Hong Kong horror pictures.

I could carp about some things but overall I was entertained by this 90 minutes of wackiness, which has a story that at first sounds basic but later you discover is more complex and layered, with messages about mob rule, the Muslim faith (I'll presume now that is a trope in at least some of the country's horror films) and “damn the patriarchy!” Even more unexpected is some arty shots/moments. Whether or not this is actually based on any sort of Indonesian folklore concerning the dark arts, this was a fun yarn filled with some unique kills where the story was more than a rote revenge tale and it was a fascinating look at what life is like in the rural area of an exotic country, at least if it's being haunted by magic. Also, what a leading turn from a lady famous for her genre efforts in the area, Suzzanna. The remake of this deviates quite a bit from the original tale (I don't like the term “reimagining” but that's the easiest way to describe the phenomenon) so I hope to have as good a time with that as this effort that is on Shudder.

Blacklight

Blacklight (2022)

3% on Rotten Tomatoes (out of 62 reviews and yes, only 3 percent)

Runtime: 108 minutes

Directed by: Mark Williams

Starring: Liam Neeson, Aidan Quinn, Emmy Raver-Lampman, Taylor John Smith, Claire van der Boom

From: Quite a few production companies... including one in China

Just like a typical Liam Neeson Old Man Action movie-except worse.

I've seen the last few movies in that category and the one which was better than just “fine” was Cold Pursuit, which to my surprise was a remake that copied its original film In Order of Disappearance rather closely; as it was a quirky black comedy it is a polarizing motion picture. Other than that the movies seem rote and safe yet are acceptable. While not as good as Taken at least they weren't dreck like the two Taken sequels. This... it's more like a Taken sequel except not quite as putrid.

After all, Travis Block-yes, that's his name-might as well be Bryan Mills—if Bryan Mills had OCD and a bad relationship with his daughter. OK, the latter part is not too dissimilar from Taken but here the daughter is old enough to have a toddler daughter of her own. The plot is totally unimaginative; get this: the FBI is a corrupt organization that is killing innocent American civilians to maintain power & Block is upset at the actions of the group that he is employed w/ off the books. The inclusion of “millennial speak”, a politician in the opening 10 minutes that was obviously based on AOC and the lead woman being a Black female did not magically make this rote film feel fresh.

I understand that the pandemic hampered this production; it was not as large as originally planned and it had to be done in Australia (which was not always successful at presenting a setting of Washington D.C.). Even then, this was a humdrum slapdash affair which was mostly forgettable. The cast was fine overall yet the story was not and action did not rise about “acceptable”. Block drives a new Dodge Challenger, which is perhaps surprising given his “deep cover” roles he has to take-the only inspired bit of action was a chase done between that and a... garbage truck. Even that was only OK and not as epic as it could have been. If this had been a more “normal” production hopefully the ending would not have been presented as a totally “meh” and cheap-feeling affair.

There are a number of similar-feeling Neeson movies where he plays a similar character and those are more worthy of your time than this movie that you likely will forget soon after you leave the cineplex.

Silent Running

Silent Running (1972)

Runtime: 89 minutes

Directed by: Douglas Trumbull (RIP)

Starring: Bruce Dern, Cliff Potts, Ron Rifkin, Jesse Vint

From: Universal

RIP Douglas Trumbull

Originally I was going to watch and review something else-a topic relevant this week-then I heard the sad news that Mr. Trumbull has passed away. While he sadly did not work on that many motion pictures, look at the ones he did: 2001, Blade Runner, The Andromeda Strain, Close Encounters of the Third Kind, Star Trek: The Motion Picture, The Tree of Life. I've been lucky enough to see most of those theatrically in revival screenings, where the special effects were a delight. I've seen Brainstorm before; it was an interesting movie marred by the real life death of Natalie Wood. He left Hollywood and mostly stayed away due to that and the innovative Showscan system not taking off. He came up with 60 frames per second high frame rate at least 40 years ago! That done on 70mm film would have been awesome. He always came up with innovations while doing motion simulation rides at random places, most notably Back to the Future The Ride at Universal Studios theme parks.

While I plan on tomorrow's review to be another long one concerning two downbeat science fiction movies that paint a grim picture of the future which is not completely out of the realm of real life possibility, it only made sense for me to see the other motion picture he directed-an opportunity he had due to the success of Andromeda. The film's plot did intrigue: it's sometime in the future and a quartet of men are shown on a space ship. Earth has “no disease and little poverty” yet there's no nature of any sort so not a great trade-off for me personally. Bruce Dern plays Lowell, a botanist (who you later see also has enough computer skill to write his own programs... and also what looks like fixing his own boge wires) who takes care of the only flora & fauna in the entire universe in biospheres. Suddenly, those “in power” want said flora & fauna destroyed—Lowell does not take this news well...

At first the movie does seem stereotypical; Old Bruce does go all bug-eyed yelling at the other three, who are shown to be quite different from him and the movie paints them as ignorant goofballs. Note that his actions do NOT mean that I otherwise support eco-terrorism! Yet as the plot progresses, you realize that Lowell is a three dimensional character who has to deal with the ramifications of his actions and he goes through a whole range of emotions. Thankfully Bruce Dern was-and is-talented enough to pull off such a role. While low budget and thus the effects aren't spectacular such as in 2001 or Blade Runner, the miniatures they use are charming and it has a rather interesting score from Peter Schickele, who some people would know for producing parody classical music under the pseudonym P.D.Q. Bach. Yes, there is such a thing; the score for Silent Running does not involve any parody elements, to make clear. There are also “drones”, which are actually stout bipedal robots.

It's a thought-provoking jam which-while not subtle-was a compelling 90 minute watch where its low budget was not a hindrance as it was more about the characters; for various reasons you wouldn't expect a major studio release like this half a century later. For me, the most surprising aspect was not Dern sometimes doing work while wearing what looks like an off-white bathrobe, nor even the two hippy-dippy songs from Joan Baez. Rather, it was seeing that two of the writers of this screenplay were prolific TV writer/producer Steven Bochco and Michael Cimino. While not as surprising as Cimino and John Milius coming up with Magnum Force, it was still an opening credits shock for me.

Yes, Another Documentary For Me

This time it was 2019's In Search of the Last Action Heroes:

It was not the plan to see several documentaries in a short amount of time, but... it'll be the last one I do, at least for the next week or so. As someone born in 1981, naturally I have a strong affinity for the action movies of the 80's and 90's, whether it be the big budget R-rated epics or the lower budget efforts. My childhood & my tastes will factor into me rating this high.

The documentary is a crowdfunded effort (all the contributors were listed in the end credits, so that's why they were over 12 minutes long and featured interview outtakes) where the only big name from the era-at least in front of the camera-that was interviewed was Cynthia Rothrock, although Paul Verhoeven was another nice get. The format was standard: movies w/ action before the 80's were discussed for a bit then all the talking heads bring up all the great stars (Arnold, Sly, Jackie Chan, Van Damme, Norris, etc.), the movies of John Woo, the classic films (The Terminator, Aliens, Die Hard, RoboCop, Predator, Lethal Weapon, etc.) and some other topics.

It was still nice that they had plenty of names if you enjoy the A and B movies in the genre back then-Vernon Wells, Al Leong, Matthias Hues, Ronny Cox, composers like Brad Fiedel, directors like Rambo III's Peter MacDonald, writers like Shane Black, & guys that should be modern action stars like Michael Jai White/Scott Adkins, among others. For an expert like me I did not learn too much new but for those less familiar hopefully they'll learn quite a bit, or at the very least have the desire to check out some bitchin' movies from this time period they haven't viewed before. It was a nice love letter to an era I miss & wish did not go away long ago. At least there are still films that I need to review here or haven't even experienced before.

Oh, and I know the producers-not the director-were also involved in In Search of Darkness, the 4 hour plus documentary on 80's horror I need to watch later in the year-it being over 4 hours is the reason why I haven't pressed “play” on the stream yet.

IX Olympic Winter Games, Innsbruck 1964

Yep, I returned to the world of watching Olympic Films. This one-imaginatively titled-was about the 1964 Winter Games in Austria.

Yep, I saw this in part to acknowledge the beginning of the 2022 Winter Olympics. I'll watch those even though they are being held in Beijing and I am no fan of the Chinese government—note that I said “Chinese government” and not “Chinese people”. The desire for me to see action in such disciplines as downhill skiing, luge and bobsled done by innocent athletes from around the world is just too strong... moving on from a hot-button topic, I was interested in checking out the '64 Winter Olympics from the gorgeous Innsbruck, Austria.

It was largely what I expected from having seen a few of these from a similar time period: amusing narration that unfortunately at times delves into “casual sexism”, footage from the events-as a mutual noted, not even the shortest events are immune from being edited, which is a shame-a look at the area itself/its residents, getting to see the athletes in the Olympic Village eating food or otherwise hanging out, etc. This has the bonus of brief scenes where among other things, we get to see then-new technology used to cover the races, how blind draws are done to determine the order of competitors in certain competitions & there are some graphics/camera tricks used to show what lines the luge or skiing competitors should use as taking the wrong path literally could cost them a medal. 

While I wish it could have been longer than 90 minutes (which may have alleviated the concerns of editing, although maybe there were other reasons why) and there's barely any of the opening or closing ceremonies, overall I'll be kind and say it was pretty good. It's not even my favorite one of the Winter Olympic films I've seen from around this time, but it was interesting enough for me. There isn't much else to say about this, besides there being yodeling at one point; while I know that won't be heard in the '22 games I'll enjoy watching them the next two weeks.

When We Were Kings

Black History Month seemed to be the best month to revisit a 1996 documentary I hadn't viewed in 20 some odd years. While I am not the biggest boxing fan, what a fascinating story this was that was perfect for it being chronicled: former World Heavyweight Champion Muhammad Ali tries to regain a title he only lost because he went to prison for refusing to be drafted into military service, vs. George Foreman... at the time not the cuddly sort who sold grills to people but rather was a ferocious champion that steamrolled other great fighters... and the setting was what was known then as Zaire and if not for injury postponing the bout a month, it would have been held alongside Zaire '74, a concert involving a killer lineup that included James Brown, B.B. King, Bill Withers, the Fania All-Stars, The Spinners, and Miriam Makeba. One day I'll finally see Soul Power, a separate documentary from '08 solely devoted to Zaire '74.

Ali was quite controversial at the time but Lord, this has the likes of Don King and of course there's the uncomfortable reality that those big events were put on by a dictator, Mobutu Sese Seko; while a few of his actions were mentioned, he did many horrid things while in power but I'll let people use Google instead of making this a downer of a review. In what was an electric atmosphere full of bizarre characters, it was of course Ali who was the most memorable with his nonstop motormouth, his braggadocios attitude and funny comments sure to entertain even those that has never cared about boxing... but he also cared about trying to help those in the Black community who were disadvantaged.

This does a great job of presenting why the whole event has become legendary, and specifically why the fight-”The Rumble in the Jungle”-is still one of the most famous boxing bouts in history. There is an easy to understand strategy, forever known as the Rope A Dope, and an electric fight in front of an estimated 60,000 people that were all rooting for the challenger. For a movie a hair under 90 minutes, this packs a LOT: the fight and the main moments from its build-up, the clips that illustrated Ali's personality/beliefs, clips from Zaire '74, footage of those that live in what is now known as The Democratic Republic of the Congo, and an overall examination of The Black Experience back at that particular moment in time.

This taking over 20 years to complete did result in several people being interviewed in the 90's to offer comments in hindsight or their experiences at the Rumble-this included the likes of journalist George Plimpton, trainers in Ali's camp & Spike Lee. Overall, I was relieved that this was as high quality a documentary as I had remembered it being.

Swordfish

Swordfish (2001)

Runtime: 99 minutes

Directed by: Dominic Sena

Starring: John Travolta & his hair piece, Hugh Jackman, Don Cheadle, Halle Berry, Halle Berry's boobs

From: Warner Bros.

At least we got some great Paul Oakenfold music out of this mess.

Finally I get to see “that scene” w/ Halle Berry! I hate to frame it that way, but back in the day when this came out, that's what this was famous for (and probably still is), not to mention people I knew personally at the time thinking the same. What is “acceptable” back then has changed-we're all different now-and none of those personal pals are movie buffs like moi. Plus, the movie definitely objectified Berry & women in general more than my friends ever did. This played last night on the HDNet Movies channel, alongside a similar computer-themed movie from around the same time that I'll review later in February as I DVR'ed that while seeing this “live”.

In the past I've mentioned how some movies from the late 90's to early 2000's have a unique vibe, look and overall style comparable to nothing else. Not to be blasphemous, but Jesus H. Christ does that ever describe this, and it has aged SO poorly, more than any other picture of its time. The smug pretentiousness mixed in with such a ludicrous story-my God. It starts right from the opening scene, where we see John Travolta wear an astounding green/black suit w/ vertical soulpatch, silly hair piece and wacky black shades as he praises Dog Day Afternoon (I agree; that will be revisited later this month; there are a few films I know I'll see in February) while-get this-bashing bad modern Hollywood movies for among other things being unrealistic. Was it irony or by accident that this is unrealistic crap w/ bad dialogue and “short-sighted directing”? That tumble down the hill alone belies the implication that Swordfish is supposed to be taken seriously. From there we got some BAD CG which dated this even worse than the fashion and the yellow filter that is over most of the movie.

If there's credit to be given-at least to my pals-they thought this movie stunk at the time and Berry being topless was the most memorable aspect. To try and give this movie credit-at least besides the unintentional laughs-was being reminded of my life back in '01, from the fashion to the tech to the music. Actually, the highlight was the music that Paul Oakenfold provided for the soundtrack; there's a traditional score also but there's also new tunes from the legendary trance DJ. Some of them I had heard before, such as his remix of Afrikka Bambattaa & The Soulsonic Force's Planet Rock. What a shame that this wastes a talented cast but when the script is from someone who was partially or fully responsible for the likes of A Good Day to Die Hard & Sabotage... what a nonsense story that is just stump-dumb.

Hell Drivers

Hell Drivers (1957)

Runtime: 108 minutes

Directed by: Cy Endfield

Starring: One hell of a cast, which I'll list below

From: The Rank Organisation/Aqua Film Productions

Turns out, Patrick McGoohan can play a real evil SOB.

Last night I returned to the DVR, viewing something recorded off of TCM last month. It played during an afternoon of related movies such as Wages of Fear. You see, the plot of this British film concerns an ex-con who joins a company that mainly hauls gravel in dump trucks to various sites. It's an employer of no scruples... I mean, the drivers are actually encouraged to break every rule on the road & drive fast on what look like bad rural roads for the purpose of more delivers. The foreman is Red, a “gentleman” who is the alpha male of the gang, psychotic, almost always has a cigarette in his mouth-at least when he's not drinking a bottle of Guinness while driving on the job-and has a prize of a gold cigarette case to anyone who can make more deliveries than him, which is an honor he earns each day.

It was pretty good overall, but holy crap look at the cast:

Stanley Baker
Herbert Lom
Peggy Cummins
McGoohan as Red
The first Doctor Who, i.e. William Hartnell
Jill Ireland
David McCallum
Sid James
In one of his first roles, Sean Connery

A nice lineup, especially considering that a decent number of them found far greater fame in the years after this was released. They are a tight-knit group, and unfortunately are willing to turn on one of their own if their leader thinks that this person is “a yellow belly.”, a coward in other words.

Now, there's a romance angle which seems shoehorned in but otherwise I can't really carp. It had nice drama, villains that are easy to hiss at, some brawls, truckers that were as uncouth as the stereotype is of them in America, and action where big trucks drive real fast & almost crash into everything. If this sounds like a ride you'd love to be on... actually there are ways to see it illegally but it'd be preferable if there are more legal streaming options in the United States.

I Saw Another Shudder Documentary

This time it was 2021's Boris Karloff: The Man Behind the Monster: 

Very good, especially for a documentary I only heard of when it dropped on Shudder a few days ago. As I've seen a decent amount of films in my lifetime featuring Boris Karloff yet only knew a small amount of his life story, a 99 minute piece about his life was exactly what I needed.

It's for the most part standard fare. Many clips of him are shown, whether it's in cinema or on television, augmented by many photographs. Various experts discuss his career, typically a famous person in the industry. This included the likes of: Bogdanovich, Dick Miller (which reveals that this has been in the works for the past several years), Corman, del Toro, Perlman, Joe Dante, the controversial John Landis, and the one child of Boris, his daughter Sara. The backdrops of these interviews are sometimes greenscreened and they always had cheesy backdrops but otherwise it was definitely informative.

For those that wish to know more about a famous star from the past that had a resurgence of popularity later in life, this is well worth seeing. After all-while it at first discusses his early 30's success before circling back to his early life; otherwise this is told chronologically-such topics as his mixed heritage is broached. Many people probably don't realize that via both his parents, he has some Indian blood in him. Rarely if ever do I hear talk of him having South Asian roots, which is why he always had a dark complexion. What a life he led, and it's not a surprise he is still rather famous in 2022. Anyhow, this is another nice documentary that is available on Shudder-along with other platforms if you're not subscribed to that.

American Ninja

American Ninja (1985)

Runtime: 95 minutes

Directed by: Sam Firstenberg

Starring: Michael Dudikoff, Steve James, Judie Aronson, John Fujioka, the greatly named Guich Koock

From: Cannon

Goofy schlock... but at least it's also entertaining schlock.

This was another watch on Prime for me; I had seen American Ninja before, albeit long ago. Even at the time I found it to be rather absurd, trying to believe that Michael Dudikoff was trained as a kid by a Japanese adopted father in the ways of the Ninjutsu and due to circumstances, he's in the Army as his only other option was jail... it is easy for me to scoff as many aspects of this Golan-Globus production, but I won't.

The Duikoff plays the titular American Ninja, serving in the Philippines and he happens to stumble upon an insidious plot-which involves members of the military-to do an 80's movie task and that is ship contraband, in this case missiles. Of course there's a colonel's daughter who is quite attractive because she's played by Judie Aronson (who is still quite attractive in 2022) and of course at first she doesn't like him despite him literally saving her life, until suddenly she falls for him. That is cliché nonsense, but I don't fault the performers for me rolling my eyes at it. After all, years after the fact, Dudikoff stated that for part of the shoot, he had malaria... holy cow.

As easy as it is to nitpick, there are some great unintentional laughs to go along with the acceptable action scenes and sometimes impressive stunts. The Filipino setting also sometimes provided some rather scenic views. For me, the true highlight was the character of CURTIS JACKSON, who no wasn't played by 50 Cent. Rather, it was the great Steve James; he was definitely more believable as a badass, as he was a badass. It wasn't the first time he was involved in such a scenario as the sidekick to a “bigger” name. All that said, if you enjoy silly B-action movies from the 80's, this may be like catnip for you guys.