Vanguard

Vanguard (2020)

Runtime: 107 minutes

Directed by: Stanley Tong

Starring: Jackie Chan, Yang Yang, Lun Ai, Miya Muqi, Ruohan Xu

From: I swear I am not making this up when I say that there had to be somewhere around EIGHTEEN companies that made this.

The things you see when you feel like you must use your AMC A-List app.

I heard pretty bad things about this recent release from China from a wide scope of different sources. However, as I hadn't used my AMC A-List app in a few weeks, I don't want that money that's paid to it each month to go to waste and this fit my schedule the best, that was chosen. Besides, nothing from Jackie Chan's recent China output has been seen by me; again, that has received no shortage of negative complaints from knowledgeable people.

My reaction? It isn't unwatchable dreck... it's not even the worst picture seen by myself on the big screen the past few months (I'm looking directly at you, Shortcut). But Lord is this ever stupid. “Covert security company” Vanguard-or, to steal a line someone else here made, Team China: World Police-is led by Chan; they have to guard an accountant but realized he double-crossed someone so various nefarious figures are after him so the whole gang is in several exotic locations, including Dubai, a more traditional Middle Eastern city in a location never identified, “Africa”-inferred by the movie to be “Zambia, South Africa” as if Zambia is a city or state in South Africa instead of a completely different country-and London.

The action setpieces are usually in interesting locations or are different from the norm. That does not make it worthwhile when this has plenty of rotten CG, never looking convincing. The story is both quite generic and far-fetched; several moments are shown which would even make the Fast & Furious filmmakers go, “Oh, come on now! That is preposterous!” At least I got laughs out of the dopey moments; this includes two team members & their epic bromance, a limo w/ race car physics, someone somehow surviving catastrophic damage, the African location never being clearly identified, and seeing that this was produced by what looked to be EIGHTEEN different production companies, no lie. Only a few of those had production logos shown, otherwise that would have taken a few minutes.

Of course Jackie doesn't do much action-wise; he is an old man and as it's a relief he can still walk with all he's done to his body, so no complaints with that. I can complain, though, about the quality of this nonsense.

From Corleone To Brooklyn

From Corleone to Brooklyn (Da Corleone A Brooklyn) (1979)

Runtime: 96 minutes

Directed by: Umberto Lenzi

Starring: Maurizio Merli, Mario Merola, Van Johnson, Biagio Pelligra, Laura Belli

From: Primex

A subdued poliziotteschi from Umberto Lenzi? Yes it is true. As said by me a few times before, it's been too long since seeing anything in that genre. I went to YouTube (to be honest) and a channel which has been zapped before so something was watched from there before it inevitably happens again.

While it is not the craziest poliziotteschi and more story-driven, that doesn't mean it was bad. Maurizio Merli-one of the stars of this genre-escorts someone to NYC so testify against an enemy; of course the enemy has a phalanx of bad guys to try and stop them. The one famous name from the past (which sometimes you get in this genre) is Van Johnson, as a New York City police lieutenant. The story does not get much more complicated than that, aside from Merli spending a few scenes with his ex and child. At least it was a plot competently told, even if does get a little silly by the end. In addition, it had competent action scenes, including one in one of those European rest stops which have fuel, food, and a motel.

It was filmed both in Italy and NYC; the movie does feature one of my favorite tropes from the past, which was “the crappy New York City of old.” It was indeed pretty crappy, especially with the scenes of garbage piled up on the sidewalk-obviously, yet another sanitation strike. As the director was Lenzi, he managed to fit in a sleazy scene-it involved a woman getting groped. In addition, a trope which is more esoteric for me is seeing what films are playing on the marquee whenever a motion picture shows a cineplex. In this case-and that's not even mentioning what was displayed for the X-rated joints-it included The Choirboys, The Wiz and The Warriors.

Panic In The Streets

Panic in the Streets (1950)

Runtime: 96 minutes

Directed by: Elia Kazan

Starring: Richard Widmark, Paul Douglas, Jack Palance, Barbara Bel Geddes, Zero Mostel

From: 20th Century Fox

Contact tracing in 1950.

The popularity of this film noir has risen since March; it was sadly perfect for viewing during this noirvember 2020 due to the movie's plot. An officer of the United States Public Health Service (Richard Widmark, playing a rare hero role... although he is still on the gruff side) realizes a homicide victim is patient zero for pneumonic plague and he has to contact trace those he came into contact with so they can be inoculated. Otherwise, a plague will start. He sometimes works with a police captain who isn't a believer so of course they bicker w/ each other. “Walter Jack Palance” in his movie debut managed to shine as the big bad villain.

Boy, do some elements come across as eerie in 2020. If I had seen it before this year-and I had known of this film for a few years now-perhaps I think it far-fetched that the government (in this case, the city of New Orleans, Louisiana) would be more concerned about causing a panic than protecting the public from an airborne pathogen, or people scoffing at the advice of those in the field of medicine. Now, I realize the movie was right on the money with such plot devices.

It was a very exciting movie between seeing Palance dealing with his hoodlum underlings and the efforts to contact trace those that came into contact w/ the dead man. Even a few minutes spent with Widmark and his wife discussing his gruff nature and how he treats her was not pointless because that was character growth and development. It also provides good advice for the viewing audience: You shouldn't say “oh, for Pete's sake!” after your wife delivers some (positive) bombshell news to you. Anyhow, Elia Kazan is the director; he's not everyone's favorite due to his real-life actions; to echo a quote in another review, in several of his movies is the moment where someone rats another person or persons out...

This was set and filmed in New Orleans; it's a great city I've visited before-albeit on a family vacation as a child-filled with plenty of distinctive flavor-naturally, an abundance of jazz is heard throughout. Considering the United States is being ravaged by “the second wave” of what I've deemed The Black Plague (the country really screwed the pooch when it came to handling it; that was a big reason of why I did not consider it a threat at first) and the prudent decision has been made to not go on my typical Christmas trip to the Midwest to see family... it was still escapist entertainment to see characters succeed in stopping a horrible virus. That's what I will think of as I still see dumbasses walking around the grocery store or Walmart sans mask.

Merrily We Go To Hell

Merrily We Go to Hell (1932)

Runtime: 83 minutes

Directed by: Dorothy Arzner

Starring: Sylvia Sidney, Fredric March, Adrianne Allen, Skeets Gallagher, Cary Grant

From: Paramount

I learned that there is such a thing as “white boy tapdancing.”

This is a movie I've known of for awhile now; besides having a great title, it covers the serious topic of alcoholism, has Cary Grant in a small role and is one of the films directed by Dorothy Arzner; after her career was finished it was a few decades before a female director did movies for major Hollywood studios. From cursory searches, her story of how she was the only woman directing at a big company (Paramount) during the 30's is a fascinating one and this is why two of her movies are on the Criterion Channel... until they leave at the end of November. There are other places I could have seen this-but shhh on that-I chose to do so officially rather than by visiting any sketchy areas of the Internet.

Fredric March was a newspaper reporter/frustrated playwright who is an alcoholic and Sylvia Sidney (who was a dish back during this time) is a heiress. Against her father's protests they decide to marry. He goes on the wagon for the sake of the marriage as the bottle has resulted in several incidents which totally embarrassed his gal. I mean, he got drunker than Cooter Brown-to use a phrase I've learned since I started living in the South-and passed out in random places. However, he still pines for a gal from the past and when she returns... he turns into a real jerk, to put it mildly. It is easy to feel plenty of sympathy for her. For the time it was a surprisingly mature look at such themes as alcoholism and an open marriage.

It was great performances from the duo which helped elevate the movie. So was an interesting story which had some humorous moments but also some which were stone cold sober-pun intended. S*** got real in the final few minutes-it was quite the contrast to the funny bits of Skeets Gallagher attempting to tap-dance or an amateur singing quartet where three of them are properly sauced. As it was a nice job directing by Arzner, in the future I'll have to track down more of her work.

No Country For Old Men

No Country for Old Men (2007)

Runtime: 122 minutes

Directed by: The Coen Brothers

Starring: Tommy Lee Jones, Javier Bardem, Josh Brolin, Woody Harrelson, Kelly Macdonald

From: Miramax/Paramount Vantage

The movie that made someone I know think they got a defective DVD-R from a garage sale.

As I've mentioned before, when a personal anecdote-especially an odd one-can be shared by me, it is a good thing. In this case, it was a sort of absurd situation. Last night a pal watched this movie for the first time... I had seen it before years ago. It was me who pointed out to them that the disc was not an official release and instead was burned; the glued-on label and the back of the disc gave it away. After the movie this person asked me if something was wrong with their disc or if the ending was left off due to how abrupt it was. It was quickly determined that their copy was fine; they were not happy with how the movie stops rather than concludes and that is fair. While I don't hate it, for me it was not 100% satisfying either.

It is a dark yet interesting film concerning a group of odd and colorful characters in 1980 Texas and their desire to acquire or get back their 2 million dollars in drug money. I can give it high marks because of the plot, the characters, and the talented cast-Bardem did deserve his Oscar for his portrayal of Anton Chigurh-along with the overarching themes of drugs on America, people adapting to change, and fears over the future for those in the twilight of their lives.

All that said, it is not a movie I love like many do and it's not something seen by me as “one of the best of the 2000's”. Ever since the 2008 Oscars people have compared this to There Will Be Blood and despite this getting the Best Picture nod, I definitely prefer TWBB. At least I was finally able to talk about this here and the person who unknowingly bought a burned copy of this at a random garage sale, at least they only paid two dollars and there was no problem with the disc.

The New One-Armed Swordsman

The New One-Armed Swordsman (Xin Du Bi Dao) (1971)

Runtime: 98 minutes

Directed by: Chang Cheh

Starring: David Chiang, Ti Lung, Ku Feng, Li Ching, Chan Sing

From: Shaw Brothers

Featuring an epic bromance.

It's been almost 6 months since viewing anything from Shaw Brothers; as I saw this heavily praised on a random website and I've seen the first two movies in this series way back in 2014, why not choose this?

While it has the same director (Chang Cheh) it has nothing to do with the first two films, starring Jimmy Wang Yu; rather, it has David Chiang as the lead. He is a cocksure young swordsman who loses in a battle to an older master at this art. His punishment: hacking off his own arm! Understandably, he is pretty mopey about it for awhile as he works at a sake joint, where he is bullied by A-holes. Thankfully for him, he both meets a cute young lady known as Ba Jiao and a guy named Feng who he quickly becomes bros with. Really, they call each other “brother”.

I slightly prefer the first two to this; that is no harsh slight as New is still a fun old time for those that enjoy the old wuxia films. It was intriguing seeing how long it took our eponymous hero to pick up a sword again and kick ass. It never becomes boring due to the other person in the bromance, Feng. There was no shortage of intrigue, martial arts or ace swordplay; it was pretty bloody also, with an astounding death that I won't spoil but it raised my eyebrows as I was not expecting something so brutal. The finale is at least a little preposterous... not that it wasn't a blast to watch due to all the carnage that was unleashed.

Eastern Condors

Eastern Condors (Dung Fong Tuk Ying) (1987) 

Runtime: 98 minutes

Directed by: Sammo Hung

Starring: Hung, Biao Yuen, Haing S. Ngor, Joyce Godenzi, Chi Jan Ha

From: Golden Harvest

It was not the plan to see a whole slew of films from the latter half of the 1980's through the early 90's (not to mention three from 1987) in a row but here we are. As I needed to see more Hong Kong action from the 1980's through the 1990's and this has received plenty of praise, that is why this was tracked down.

It is a war film light in tone but it wasn't too silly or stupid even if it has such elements as a weird villain who constantly giggles. A group of Asian-Americans in prison are tasked on a clandestine mission into Vietnam in 1976; it is to retrieve a huge cache of weapons-including missiles-left behind so the Vietcong don't get their hands on it. They get help from Cambodian guerillas (who are ladies) and a low-level smuggler named Rat. Also, it has Academy Award winner Haing S. Ngor in a prominent role. What a life Ngor had... he was a Cambodian doctor who sent to a prison camp by the horrid Khmer Rouge, won an Oscar for The Killing Fields despite not having done any acting previously, appeared in a few other random movies like this year, and was unfortunately murdered-it was a likely botched robbery-in 1996.

Anyhow, the presence of humor and jokes does not mean that the plentiful action isn't serious. There is plenty of explosions, shootouts, stabbings and decapitations alongside the martial arts. Director Sammo Hung apparently had a much longer cut of this but it was cut down to where we don't see these prisoners receive any training-there's always The Dirty Dozen for that, I suppose-and we get to 'Nam rather quickly. What was released: an hour and a half (minus credits) of great fun, with a slimmed-down Hung to boot and an amazing leaf-related death... yes.

Nayakan

Nayakan (1987)

Runtime: 156 minutes

Directed by: Mani Ratnam

Starring: Kamal Hassan, Saranya Ponvannan, Delhi Ganesh, Janakaraj, Karthika

From: Muktha Films/Sujatha Film

Not the usual wackiness I seek out in Indian cinema, but still a movie worth seeing.

In the past ten or so years I have checked out various films from India, usually the wacky ones (like Dhoom or Khoon Khoon, which is a sanitized version of Dirty Harry!) but also more serious films like Sholay. Most were enjoyable for what they were; Bollywood and everything else from the country is its own unique beast between how most of its product is rather long, mixes in various genres and even in what's been described as an Indian version of The Godfather-complete with a kill lifted straight from the classic-there are several musical numbers. The reason why I selected this was not just its easy availability on Prime; IMDb has its own separate list of the top motion pictures from India. This is currently ranked 4th, above Ray's The World of Apu. Something ranked that high among what I presume are native viewers... it seemed worthy of viewing.

It follows most of the life of Velu, a man who has been against law enforcement and the establishment since he was a kid, due to the cops killing his union leader pops. Through sheer determination in the lower class backgrould he would have once he found a new dad, Velu becomes like a Mafia don; people ask him for favors and he dishes out justice, no matter how brutal it may be. Velu's happy to kill a corrupt A-hole police officer but able to help out children in need and wants teenagers (including the ones he would eventually have) to get an education. Of course others want to usurp his power and you do see people die. Of course there's also friction involving his family.

This movie in the Tamil language was loosely based on a real life Mumbai gangster known as Varadarajan Mudaliar. While this does show the murder and the smuggling, it was still a sanitized look at his life which stresses the helping of his slums and why many there looked at him almost like a deity. It was a very good movie overall which made me realize that even back then Indian films were prone to plot twists that were on the outlandish side. Be that as it may it was an epic journey seeing all those events throughout his life and the various entities wishing to end his reign. The songs were find and the soundtrack was rather varied... it has everything from late 80's sounding jazz to music impossible to describe with nevertheless managed to work in context.

It does make me want to see this country's product far more often.

Time To Catch Up

Before last night, the past few days I revisited a pair of movies I saw in the past:

The weird 1987 comedy Real Men, as it was on MGMHD

The wacky low budget action movie Action U.S.A. That has actually been restored by Kino Lorber and some places in the United States are showing it theatrically. I had to stream it at home but it benefitted my local arthouse joint (The Enzian) and it looked far better than I had seen it before.

Highlander II: The Quickening

Highlander II: The Quickening (1991)

Runtime: I saw the Special Edition, which is 109 minutes

Directed by: Russell Mulcahy

Starring: Christopher Lambert, Virginia Madsen, Michael Ironside, Sean Connery, John C. McKinley

From: Several companies that I am sure were embarrassed w/ the finished production

I am glad that late 80's hair & fashion will make a comeback in 2024.

It is important to note here which version of the movie I experienced last night; don't worry it is not the theatrical cut that I've known for literally decades was a real disaster. Instead this is the 2004 Special Edition which is in essence the 1995 Renegade Edition (meaning the Director's Cut) of the movie which has added CG-that doesn't look great-and the shield is blue instead of red.

Of course this is hindsight but it was not the wisest idea to try and film the movie for cheap in Argentina. The country's economy went down the toilet so hard that the economy experienced hyperinflation, the film ran out of cash, and the company that provided the completion bond (which guarantees that a motion picture is able to be finished) got involved hardcore with the movie... if they were the ones who came up with the baffling idea to make the Immortals aliens from a planet called Zeist-which totally craps on the OG film's continuity-then yikes.

But that theatrical version is now hard to track down and it'd be best to not punish myself that way. Regrettably, this “improved” version is still not that good. Our hero and Ramirez having an enemy from “the ancient past” instead of “some random alien planet” isn't that much better, after all. The dumb humor hasn't changed and Old Man MacLeod acting & sounding like he's approximately 94 years old is funnier than any of the comedy they were trying to elicit laughter. It's a shame as the general idea is something that should have worked. I am old enough to remember the late 80's and early 90's even if I was a kid then-fears of the ozone layer depleting was a huge deal and a threat many took seriously. Thankfully the banning of the chemicals that caused this damage helped stop the problem but the idea of a futuristic world where a high-tech solution was enacted to save the ozone layer but a corporation continuing the solution even if the atmosphere has returned to normal... it is an idea w/ a lot of potential, although perhaps not in the Highlander universe.

While I don't quite get why most of the cars in this universe are vintage 1960's automobiles, the dark dreary world was brought to life rather well. It's always nice seeing Virginia Madsen and it was hilarious hearing John C. McKinley pulling an Elizabeth Holmes with his voice but it was definitely Michael Ironside who was the highlight. Even if some of his dialogue doesn't make sense for someone who is either an alien or a person from the ancient past and some of his moments are over the top stupid, that performance is loud and outre to the max... amazingly unrestrained, practically frothing at the mouth due to the fact that he realized what a fiasco this motion picture was going to be so he might as well have fun.

I am sure I wouldn't have fun if I continued on in the Highlander universe; something else (hopefully better) will be discussed tomorrow.

Highlander

Highlander (1986)

Runtime: 116 minutes

Directed by: Russell Mulcahy

Starring: Christopher Lambert, Roxanne Hart, Clancy Brown, Beatie Edney, Sean Connery

From: A few UK companies

This wasn't even originally going to be viewed last night; however, I stumbled upon its recent inclusion on Prime and as it's been ages since I last saw the movie, there could only be one choice for me and that was it.

Of course, by now the franchise has become a cult hit so I'll operate under the presumption that most are familiar with the concept of Immortals or how the few that are left do battle in New York City until one remains... along with decapitation being the only means of death for said immortals. Now, this is a world where correct accents apparently aren't a thing, Sean Connery is supposed to be an Egyptian w/ a long Spanish name, people aren't incredulous when they think or find out that someone who appears to be in his late 20's is in fact a few hundred years old, and wires can easily be seen during the wacky special effects finale. Despite that and the movie being disjointed at times, this is still a good time.

From the opening at a pro wrestling match (not at Madison Square Garden but rather a nearby arena known at the time as Brendan Byrne Arena) involving The Fabulous Freebirds vs. Greg Gagne, Jumpin' Jim Brunzell and The Tonga Kid to that extravagant finale, this has plenty of moments which look like a music video... not a surprise given the director. No matter the story's faults, it at least is a great premise and they went full-bore into it with no hesitation. For a guy that hardly knew any English when he was cast as the lead, Christopher Lambert (or as some say, Christophe Lambear) was good; however, it was Clancy Brown as The Kurgan who was the most memorable aspect due to the general OOT nature of the character... which was matched by his performance. Both the Michael Kamen score and the Queen soundtrack are still pretty rockin'.

Believe it or not this is the only entry in the franchise I've ever viewed; the TV show I did not care about and all the bad word concerning the sequels has been enough to scare me away. At least this is still entertaining in its own bombastic ways.

Carry On Up The Khyber

Carry On Up the Khyber (1968)

Runtime: 88 minutes

Directed by: Gerald Thomas

Starring: The usual Carry On crew

From: Anglo-Amalagated Film Distributors

I was originally going to post this review yesterday but I had no time to write it up; several tasks occupied my time, chiefly purchasing a 4K TV for my father on his behalf as his old TV in the den went kaput. He knows nothing about the whole 4K thing so that's why this was tasked to me. Besides driving around to a few places to find one that fit his parameters, there was bringing it up and setting it up, which took longer than expecting. Relaxing last night instead was the way to go. Thankfully I had the time to type up this review.

Much of this is typical for the franchise. After all, the key plot point surrounds a regiment that guards the Khyber Pass in Pakistan-which I know from photographs looks far different from where this was filmed, which was rural Wales-and their fearsome reputation is ruined because Charles Hawtrey wears underwear under his kilt! Yes, them freeballing in battle is enough to scare away the “natives.” Of course, there are several British guys and gals who cosplay as Middle Eastern or Southern Asian people as that's how things were back then.

Naturally this is the sort of thing where there's ribald humor, corny jokes, and characters with names like Bungdit Din, Princess Jelhi, Brother Belcher & a woman named Busti who was cast quite well! Plus, from Wikipedia I know that Khyber is British “slang for arse” & the movie made it clear that the British Indian tradition of tiffin (a mid-afternoon tea and light meal) is not the only usage of that word.

A few elements do help elevate this above the usual for this crew. Not only is there a scene which actually has some poignancy among the funny bits, but there is nice satire concerning the “stiff upper lip” mentality and oblivious foolishness of the British, or at least their military. Thus, that is why Khyber is typically ranked near the top in this franchise. 

Gamera: Super Monster

Gamera: Super Monster (Uchu Kaiju Gamera) (1980)

Runtime: 92 agonizing minutes

Directed by: Noriaki Yuasa... and also apparently Shigeo Tanaka

Starring: Random actors from prior installments via stock footage, along with actors in the new segment which (poorly) attempts to tie everything together and they all deserve better

From: Daiei

Despite some of the ineptitude being incredible, the movie is not as joyful as I may make it sound.

It wasn't the original plan to see two Gamera pictures in a row; due to my schedule and not being able to post anything yesterday, that was why I went with something I heard was terrible... and this was amazingly bad. An important note concerning the movie and why it was so cheap: the production company (Daiei) went bankrupt right before Gamera vs. Zigra was released, which is why another company released it. In 1974 they returned and to try and earn some coin at the box office, they made this. If only they actually had the money to make a proper Gamera picture...

Much of the movie is stock footage from the previous seven Gamera movies, thus we see again parts of all those kaiju battles. The new footage: incredibly lame. Aliens that we never see aside from a human-looking lackey (and their ship is a thinly disguised Star Destroyer) wish to take over Earth and bring along those gaggle of kaiju monsters. There's a little boy who OF COURSE wears too small shorts and in addition, there is a trio of young ladies who are “space women” and they say they have superpowers but they are barely used, do their posing routine a dozen times, and as you see in the final act, besides them hardly doing anything at all, they have a code where they don't kill or injure their enemies! What terrible “heroes” they are!

Even worse than that or a plot that is full of illogical moments, are the “special effects.” Aside from them looking atrocious, they were all done on video; this means that every time an effect more complicated than what can be done in an edit or camera switch happens, the entire scene is shot on videotape. So that's right, it often switches being a nice-looking print and terrible quality video footage-it was just embarrassing. The “final battle” was so embarrassingly amateur, it might as well have been better done by people holding models of Gamera and the Star Destroyer and you see those hands moving the models around. Heck, the end credits rip off a famous scene from Superman: The Movie.

I realize it may sound so bad it's funny... and it is easy to laugh at such bad heroes, the miniscule budget, the space women spending time in what is best described as a TARDIS handbag, a crappy 70's Mazda van, the implication that every Japanese house has a Yamaha synthesizer-but this was usually a painful watch. If it wasn't bad enough that they had a brand new Gamera theme song that was inferior to the original... for reasons unknown to me there are 30 second clips each of anime! It was nonsequitor footage from both Spaceship Battle Yamato and Galaxy Express 999; all it made me do was track down any iteration of either property. The fact that they had the temerity to take a potshot at Godzilla while he was on sabbatical at the time-I shake my head at all of this.

Eventually I'll see the apparently great 90's reboot of the franchise but I need at least a little break from this kaiju madness.

Gamera vs. Zigra

Gamera vs. Zigra (1971)

Runtime: 88 minutes

Directed by: Noriaki Yuasa

Starring: Koji Fujiyama, Daigo Inoue, Yasushi Sakagami, Goro Kumon, Gloria Zoellner

From: Daiei... and Dainichi-Eihai

This is the first of two reviews I'm posting today; the films are related to each other. As I've explained before, as a kid I saw the first seven movies on VHS; in the past few years I've revisited the first six so it was time for this, even if I had faint memories of the film being rather lousy. Indeed it was lousy; a shame as it has a nice pro-environmental message.

I could bemoan how this is yet another instance where we follow two young children (more annoying than usual) outwitting both adults and the alien villains; they want to take over Earth's oceans but are pissed that humanity are polluting SOB's, yada yada yada. I could carp about some of the special effects but they looked like they were from ILM in comparison to the inanity I experienced last night (that'll come in a few hours). It's goofy nonsense with many plot holes where the best way to exemplify it is that the ending features Gamera playing Zigra's back as if it was a xylophone; at least I laughed because it was so outlandish. If you've seen Gamera against the likes of Jiger or Guiron, you should know what to expect with this.

Some scenes are set at a marine park in Japan known as... Sea World. No, they have nothing to do with the company in the United States that has some locations in the United States and people have hated since that Blackfish documentary came out. From looking at the website of what is now known as Kamogawa Sea World, not only do you see orcas in captivity doing shows in the film, they still have them in captivity today. You can use that information however you wish. Anyhow, it is a movie which was a last gasp from Daiei before they went defunct for a few years. The way that they tried to restart Gamera in 1980 once they returned...

Young And Innocent

Young and Innocent (1937)

Runtime: 83 minutes

Directed by: Alfred Hitchcock

Starring: Nova Pilbeam, Derrick De Marney, Percy Marmont, Edward Rigby, Mary Clare

From: Gaumont

No one can like the drummer-man.

Last night felt like the time to see a Hitchcock film I hadn't viewed before, and via the Criterion Channel I checked this out. Comparisons with The 39 Steps are obvious as this also involves a man on the run who meets up with a woman & at first they don't get along but of course that changes... this time though, it does not involve spies and secrets. Rather, it is a random dude who discovers his actress friend deceased on the beach and via a misunderstanding he is accused of her murder. The woman here is the daughter of the police chief.

The movie is not as strong as The 39 Steps. While it is lighter in tone and that doesn't automatically make it worse, its main issue is that instead of having constant momentum like 39 does, there are fits & spurts; some stretches are dull rather than exciting. It's a shame because the two leads (Derrick De Marney and the amazingly-named Nova Pilbeam) are the highlights of the film. Her character Erica is especially a treat as she's a bold independent lady.

Even with its faults, I can still say that this is good; just note that The 39 Steps is very good and this will suffer in comparison. At least there is a decent number of amusing moments, some of which involve a pair of police officers best described as “bumbling.” At one point they have to ride on a trailer pulled by a horse... and a container full of pigs; insert your own jokes if you want! This does have a great tracking shot which ends on a zoom-in on a drummer in a jazz band and it's so close Sergio Leone would have loved it. I did know of this beforehand but shame that this jazz band is fronted by a white dude, and white people who are in blackface...

I Revisited The Hurt Locker

and it's still a very good picture: 

Turner Classic Movies is in the midst of a two month long deal where each Tuesday evening they air parts of a longform documentary series about women directors and then play various films from same... many of which I hadn't even heard of before. This played last night and it was my first time experiencing The Hurt Locker since I saw it theatrically late in the summer of '09. As Kathryn Bigelow is still the only female to win Best Director at the Academy Awards and this is still the only movie from a distaff director to win Best Picture, it was natural it would be part of that deal. BTW, I am sure that people still laugh about Bigelow being her ex-husband James Cameron's Avatar for those two big Oscars.

Much to my relief this motion picture is still effective. It is still a thrilling look at a trio of men in the United States Army in Iraq who are in the Explosive Ordnance Disposal field... that is bomb disposal. Jeremy Renner is the new member of this trio and as he's a maverick, the other two have conflicts with him. Those three are always fascinating to watch interact with each other and how they handle all those stressful situations-which are still stressful to experience for the viewer. It is shot close up and with handheld cameras... it very well could have been nauseating to see the camera shake about but even on the big screen I remember that not being the case.

At the time I definitely did not expect Renner and Anthony Mackie to become much more popular, let alone the popularity of the Marvel Cinematic Universe. It's a shame that Brian Geraghty did not also reach those heights in his career as everyone in the trio did a great job... that being said, from IMDb I know he has since been on various television shows so at least he still has a career. Not only is it a tale filled with tense moments, but for an unaware dope like me it was interesting to hear what it was like for soldiers in Iraq back in the early 2000's.

I was happy not only to revisit a movie I still think is very good, but to talk about it on what is Veterans Day in the United States. I know some people-from back in my Illinois hometown-who went to the Middle East via the armed forces as young adults and not all of them were able to return home alive. I of course won't go into detail there but if anyone reading this is a veteran, my hats off to you... and not just on this day.

Videodrome

Videodrome (1983)

Runtime: 88 minutes

Directed by: David Cronenberg

Starring: James Woods, Sonja Smits, Debbie Harry, Peter Dvorsky, Leslie Carlson

From: Universal

Long live the new flesh.

I fixed my laptop issues so this will be the first of two reviews for today, where I will then be caught up here. Both films are revisits, something I saw for the second time after the first viewing was many years ago. Both are still very good, thankfully. This was viewed via the Criterion Channel and it was ironic to stream a motion picture like this.

Presumably everyone is at least faintly familiar w/ the premise of how a man named Max Renn operates a low-wattage UHF station in Toronto that shows the sleaziest programs so I won't dwell too much on that, or how he stumbles upon a signal to something called Videodrome. I will admit it was amusing to me to witness all that technology from the past... Betamax tapes & players, giant satellite dishes, etc. In addition, between viewings the narrative has changed on James Woods, at least as a person. The reasons why I of course won't dwell on here-just note that it did not really impact my watching this on Monday night. He still was great as Max Renn; for someone with not a lot of acting experience, Debbie Harry was pretty good in her supporting role.

Naturally, Videodrome is still a pretty weird motion picture with all its bizarre imagery, focus on S&M, gross-out visual effects, and all the rest. However, it was still not too difficult to understand the general plot or to see the various messages that Cronenberg was saying on such topics as the preoccuptation w/ television, wallowing in sex & violence, and our dependence on technology. Almost four decades later it seems to ring more true than it did back then... to echo the thoughts of others, the concept of cable news networks having such an impact on shaping someone's views-even if many claim that those opinions are biased or flat-out lies... and I am not just referring to Fox News here-it is frightening to realize the power of media; and Lord, the power of the Internet and how it unfortunately also spreads dangerous (not to mention false) narratives...

Anyhow, the effects from Rick Baker are still viscerally powerful and the synth-based score from Howard Shore still rules. Famously, Cronenberg turned down Return of the Jedi (as he “did not want to direct someone else's material”) to do this and The Dead Zone instead. As amazing as RotJ could have been if he-or Lynch, for that matter-had done it, this and The Dead Zone are well worth seeing.

Nightfall

Nightfall (1956)

Runtime: 78 minutes

Directed by: Jacques Tourneur

Starring: Aldo Ray, Brian Keith, Anne Bancroft, Jocelyn Brando, James Gregory

From: Columbia

While I saw this late Saturday night on TCM-as part of the deal where they show one film noir each late Saturday night-it wasn't until now that I had the time to finish the review. It definitely fits into that category even if it came late in the run of the classic noir era. The movie has a breathy dame w/ a husky voice (a quality performance from Anne Bancroft), a poor schlub named Jim who is falsely accused-probably one of Aldo Ray's best roles-and two hissable villains who were pretty vile, John and Red (Brian Keith and Rudy Bond).

The film begins late at night in Los Angeles, and for the first 20 minutes or so we are introduced to the main players-there is also an insurance investigator and his wife. Jim has no idea that anyone was tailing him until the bad guys made their presence known. He was a man walking solo around downtown and ended up in a small restaurant/bar... literally the sort of place where a dude named Shorty would play piano. Plenty of flashbacks appear which explain Jim's situation and why some A-holes and the insurance investigator believe he has a crapton of cash.

It was a compelling story from the very beginning which has the expected direction, tone, lighting, hard-boiled dialogue, etc. The war of words between John, Red and Jim was especially a highlight. Part of the movie takes place in Wyoming and thankfully there was location shooting to bring that lovely scenery to life. Mix in an ending with gruesome implications which will remind you of a famous crime drama from the 90's and this is late noir worth tracking down.

The Hunt For Red October

The Hunt for Red October (1990)

Runtime: 135 minutes

Directed by: John McTiernan

Starring: Sean Connery, Alec Baldwin, Scott Glenn, Sam Neill, Courtney B. Vance

From: Paramount

I've begun the process of catching up here; barring any laptop complications (long story) I'll post another review here in a few hours and two more reviews will go up tomorrow.

This is one of two movies that AMC Theatres is playing in tribute to Sean Connery; as I've viewed Goldfinger plenty of times in the past and don't need to do a new review of it, I went with this famous adaptation of the Tom Clancy novel instead, the one that started the Jack Ryan franchise... even though it was the only time Alec Baldwin was in the role. Baldwin is not one of my favorite people due to some of his real life actions but I can't fault his acting performances, including in this film. Then again, this also has Jeffrey Jones, someone convicted of a serious crime against an underaged boy... for anyone who is seriously not a fan of his for that reason, at least he's only on screen for a few minutes.

This has a hell of a cast... everyone from James Earl Jones and Tim Curry to Stellan Skarsgard, Sam Neill and Courtney B. Vance. It is an exciting Cold War tale where a Soviet sub commander goes rogue and everyone is befuddled in what to do against someone who has a new-fangled sub that due to real life technology (well, it's still theoretical in 2020 because it's never worked reliably on such a large scale) cannot be detected by sonar. To think that Connery wasn't the first choice for this top-billed role, and accepted it at the last minute. His “Russian” accent is questionable but otherwise I can't fault him here.

While it's a plot that I realized while going home is not the sort of thing you want to scrutinize too hard, overall this was a real good time between the quality direction from John McTiernan, the excellent sound design, the various scenes that are filled w/ maximum tension, and the various twists & turns the story has. Even though the current conflicts between the United States and Russia is different from the era when there was a Soviet Union, the story is not dated or has aged poorly... the ending scene and its greenscreen effects, however... be that as it may, it was another nice tribute on my part to a great actor and a nice way to spend a Sunday night.

The Biggest Battle

The Biggest Battle (Il Grande Attacco) (1978)

Runtime: 104 minutes

Directed by: Umberto Lenzi

Starring: Stacy Keach, Guiliano Gemma, Samantha Eggar, Ray Lovelock, Helmut Berger

From: A few European companies

I discovered why a movie with such a cast is quite obscure.

In the past I've discussed director Umberto Lenzi and how his sleazy genre efforts have entertained me, whether they be horror or poliziotteschi. For awhile now I've known that he did a serious World War II picture featuring a great cast yet it is not well known among even film fans; as I haven't seen anything from Lenzi in like a year, it was time... note that while there's a print on Prime, that wasn't streamed as it's fullscreen and looks terrible. Nevermind how but I found a widescreen copy.

How could I not view a movie that had as its main players Stacy Keach, Henry Fonda, John Huston, Helmut Berger, Samantha Eggar, Giuliano Gemma, Ray Lovelock, and Edwige Fenech? Hell, I understand that in the American cut-which I did not view-there was narration from Orson Welles! Yet judging by IMDb and Letterboxd, it is unknown to most nerds like us. I heard bad things but to me, at least it wasn't total dreck like Inchon-now there is something dire. Of course, this still looks bad compared to such all-star war pictures like The Longest Day, A Bridge Too Far & Battle of Britain.

The biggest problem is that this is in essence a bunch of different vignettes involving various people in WWII... even some Germans are followed. It does not really connect together even if some of them end up in Tunisia at the Battle of the Mareth Line. Much of it is just average... the performances, the action (which I hear includes some copious usage of stock footage), and overall filmmaking. The movie is not a drag at 104 minutes-at the same time there wasn't enough time to care about everyone, which was one of its issues.

As funny as it was that the guy who gave us Nightmare City and Cannibal Ferox also directed a European war picture with such a cast, this was not bad enough to be funny (or at least irritating enough to get me fired up due to anger) but wasn't good enough for me to ever recommend the film.

Possessed (The 1947 Joan Crawford Film)

Possessed (1947)

Runtime: 108 minutes

Directed by: Curtis Bernhardt

Starring: Joan Crawford, Van Heflin, Raymond Massey, Geraldine Brooks, Stanley Ridges

From: Warner Bros.

First off, more than 1,000 people now follow me on Letterboxd?! This happened last month and I would like to thank everyone for following me despite my lengthy reviews, too many of which I look back and either sigh at a mistake or groan at something which could have been written better. My harsh self-criticism aside, thank you, each and every follower. I am quite surprised at the number of followers when I usually don't seek out people to follow... it's typically people finding my page/my reviews.

The reason why this movie was watched on Criterion was not just that I had seen the unrelated 1931 movie Possessed that also starred Joan Crawford; November is also considered noirvember by many film fans. Thus, I'll try to see a few of those this month. Plenty have been viewed since the fall of 2014 (45 in all) yet there's no shortage of worthwhile pictures to see in the future.

While this was more melodrama than noir, at least I was entertained. The plot is similar to a verity of noirs I've seen in the past: it begins with a big event then flashes back to how this predicament took place. Here, Crawford is experiencing what people would now categorize as “a mental health episode.” In a hospital bed, she explains her situation: in short, her mental health goes down the toilet due to unrequited love... Van Heflin's David is a cold guy-mainly obsessed with math and engineering-who doesn't love her as much as she loves him. The problems she has while being a private nurse to a rich family only compounds her problems.

While its treatment of mental health won't always look great by 2020 standards, thankfully it's not tasteless & it was a relief that Dan wasn't a one-dimensional character... even if he sometimes appears to be a jerk, he gets points for being honest and he isn't uncaring when Joan's at her most irrational. It was an always interesting tale which looked nice throughout; while the cast was solid throughout, Crawford was naturally the standout. I was happy to see this on the Criterion Channel.

I Revisit Godzilla vs. Megalon

 Even this movie was better than paying attention to the 2020 election.

Instead of focusing on something that was predicted to be close and take days to figure out-which happened to be the correct take... before anyone asks, I early-voted last week-instead I spent last night at the drive-in in Ocala, about an hour away from me. The reason for my first sojourn there: it was one of only a few spots across the country that was showing a trio of Godzilla movies-one of the two companies promoting it was Janus Films. As November 3 is The Big G's birthday in canon-because that was when Gojira was first released back in '54-that only made it most logical for me to visit a drive-in I now wish would have been visited by me much sooner.

I don't need to do new reviews for Godzilla vs. Mechagodzilla and Destroy All Monsters as I am satisfied w/ both reviews I did for them in the past... and they were also two of the better films in the Showa-Era of Godzilla. This, however... it's more a minor rewrite than something completely new. As for why it was chosen to be screened alongside two worthwhile entries from the era: I can only presume camp value; G is hardly in it until the second half. This is likely best known in America for either... the skewering MST3K gave it many years ago, the “flying horizontal for 2000 feet before delivering a dropkick” moment or its poster from Cinema Shares, the people who released it in the United States 3 years after it came out in Japan. By this time the King Kong remake had been released so Cinema Shares decided to spoof that poster by creating one which was Godzilla and Megalon fighting each other on top of the World Trade Center; they must have thought, “Who cares if this doesn't actually happen in the film?!” At least it is awesome art... and “Gojira vs. Megalon fight in NYC, leading to the finish of both on top of the twin towers” would have been better than the actual plot presented here.

That actual plot: Ultraman... er, I mean “Jet Jaguar”, a robot created by two men who have a son (that's the subtext I got, that they're a couple and the young boy who unfortunately keeps the kaiju film tradition alive of wearing too short shorts is their kid), and how the robot has to do battle with Megalon, a beetle-like creature who has drills for hands. It's actually a cool-looking kaiju monster... unfortunately it comes off as a real dumbass-the bad guys need to steal Jet Jaguar and program him to lead Megalon around as otherwise the creature would be too dopey to know where to go. It's released by the Seatopians, humanoids who used to live on the Earth's surface but they moved to the subterranean level and are pissed off by nuclear testing. Former enemy Gigan also appears. Eventually, Godzilla shows up to save the day.

It seems like a random movie that The Big G was randomly inserted in as otherwise a solo Jet Jaguar film would have bombed... which is actually what happened. That's why it is more about a robot that can magically force itself to grow from human height to kaiju height to fight than Godzilla saving the Earth's ass once again. The movie is funny bad, sure, but overall it's not too good. While there's such absurdities as the “modern version of what the people from Atlantis would wear” outfits the Seatopians are seen in, what hurts this movie a lot is how cheap it seems; the fact that a lot of stock footage is used from previous films demonstrates this rather well. I won't fault those that unironically love this-it did play better in a giant format. All that being said, my original rating still stands, even if I am glad for the opportunity to see all three at a drive-in, dubbed (which seemed appropriate for the setting) & between concessions and admission, was less than 15 dollars total.

I Discuss Another 1933 Cartoon

and it was also one involving Betty Boop, although she wasn't the star. Instead, it was 1933's Popeye the Sailor:

Last night I went to a drive-in to see a trio of older films; that will be discussed when I review one of them later in the day. For now, I will discuss this cartoon, which played before the three motion pictures. When I was a kid I viewed some Popeye cartoons; heck if I know if it was VHS rentals, them appearing on TV or a combination of the two. In any event, this was the very first Popeye cartoon-originally he was only in comic strips.

This established the basics of the character... he was really F'ing strong, his girl was the rail-thin Olive Oyl, the rude bully Bluto was their enemy, and he Hulks up after consuming spinach. The crux of this is spent at a carnival, where Bluto is always bested and he then kidnaps Olive. This culminates with Popeye literally punching a train to save his girl. For about a minute, Betty Boop shows up to do a hula dance. I'll be charitable and say she has a dark skin complexion because of her having a hell of a tan... also, as this is Pre-Code, she is topless except for a lei that always covers her chest.

Mix in plenty of nice visual gags and this was pretty good, both on its own and as an introduction to a character that plenty of people still remember 91 years after he made his debut.

Operation Kid Brother

Operation Kid Brother (1967)

Runtime: 106 minutes

Directed by: Alberto De Martino

Starring: Neil Connery (yes, Sean's brother), Daniela Bianchi, Adolfo Celi, and several other people who have appeared in 007 films either once or are regulars

From: Produzione D.S.

I see why Sean Connery's brother Neil did not become a star.

As it is on Amazon Prime and this seemed like the right time to finally check out a movie I've known of for years but never saw (not even when it was an early episode of MST3K), that was last night's activity. For a movie which had the amazing gimmick of being a Eurospy picture starring the brother of the guy who played 007 at the time, Neil was... a plasterer who got fired for losing this tools, and due to this publicity the producers of this film got the idea to cast him as the lead. In other words, he did not have the star power or charisma of older brother Sean.

They went all out in reminding everyone of the familial connection. Neil played... Neil Connery; yes, that's the character's name. In this universe he's not a simple plasterer-oh no, he's a master surgeon, skilled archery competitor, expert lip-reader, and he knows an “exotic” form of hypnosis which of course is quite useful when he is tasked to stop a nefarious plot he stumbled into. The story is rather preposterous and silly; there are many references to Neil having a famous secret agent brother; that's how “subtle” this is. The other noteworthy aspect is the number of actors who have been in 007 movies, from one time only appearances (Adolfo Celi, Daniela Bianchi, Anthony Dawson) to series regulars Bernard Lee and Lois Maxwell.

Yet, I did not hate the movie. Honestly, it was too silly for me to get mad at it. I mean, there are some unique setpieces, a finale that involves many archers (that's the official name of someone who does archery) in an underground cave setting, Bianchi leads a clone of Pussy Galore's girl gang, several exotic locations in Europe-along with Morocco-were seen... I was at least entertained. Hell, in one scene Maxwell fires a submachine gun, which is far more than what she ever did as Miss Moneypenny. Given the movie's reputation, I was expecting this to be far worse; thus, this was average overall even with a non-actor in the lead who apparently had to be dubbed by an American because Neil was ill at the time he had to do that task. Heck, there is even a score done by Bruno Nicolai and MORRICONE which usually sounded like a thinly-veiled riff on the standard Bond music, along with an incredibly zany title song known as OK Connery... which is one of the many alternate titles this thing has.

In the future I should check out more Eurospy films as I have a feeling some of them will have their kitschy charms which will be appealing to me. As for Neil Connery, from all reports he's still alive; this was not the only motion picture he did but there were only a few other roles, all minor in comparison. I have no idea what Eon Productions thought of Lee and Maxwell appearing here... I understand Sean was pissed that his brother was roped into a movie where the main draw was the familial connection. At least Neil got to visit several pretty locations and hang out with a bevy of European beauties...

Zardoz

Zardoz (1974)

Runtime: 105 minutes

Directed by: John Boorman

Starring: Sean Connery (RIP), Charlotte Rampling, Sara Kestelman, John Alderton, Niall Buggy

From: 20th Century Fox

Featuring the 23rd century version of Siri.

Like everyone else, I was saddened to hear on Halloween that Sir Sean Connery had passed away. I've reviewed all of his Bond efforts and a few others during his career; instead of a famous role I've never discussed here before, I went with... this bizarre motion picture which flopped at the box office. I did see it once before, albeit more than 15 years ago so my memories were pretty hazy. Finally seeing this again, of course the plot is totally off the wall and imbibed with a hippie-dippie spirit... yet it isn't totally impenetrable or totally up its own ass w/ a smug sense of self-importance. I mean, this has a brief opening (mandated by 20th Century Fox after bad test screenings) where a disembodied head gives some basics of the plot... not only is he later to be shown as an important character, all his facial hair is drawn on with what looks like a black magic marker! 

In the late 23rd century, there are only Brutals-mortal beings-and the immortal Eternals. Connery hides in a flying giant stone head in order to visit the land of the Eternals. Note that not only is his outfit a totally chic look of black thigh-high boots, what is best described as giant red diapers, and a matching bandolier, but this flying giant stone head actually speaks, shoots out weapons to the Brutals & utters such statements as “The gun is good... the penis is evil.” Turns out, these Eternals are eternally bored because they can never die and having enough time to discover everything there is to know about the world isn't all that it's cracked up to be.

It is not entirely successful at delivering all its messages, metaphysical or not. Be that as it may, it is still a rather fascinating world with how the Eternals dress like futuristic hippies, their world is totally rustic by 1970's standards, and they have a version of Siri which is a crystal attached to a ring that everyone has. Plus, it is both intentionally and unintentionally hilarious... I am not sure in which category belongs the scene where the immortals are fascinated by erections (as of course they don't need to have sex) and try to give Old Sean one. Many times before I've bemoaned how safe and risk-averse Hollywood is; likewise, how Hollywood used to be isn't always a positive as sometimes directors were allowed by big studios to make self-indulgent crap that appealed to hardly anyone... another movie I haven't seen in almost 20 years but I should also revisit is Myra Breckenridge-now there is some weird crap which from memory was far less successful in whatever the hell it was trying to say.

At least here the general ideas can be understood, even if director John Boorman himself apparently did not entirely know what it all meant... and he was also the one who wrote the story. It amused me that they got distinguished actors like Connery and Charlotte Rampling to romp around rural Ireland-to think that if not for bad health (including the flu and complications from hernia surgery) this was originally going to star Burt Reynolds! At least the two leads did a swell job with patently strange roles. Even if by nature this has its share of flaws, at least they tried to be philosophical and discuss high-brow concepts concerning immortality & men dicking around w/ the natural order of things. Thus, I'll say that this was fine-the fact that it wasn't a painful journey for me definitely helps. I know it won't be the only Sean Connery film I see this month... RIP to the man who was at least willing to take a wacky part like this.