Salem's Lot

Salem's Lot (1979)

Runtime: This was a TV miniseries, so it was 183 minutes

Directed by: Tobe Hooper (RIP)

Starring: David Soul, James Mason, Lance Kerwin, Bonnie Bedelia, Lew Ayres

From: Warner Brothers Television

I decided this was the way I would pay tribute to the late Tobe Hooper; I made a good decision, as I explain below: 

It was only appropriate for me to see this movie last night; I wanted to tip my cap to the late Tobe Hooper and I went with a flick I hadn't seen before. As people here and elsewhere have praised the film I decided to give it a shot, and I had 3 hours where this could be seen uninterrupted, this is what I selected. It's not the European theatrical version that's available for streaming online but rather the original miniseries.

I imagine many knew more about the movie than I did before giving it a whirl... I only knew the basics and how “the big bad” looked, which was indeed creepy as F. But I'll be brief: a writer returns to his hometown in Maine, to write about “the old haunted house”, and that does factor into the plot, but more of it is related to James Mason coming into town, ostensibly to open an antiques store but he has quite the ulterior motive.

As this is 3 hours long, enough time is spent on the characters. I've never read the King book so I am just judging this by what I saw, and I definitely was entertained by this small town (of only 2,000 people) so it does make sense that certain people keep on running into each other or they know each other so they hang out often. The first act, of course I was tickled pink by the random love triangle between Julie Cobb (playing someone nicknamed Boom Boom Bonnie; the name says it all), George Dzundza's alcoholic character, and real estate agent Fred Willard, who wears hilarious 70's suits and as you discover in one scene, bright red silk boxer shorts. Even with such wacky moments, the movie was always creepy, especially once the story got going. A big compliment I can give is that the 3 hours flew by and it was easy to watch in one sitting.

It being made for TV was not a hindrance to me. I did not miss any violent gore or vulgar language; the focus on mood & atmosphere instead worked to make the film so spooky. Having a talented cast was a big asset... besides the people I already mentioned, David Soul-as the lead-showed he was more than just Hutch. There's also James Mason in a key role, Bonnie Bedelia, the legendary Lew Ayres, Ed Flanders, and Geoffrey Lewis. Plus, Elisha Cook Jr. and Marie Windsor have small parts but they used to be a couple, which is a great gag for those here well-versed in classic cinema.

Tobe Hooper definitely had a career of ups and downs and I understand some of his films were pretty bad. At least he had a classic, a very good film (albeit one where Spielberg at the very least had some influence on it), and several others worth seeing, such as this one, where his direction was quite solid; the final half hour or so is especially effective. I say that it being made for CBS and the length should not stop any horror fan from giving this a shot.

Gone Baby Gone

Gone Baby Gone (2007)

Runtime: 114 minutes

Directed by: Ben Affleck

Starring: Casey Affleck, Michelle Monaghan, Ed Harris, Morgan Freeman, John Ashton

From: Miramax

Would you believe I had never seen a movie directed by Ben Affleck before? Shame on me, as I rate this highly: 

Last night (8/26/17) I did not watch “that one boxing match”, for a variety of reasons; I don't even like boxing but I was happy not to spend a second checking out a farce of a bout with a shrimp of a guy that's a blowhard vs. an unrepentant woman-beater. Instead, I watched a film I somehow had never seen before, starring someone who apparently isn't a great human being either (but there are unfortunately plenty of people in the entertainment business who are not shining examples of humanity and I am sure it's always been that way).

I am glad I went into this pretty cold, knowing only that there was a horrifying scene which occurs about halfway through. It involves something in a sink... and it was pretty chilling. I imagine most know how Casey Affleck and Michelle Monaghan are not only a couple but also private investigators... and they are hired so they can try to find a kidnapped 4 year old, and they have an uneasy relationship with a pair of police detectives, and there are surprises, and some very tough decisions have to be made. Thus, I'll get to giving my thoughts.

It may be a little far-fetched (although I could be naive here) and even with that caveat, I can rate this quite highly. Even if he apparently is a creep, Casey Affleck can act, and both his performance and that of Monaghan were great. Having a talented cast overall and featuring the likes of Ed Harris, Morgan Freeman, Amy Ryan, John Ashton, and Amy Madigan (and people in the “that guy” category like Mark Margolis) definitely helps. The story is always compelling (especially how there was the contrast between the detectives and the two leads, who were from the neighborhood the kidnapping took place so they could better interact with the locals) and like I said, tough decisions have to be made and to the movie's credit, there aren't “cop out” moments. I appreciated how this was a dark tale-featuring at least one character you are bound to despise with a passion-but it was not grueling or punishing. That was a relief for a story involving kidnapped children.

As an aside, as I saw someone I know recently say... plenty of movies involving the city of Boston are not happy stories, especially ones made by those who are from the area. This is no exception. Why that is the case is up for debate, but you definitely get the feeling of working-class Boston while watching this.

For a first-time director, Ben Affleck showed assured and confident direction. Before this came out, I was like most other people in not expecting him to have prodigious talent in such a role, but we were mistaken. I now regret putting off seeing something he did; in the future I'll definitely see the rest.

Of Unknown Origin

Of Unknown Origin (1983)

Runtime: 88 minutes

Directed by: George P. Cosmatos

Starring: Peter Weller, Jennifer Dale, Lawrence Dane, Louis Del Grande, Shannon Tweed

From: Warner Bros.

Somehow I forgot to log this film here until now. Whoops. I can say that Thursday night I saw Terminator 2: Judgment Day 3D on the big screen (which was awesome) and tonight I rewatched Suspiria; I still think it's style over substance and despite such a concept not always being my thing, this is the exception and it is quite enjoyable and of course still looks and sounds great; I imagine the new limited edition Blu from Synapse will be nirvana for the movie's biggest fans. Anyhow, here is me talking about this Canuxploitation horror film:

This is another movie I've known of for a long while and I've been thinking about watching for a long while but I got distracted with other films instead... finally, last night I decided to stop procrastinating and I can say this is a good film, darkly humorous but still an effective look at how someone can become obsessed to the point of losing his mind.

The plot is rather simple: Peter Weller is what would be called now a “yuppie”; he lives in New York City (although this was actually filmed in Montreal), has a wife-played by Shannon Tweed!-and young son. The wife and son hang out with her dad in Vermont, so Weller is all alone. As he needs to work on an important deal at his office that will certainly give him a promotion, it's a big problem when a giant rat suddenly invades his just-renovated townhouse. You can see where this is going... his home gets wrecked as he unsuccessfully deals with this critter and the whole ordeal causes him to lose his mind. The metaphors to “the rat race” and Moby Dick are rather obvious, and this is incredibly unsubtle in presenting those metaphors.

Much of the film is either Weller alone, him interacting with his fellow employees, or talking to two different people familiar with pest-killing. The film itself I would not say it's great but he does elevate the material. I've seen some photos of how large rats can get so the size of this thing isn't too improbable... you do see the creature do some improbable things, but I still rolled with the punches and went along with what would be a nightmare scenario for most of us, and this was a nightmare for the lead character. It is easy to feel bad for this poor schlub as he suffers his mental breakdown and plus, he downs J&B like he's in a poliziotteschi.

If a lesser actor would have been the lead, this movie definitely suffers. That is even with the cast having some familiar character actors, at least if you have seen enough old films. As is, the movie's an entertaining time.

American Violence

American Violence (2017)

Runtime: 107 long minutes

Directed by: Timothy Woodward, Jr.

Starring: Kaiwi Lyman-Mersereau, Denise Richards (!), Emma Rigby, Michael Pare, Nick Chinlund

From: Status Media & Entertainment/BondIt

What a movie I stumbled upon... in a bad way; read below why you should avoid this:

I did not even know of this movie until last night; as sometimes happen, Letterboxd is the one who told me all about it. In this case, a mutual liked a ½ star review for this, and with such a generic title I was curious. There are some brutal reviews but because of the cast and it only being 99 cents at the moment on Amazon Video (and that also applies to the HD stream), I took a chance. Well, this was indeed pretty bad; I can see why a film that has small roles for both UFC Heavyweight Champion Stipe Miocic and ROB GRONKOWSKI (yes, the goofy but very talented American Football star who is best known for acting like he's still a college fratboy even though he left college years ago) was something which is unknown to most people.

This random director has directed random recent DTV action/thriller films that judging by IMDb are not too good (such as 4Got10, WEAPONiZED, and Decommissioned) and feature the usual slumming actors in this world, such as Vinnie Jones, Danny Trejo, and Michael Pare, the latter appearing in this. I am not surprised that him doing a crime drama where a criminal is about to be executed and a big reason for his ways is that he was molested by an uncle as a kid... of course this went astray, as he was being overly ambitious doing something like this.

The full plot is that a criminal (Jackson Shea) is about to be executed but a psychologist has to talk to him first. Note that this psychologist is played by DENISE RICHARDS, and she wasn't much better than she was as Dr. Christmas Jones. I guess we're supposed to feel bad for Shea because we see his life in flashbacks; he meets a bunch of scumbags who get him wrapped up in schemes where he just has to kill people, but he's still a scumbag himself who kills people. And wait until the movie has the temerity to get preachy... actually, don't watch this movie, just don't. It's poor and has a bunch of random crap happening and when it's not dull, the film is just laughable.

Besides the people I mentioned already, the familiar names include Nick Chinlund, Patrick Kilpatrick, Michael Pare and even Bruce Dern. His character Richard Morton (no, not 80's tag team wrestler Ricky Morton), when you first see him he is basically playing Woody Grant all over again, griping about a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. But, the other times you see him, he is just a real A-hole. The film is filled with sleazy characters, and I am not going to care for Shea because he's not as sleazy. It doesn't help that the movie is a cliché bore but I wish that the veteran actors I mentioned before would find better movies to do than nonsense like this.

Then again, I wish that actresses of any age did not feel like they needed to have surgery done in order to maintain or start a career; that definitely happened with Richards and judging by appearances, she wasn't the only one in the cast to do so. That's a big problem with the entertainment field in general, the gross focus on cosmetics, but that's another rant for another time.

Even if you like Miocic and/or Gronk, neither do much so you shouldn't waste your time. The movie is not as smart as it would like to think it is, not by a longshot.

Wind River

Wind River (2017)

87% on Rotten Tomatoes (out of 129 reviews)

Runtime: 107 minutes

Directed by: Taylor Sheridan

Starring: Jeremy Renner, Elizabeth Olsen, Graham Greene, Gil Birmingham

From: The Weinstein Company

In the past I've watched and reviewed (pretty highly) films written by Taylor Sheridan, that being Sicario then Hell or High Water. Thus, I was excited to see a film along the same line both written and directed by Sheridan. Thankfully this is something I also think highly of.

I don't want to reveal too much that wasn't said in the advertisements for the movie. Jeremy Renner is a member of the U.S. Fish & Wildlife Service who works on the Wind River Indian Reservation, a real life reservation in the middle of Wyoming. He has an ex who is Native American; thus, he interacts with the residents of the area pretty well. He discovers a frozen body in the middle of nowhere, and it was of a young Native American woman. A neophyte FBI agent (Elizabeth Olsen) gets assigned to the case and of course she needs Renner's help, and not just in dealing with the locals. Loss & grief is an important aspect of the film, and not just with the parents of the victim.

This movie worked for me. I enjoyed the snowy visuals of rural Wyoming, the bleak and chilling setting perfect for the tale being told. I was always engaged with the story and was wondering who was behind the woman's death. I enjoyed the talented cast-it's always nice seeing Graham Greene in a substantial supporting role-the performance that I was most impressed by was Gil Birmingham. He was great in his small but important part. He also did swell in Hell or High Water. The movie takes its time through the first two acts; it has a memorable third act for sure.

I do get why some don't think it's as great as what Sheridan has written before-there is a clumsy metaphor which shows up only a few times and seems kind of pointless if you think about it-and despite those faults, this is a serious and mature film which has some rough moments and yet is not a grueling experience. That said, the sad real life situation where drug & alcohol abuse is prevalent on Native reservations is another important plot point. For those that also enjoyed Sicario and Hell or High Water, this is something you definitely want to take time out of your day to see; Sheridan does a swell job and probably was inspired by the directors who brought his previous scripts to life.

The Nutty Professor

The Nutty Professor (1963)

Runtime: 107 minutes

Directed by Jerry Lewis (RIP)

Starring: Jerry, Stella Stevens, Del Moore, Kathleen Freeman, Med Flory

From: Paramount

This seemed like the best thing to watch on Sunday night. I was right in this decision, as I explain below:

It was only natural to see a film from Jerry Lewis last night, considering that his death at the age of 91 was announced just hours before. I've only seen a few of his movies in my lifetime. I won't get into some of the problematic things involving Old Jerry (such as his belief that “female comics aren't funny”, or him using a certain anti-gay slur late in life) and instead note that he has made some pretty funny and entertaining movies, usually involving slapstick, which did take a toll on his body. I figured I should watch and review the most famous film he did that was Pure Jerry... in that he starred, wrote, and directed it.

As there's the famous 90's remake, I presume everyone knows the plot to this. Unlike what Eddie Murphy did, the titular professor is not an obese man; rather, Professor Kelp (of chemistry) is a gigantic nerd, a milksop, a goofy guy with buckteeth and a silly voice that matches his dorky haircut. He's bullied and he likes one of his students (Stella Stevens, which is understandable... thankfully Lewis plays a college professor and not a high school chemistry teacher!), so he wishes he could be “cool”. Those that know the remake know the rest of the plot... he drinks a potion which turns him into Buddy Love, someone who is indeed “cool”... except that he's also a real jerk.... the formula wears off at inopportune times, etc. Either Love is a spoof of Jerry's former comedy partner Dean Martin or he's spoofing himself; I've heard both theories presented.

I was amused that Jerry was willing to play both a dork who is a little off-putting and a suave character who is very off-putting. Yet it's all pretty funny. As others have noted, the movie is quite unpredictable; often you don't know what will happen next because of misdirection and thankfully the movie feels fresh with such a way of telling its story rather than annoying or obnoxious. Considering the state of comedy these days, this seems especially fresh. I wouldn't dare reveal any of the surprises, including what happens with the ending. Instead, I'll mention that the movie is literally colorful and nice to look at. There's a hip spot called The Purple Pit, then due to the great costumer Edith Head you get to see Buddy in incredible suits. While I could never pull it off, Love's first suit (light blue and black, with a pink shirt and black tie) is a tremendous look and I wish I could pull it off.

No matter what you think of the man or his movies, those Labor Day Telethons did raise over 2 billion dollars for the Muscular Dystrophy Association over the decades. I was glad I got to see something from him last night, as he was someone who entertained many people for many years.

The Mighty Peking Man

The Mighty Peking Man (Xing Xing Wang) (1976)

Runtime: 83 minutes

Directed by: Ho Meng-Hua

Starring: Danny Lee, Evelyne Kraft, Hsiao Yao, Ku Feng, Lin Wei-Tu

From: Shaw Brothers

Yesterday, I saw a cheesy movie. Read all about this mess below: 

It was about time I saw another Shaw Brothers movie, and why not watch something that's become a cult classic? Plus, it's free on Amazon Prime. Although, it is the common English dubbed version; I understand that is shorter than the original Cantonese version. It definitely explains why the motion picture is disjointed as hell, especially in the first act. S*** happens with no setup and it's jarring being thrown into the story where big moments suddenly happen and it throws you for a loop.

What a start for the movie... where the first thing we see is some random people talking in Hong Kong, a flashback to Not King Kong wrecking a village (along with an earthquake) then we immediately are in India. I suppose I shouldn't expect too much logic from a Hong Kong King Kong ripoff where there is a hot blonde white woman in the jungle because her parents crashed and died in the jungle when she was a little girl... it's just amazingly disordered. At least I know it was not filmed that way... but the way the dubbed version was cut, it was more like a butchering than a cut.

Anyhow, there's an expectation to India to look for the titular Peking Man (who is actually a Kong-sized gorilla), and a member of the party-Johnny-gets separated. He meets Female Tarzan and they fall in love. She is best buds with Not Kong. Things happen, and the rest of the movie is the basic Kong story. Thankfully, when Not Kong is loose in Hong Kong, plenty of miniatures are stomped on or otherwise knocked over... and sometimes there are even explosions and s*** lit on fire. Heck, Not Kong even saves someone from a sexual assault, which is nice of him...

If you've seen many of the Kong films, you might as well watch one of the clones that came from Kong '76, which wasn't exactly great either. At least this hokum has moments of sheer lunacy and total WTF segments.

Dark Of The Sun Is Still Great

This was confirmed after seeing the movie again last night, this time on TCM. Somewhat ironic they happened to schedule this a few months ago, before what happened in Virginia took place... if you've never seen the film, a key character is proud to be a Nazi...

That is all.

It Happened At The World's Fair

It Happened at the World's Fair (1963)

Runtime: 105 minutes

Directed by: Norman Taurog

Starring: Elvis, Joan O'Brien, Gary Lockwood, Vicky Tiu, H.M. Wynant

From: MGM

Yep, I watched a film 40 years to the day of Elvis passing away. Thankfully this was a little better than most, as I explain below: 

I was busy all day yesterday so that's why it took an extra day for me to post what I saw on Wednesday night, 8/16/17. As Elvis passed away on 8/16/77, it was most appropriate to watch something that Turner Classic Movie showed on this day. I chose this as it fit my schedule best and it was new to me. In my opinion, it's a little better than usual for an Elvis movie, at least one from the 60's.

It's the typical cornball effort you expect from something starring Elvis. If only he got to stretch his acting muscles more, but that is one of the many things you can blame on Colonel Tom Parker, someone who was pretty awful for The King's career. Anyhow, it's a silly, breezy movie where there's some humor, a few songs are sung, Elvis falls in love, he has to deal with a pal who is a doofus, etc. To be specific to this film, he and his pal are crop dusters with their biplane. They aren't the best gamblers so they get their plane taken away, to be auctioned if they can't get the dough to pay off their debts. They end up in Seattle at the 1962 World's Fair, where various shenanigans happen.

Elvis and pal meet up with a 7 year old Asian girl named Sue-Lin and her uncle. It may sound absurd in 2017, but the uncle allows his niece to hang out with Elvis, a man he only has known for a few hours. That goes well, although Elvis was a cad when it came to the ladies... and both his and his pal engage in what would be known now as “sexual harassment.” He becomes obsessed with a young nurse. In fact, he has a young boy kick him in the shin just so he can get an injury and hang out with his crush. You only see that young boy in one other scene but that was the film debut of Kurt Russell (no relation, and no kidding). How appropriate then that in 1979, Russell played Elvis in a TV movie, directed by none other than John Carpenter.

Why I say the movie's fine: sure, the plot isn't the best but at least the film is an easy watch. Sue-Lin thankfully was played by a child actor who was not intolerable or an annoying over-actor. While a lot of the movie was filmed in California (such as the big set that was the trailer park Elvis, his pal, and a henpecked supporting character who is also a gambler hang out), parts were filmed at the actual World's Fair in Seattle, 1962, sometimes referred to as the Century 21 Exposition. It looked like something I would have enjoyed attending in person, but as I was negative 19 years old at the time... that's when the Space Needle was built and a scene was set there.

Typically, the songs in these films are fine, and it was no exception here. Nothing is earth-shattering in its greatness, but they are all acceptable. To my delight, The King does some martial arts in one scene; I have dubbed it “King Fu.” I am glad I was able to watch one of his films on a sad anniversary.

Mystery Street

Mystery Street (1950)

Runtime: 93 minutes

Directed by: John Sturges

Starring: Ricardo Montalban, Sally Forrest, Bruce Bennett, Elsa Lanchester, Marshall Thompson

From: MGM

Last night I saw a film noir, and I picked one that happened to be decent. It was on Turner Classic Movies, and sure it has a famous face as the lead, but it can be argued that Lanchester's role (as a crazy middle-aged lady) is the real highlight. I give the details below: 

Yesterday, TCM spent all day showing Ricardo Montalban movies, and this film noir sounded interesting due to him being one of the stars and there being a forensics angle. I could always stand to watch more film noir, definitely. The CSI sort of thing is only part of the movie, but I still found it pretty enjoyable overall.

The plot is that a dame is found murdered on the beach in the Cape Cod region of Massachusetts. This blonde woman is a prostitute, and in fact was pregnant. Her body is found months later on the beach and Bruce Bennett (as a Harvard forensics expert) has to team with police officer Montalban to try and crack the case. No one even tries to do the distinctive Boston accent, but that's old Hollywood for ya. Anyhow, of course they are a wacky duo who don't always get along, and the cop is someone who is direct and to the point but only a few times does he come across as rude. As I am a nerd, I enjoyed the forensics stuff and how despite it being decades ago, a lot could be determined just from looking at the victim's skeleton, and superimposing a skull onto faces of missing persons can make things a lot easier.

The plot is not trying to discover who the killer was... we see the killer as he does the killing. Rather, it's watching the leads try to crack the case as various characters get involved and you see Ricardo interview suspects, do an interrogation, and other investigative work. While you can probably guess how it ends early on in the film, it is still a solid-enough mystery where I could enjoy its noir photography (from John Alton, who lensed the Anthony Mann noir movies, for example), the colorful supporting characters, and how Ricardo was shown to be a cop that does make mistakes... even serious ones.

Killer Klowns From Outer Space

Killer Klowns from Outer Space (1988)

Runtime: 88 minutes

Directed by: Stephen Chiodo

Starring: Grant Cramer, Suzanne Snyder, John Allen Nelson, John Vernon, Royal Dano

From: Chiodo Brothers Productions and Sarlui/Diamant

This is another rewatch of something I saw many years ago. It will be leaving Amazon Prime soon, so it seemed like the best time for a revisit. I enjoyed this, as I explained below:

As sometimes happens, I watch a movie soon before it either leaves a streaming service or it leaves Prime and it's not free any longer; the latter is the case with this motion picture (it won't be on Prime any longer after August 31, 2017), which I have seen before but this is another case where that last viewing was many years ago.

There isn't too much to say about the movie... it is extremely silly on purpose. On the surface, a film which "borrows" the plot from The Blob where giant aliens that look like clowns end up on Earth in a circus tent spaceship and they kidnap people & store them in cotton candy cocoons sounds stupid, but the movie is so goofy yet earnest, it's entertaining. Many of the tropes involving clowns/the circus are explored, and usually spoofed. I do have to give it props... the budget was clearly pretty low yet there are some nice matte paintings and there several sets which are well-done and colorful. While some of the acting isn't the best, John Vernon as the A-hole police chief Mooney is the best, as a pretty rotten cop who believes that suspects have zero rights.

For years, the filmmakers have been wanting to do a sequel and I hope it can happen one day, as I will presume there are enough fans of this cult classic where it'd be worthwhile. Depending on if you have coulrophobia (a fear of clowns) will determine if you find this scary or not... I say it's still fun and does accomplish exactly what it set out to do. As you have a theatrical version of It coming out soon and those clown sighting from last fall-which I presume will come back this fall because of It-it especially makes me wish a sequel to this could come out now.

Jurassic World Is Still A Bad Movie

I confirmed that last night. That is all.

Creature From Black Lake

Creature from Black Lake (1976)

Runtime: 91 minutes

Directed by: Joy N. Houck Jr.

Starring: Dennis Fimple, John David Carson, Jack Elam, Dub Taylor, Bill Thurman

From: Jim McCullough Productions

This is a random movie I stumbled upon last night and I had no idea it even existed before then. I explain how this film lensed by Dean Cundey (no, really) came to my attention and if it's any good below: 

Last night I was going to watch something else. My Blu-ray player has an Amazon app so I am able to stream movies that way. The app was on and in the recommendations section was this film, which I had never heard of before. The brief plot description stated that it was people looking for a Bigfoot-like creature in the Louisiana swamps, and that's what it was. Jack Elam and Dub Taylor were listed as the stars but they actually have supporting roles. Dennis Fimple and John David Carson were the college student leads, and even if they were both grad students and even if one of the characters fought in Vietnam, they are still the two oldest “college” kids I have ever seen.

I understand the plot is typical to the 70's Bigfoot genre; I can say for certain it's entirely predictable. The leads are from Chicago so naturally they stick out as city slickers in rural Louisiana, filled with what may be pejoratively described as “rednecks”. The residents of Oil City are unwilling to talk about “the creature” and the large old sheriff wishes they would leave. Taylor plays an old grandfather and Elam is a trapper who drinks moonshine out of a giant jug. Like I said, there are few surprises.

At least I can still say the movie is watchable, explaining my average rating. The two leads are goofy and yet they have their charm, so even if it goes long stretches without the creature showing up, you aren't bored to tears. As for Sasquatch, you never get a great look at him. It may be due to the Amazon Prime print of this being a VHS fullscreen rip, but the critter was always in the dark. At least for those that are familiar with the movie or like it enough from a previous viewing (as someone I know does), I was told that in the future, Synapse Films will release the movie on DVD and Blu-ray; at least that way it can be seen in its proper form. I am sure that would be better than any possible remake, as it'd probably be found footage and it could be condescending. Instead, the movie should remain in the 70's along with things like The Legend of Boggy Creek (it had to be a big inspiration for this) where its easygoing nature works best.

Ghost Dad

Ghost Dad (1990)

Runtime: 83 minutes

Directed by: Sidney Poitier

Starring: The Now Infamous Bill Cosby, Kimberly Russell (no relation), Denise Nicholas, Ian Bannen, Barry Corbin

From: Universal

Yes, I saw this movie last night... and it wasn't the first time I had watched this before. What a sordid tale I have to tell about this bad (and bizarre) movie; peep the details below:

My name is Blair Russell, and I once saw Ghost Dad theatrically. Yes, it is another film my mother took me to see along with my two younger sisters; I was a 9 year old when I saw this, probably the first days of July, 1990. Honestly, I don't have a great explanation as to WHY I got to see this on the big screen? .. was it my mom, was it my sisters... I dunno. I hope it wasn't me who wanted to watch the film! Truthfully, I did not remember a damn thing about the movie so it might as well have been me viewing it for the first time.

After the experience of this a second time... my mom may have been horrified at what she saw! I mean, aside from it not being good, this movie is very weird. It's not like I did not see odd things in the 80's on TV or in other movies. But it was rated PG so I imagine she wasn't expecting it to be so dark, let alone there being a joke about Cosby having erectile dysfunction-and yikes is that an uncomfortable moment now-the teen daughter being referred to as a “bitch” or Bobby Briggs from Twin Peaks (Dana Ashbrook) sticking his tongue out at the teen daughter in a cunnilingus manner. I will presume she did not like those moments or wanted us to see/hear them at that age.

The whole film, what a misguided mess it was, and like I said I had no memory of anything. It was quite the eye-opening experience realizing how strange this was. Cosby dies after a cab ride from hell from a bearded dude who worships Satan. A boy who was like 13 years old sees Ghost Dad not try to hide that he's a ghost, so the boy thinks that Dad is an alien (?!), but threatens blackmail... but Cosby threatens great bodily harm if he squeals, and that can't be the only time he's reacted that way to people threatening to expose secrets... I really did try to divorce myself from knowing what Old Bill was like in real life while watching this, but it was impossible to do so during that scene.

But back to the film; it's rather dark as you see a dysfunctional family deal with dad becoming Ghost Dad. It actually is depressing, as the mom died a few years ago and they are practically broke as dad spent a lot to try and save mom. All that goes along with lighthearted sight gags and like I said, GD sometimes doesn't try to hide him doing things when it's light out (as he can only be seen in the dark, and it takes a lot of effort just for him to interact physically) and there's the general absurdity of him trying to carry on as a living human being, including trying to finish an important deal at his job. It is so ill-judged; I imagine people don't want to track down these movies and I understand why, but in the 70's Sidney Poitier did fine behind the director's chair as he and Cosby did a few films together. This time he did not step in front of the camera also, but even if he did, this would not suddenly make this a good film. To think that Leonard Part 6 is even weirder and even worse.

Oh, and one last thing: this uses a song from a film popular among some film fans. It is not too surprising that this tune was used for The Warriors trailer, as the song fit the images and the soundtrack for the Walter Hill cult classic. Paramount was one of the companies behind Sorcerer, so that's how they were able to use the film's theme, Tangerine Dream's Betrayal. Well, Betrayal also appears in this film! Universal was the other company, so that explains it; you hear it during that aforementioned taxi ride from hell. I was shocked, then amused to see it be used in a scene involving plenty of stressful driving. It certainly beats the supporting character who is a guy named Edith... but it's pronounced "Ed-dith" and it is even less funny in the movie than it sounds from me describing it.

The Lion King

The Lion King (1994)

Runtime: 88 minutes

Directed by: Roger Allers/Rob Minkoff

Starring: An all-star voice cast

From: Disney

Yes, I got to see this theatrically; some other Disney animated films (although mainly from the 21st century) will sometimes be shown at a few different AMC Theatres locations. Thankfully, this is something I can still rank really highly. I give the details below: 

Tuesday night I was at an AMC Theatres in Tampa and I saw two movies there in a row. The second was the new Korean movie The Battleship Island, and the first was The Lion King. Yes, some AMC locations are playing it this week. The rest of the year, those places will show older Disney movies... mainly from the 21st century. Back in 1994 as a 13 year old, my mom took me and my two younger sisters to see this. I know I watched it on VHS after the fact but the last viewing had to be at least 20 years ago.

Even now this movie is still popular, with there being a successful Broadway play based on the film being a raging success. The crowd at this screening wasn't large and I wish the parents would have done a better job of parenting their children, but I was still able to focus on what is a great movie. Everyone should know the story by now... and not just because it was obviously inspired by Hamlet and possibly was inspired by the Japanese anime Kimba the White Lion. It is an enjoyable tale which works both for kids and adults; I am glad it was not cloying or obnoxious for the adults. I avoid most of the kids movies made in recent years but I understand I would likely find them to be pretty putrid. This movie even managed to do burping and farting jokes well; it has come to my attention that those aforementioned kids movies commonly have such jokes and they aren't done with any skill whatsoever. In addition, it also has nice messages for the kids.

Aside from the story and the gorgeous traditional animation and the quality songs from Tim Rice & Elton John, I also appreciate Scar for being such a villainous lion, a schemer who is totally amoral. Jeremy Irons was an excellent choice to voice such a character. I am glad I got to see this again, and in a big way. I was reminded of how Disney Animation experienced a renaissance and they made those critical and public darlings, before that changed. To be honest, I look at things like Frozen, and that doesn't look appealing to me. At least people actually watched them, unlike Atlantis: The Lost Empire or Treasure Planet. I think their negative impact on Pixar is more objectionable but that is another topic for another time, as is how this movie is getting a live-action remake which I know will be a giant box office hit but I will presume it will totally be pointless.At least this movie will always be around for people to watch and love.

The Battleship Island

The Battleship Island (2017)

Runtime: 132 minutes

Directed by: Ryoo Seung-Wan

Starring: Hwang Jung-Min, So Ji-Sub, Song Joong-Ki, Lee Jung-Hyun, Kim Su-An

From: Filmmaker R&K

After way too long, I finally saw a Korean movie... and I got to see this theatrically. I talk about it below: 

Yesterday, I made a day trip to Tampa. It was not the only thing I did, but the main event was seeing a pair of movies at an AMC Theatres; I'll review the other one tomorrow. I figured that if I had the chance to see a South Korean film on the big screen, I should take that chance. It's pretty rare one comes down here that I think I'll enjoy and don't have reservations about, which is why I did not seek out The Handmaiden. The last one for me was last August with the great Train to Busan, which unfortunately had two awful audience members that I actually would have confronted after the movie if they wouldn't have bolted out of there... and I am not a confrontational person at all. I wish people by them would have told the two to shut their cakeholes, but thankfully the crowd at this screening was much better, although there weren't many people around. More on the audience later, as they do play a part in how I rate this.

I am not surprised this has a mixed reaction here and elsewhere. Me, I can rate it highly despite some uneven moments. It's in 1945, where Japan has occupied Korea, and various Koreans are forced to work in a coal mine on Hashima Island, which is best known now for movie fans as the location where Raoul Silva lived in Skyfall. Then, Japan used forced labor, and knowing this was a Korean movie there was a chance this would be a punishing sit as it could show just how brutal it was to be there. Thankfully I did not think it was a grueling experience, although the Japanese are shown doing some horrible things and there are plenty of graphic moments. There is carnage seen-how much of it, I dare not say-and when it happens, I was glad I could see this theatrically. There also is the usage of 40's jazz... some of the people we follow are musicians in a band, so sometimes you hear that genre of music.

It's a typical modern Korean movie, including there being a character known as “crying child.” The world is brought to life pretty well, whether you were down in the coal mines or living in squalor above ground. I am biased towards movies from this country, but I will note that the movie worked for the audience. Most of the people at my screening were Korean, and whether it was nationalistic pride over seeing their countrymen doing battle with the enemy and/or what happened in the final 10 minutes, I heard some of them become obviously emotional. I know the experience of watching this at home won't be quite the same for me or anyone reading this-I am glad I got to watch it in a big way and hopefully I'll have more opportunities to watch Korean movies theatrically.

Masters Of The Universe

Masters of the Universe (1987)

Runtime: 106 minutes

Directed by: Gary Goddard

Starring: Dolph, Frank Langella, Courteney Cox, Robert Duncan McNeill, Meg Foster

From: The great Cannon studio

I rewatched this on Monday for a good reason, as I explain below: 

It was most appropriate for me to watch this film on 8/7/17, as it was released into movie theatres on 8/7/87, and I did see it on the big screen as a 6 year old-my mom took me to see it with my two sisters. I know it wasn't my first-ever theatrical experience but it was the first movie I remember definitively seeing that way. After the fact I watched it on VHS then DVD but the last viewing was a long time ago, so what better time for a blast to the past?

I understand those that don't like the movie either due to its incredibly cheesy quality or how due to the great Cannon studio was having a lot of money trouble so most of the movie is not in the universe's homeworld of Eternia but instead due to a wacky device known as The Cosmic Key that makes musical tones, those characters are in mid 80's California... I recognize that and yet due to nostalgia, I can't hate the film. I have no idea why it's taken years to get a proper He-Man movie started... 80's nostalgia is so strong now, there's no good excuse for it not happening already. While the movie may turn out to be not good, it'd still be nice for the fans to hope it'd be bitchin', and they would get to see Battle Cat/Cringer, Orko, and the other favorite characters.

This movie is quite silly and you don't want to think about the plot too much; even then, it has its 80's charms. It definitely is hardcore 80's, and not just for the plot of The Cosmic Key being mistaken for “a new Japanese synthesizer”. At least the heroes are likable, including the teenagers on Earth played by Robert Duncan McNeill and Courteney Cox; those two could have been aggravating. Those that remember James Tolkan from 80's films like Top Gun and Back to the Future will know what to expect here in his role as a police officer. I did laugh that Skeletor's minions included Meg Foster, a short silver creature, a bootleg Predator, a hairy bipedal beast, and a bald dude known as Blade, which helpfully explains what his gimmick is. And of course it's always nice seeing Dolph Lundgren, and he certainly looks the part... even if he hadn't perfected his acting skills quite yet.

But the biggest highlight is Frank Langella as Skeletor; he devours the scenery as the villain, spouting plenty of dialogue you'd expect a stage actor to spout during a play; it's a lot of fun. Other cool things include some great matte paintings & an amazing final battle that looks like the setting of a Duran Duran music video. Series fans not liking this, I can understand; I only have faint memories of the cartoon so that doesn't get in the way of me liking this. I do appreciate how the people involved tried their best with what they had, and to list an example, the Castle Grayskull set does look pretty nice. I just hope the new Masters of the Universe movie-set to not come out until late 2019-isn't a flop that does not even have the charm of this or is a product that the people involved don't really care about.

Atomic Blonde

Atomic Blonde (2017)

75% on Rotten Tomatoes (out of 175 reviews)

Runtime: 115 minutes

Directed by: David Leitch

Starring: Charlize Theron, James McAvoy, John Goodman, Toby Jones, James Faulkner

From: Many different production companies

I finally saw this movie; unlike with plenty of people, this was something I rate highly. I explain why below: 

I've been interested in this movie for awhile now; the mixed/disappointed reviews meant I put this on the backburner until yesterday afternoon. It had plenty of elements that sounded appealing to me so I was definitely hoping I would not be let down. Thankfully, I was not, although I certainly understand why many people had problems with this.

Even I can admit that it's more about the 80's aesthetic, the Berlin setting of late 1989 (right before The Berlin Wall fell), the great soundtrack-even if some of those tunes are overplayed in pop culture and I presume they couldn't get the rights to the Blondie song Atomic as that would be a natural-and the incredible fight scenes than the spy plot where Charlize Theron has to deal with such people as Toby Jones, John Goodman and James McAvoy as she is looking for what was basically the NOC list from the first Tom Cruise Mission Impossible movie; it's a list of field agents currently active and naturally a lot of different organizations and people would want to have such a list.

Early on, I knew the movie would be for me. I had heard beforehand some of the songs that would be in the film, which was fine as in general I wasn't surprised by their usage. Well, one of them begins and I was really hoping something stupendous would happen when the song hit a crescendo... and it did, and I was quite happy. I enjoyed much of the 80's songs, the score from Tyler Bates and even the synthwave that is heard occasionally. The Cold War setting was interesting and you get to see how drastically different West Berlin and East Berlin were; you wouldn't want to live behind the Iron Curtain in general, especially if you want to enjoy some of the ways of the decadent West.

As I am a nerd I dug seeing all the old cars, from a Porsche 911 to all the Lada automobiles that were the vehicle of choice for those in Commie countries. It's based on a graphic novel I have no knowledge of but I presume that was also as colorful as it could be in a world dominated by a grey color scheme; Charlize's hotel room randomly is lit in neon colors, because why not? I understand the graphic novel did not have a lesbian subplot, but at least Sofia Boutella did well in her role. All that said, it's the amazing action that makes the film stand out.

Like in the John Wick movies (no surprise, as one of the guys responsible for that directed this) there are brutal R-rated action scenes which are shot well and it is not difficult to figure out what's going on. I greatly enjoyed seeing that, especially the one that everyone loves the best, which involves a stairwell and several thugs. That was shot to appear at as a one take scene; I could see how cuts were masked but that doesn't make it any less impressive as the illusion was never broken and plus, what happened in that scene was brutal. It was moments like this which for me did excuse how the spy story isn't the best by any means.

I do comprehend how this movie would work for me because it pushed enough of my buttons, or why people would disagree with me liking this picture's story more than the plot of John Wick: Chapter 2. I am just glad I did not felt let down by this. To paraphrase the online critic Outlaw Vern, where else will you see an Oscar winner fight the star of the Bloodsport sequels (Daniel Bernhardt) and the backdrop is a screening of a highly regarded foreign film with a great rating on Letterboxd?

Delgo

Delgo (2008)

Runtime: 94 minutes

Directed by: Marc F. Adler/Jason Maurer

Starring: Plenty of familiar names, as I'll list below

From: Electric Eye Entertainment Corporation/Fathom Studios

Believe it or not, I've seen this computer-animated movie once before; how I saw it the first time was amazing, as I'll explain below: 

Would you believe that I once saw this movie in the middle of December, 2008 at a drive-in? Yes, there are still some of those around, including Florida. I watched it at the Silver Moon in Lakeland, which has been around for more than 60 years. I haven't been there for a few years but I usually look each week to see what is on their two screens. What they pair together is sometimes pretty random but this is the only time they were off the wall... what I saw Delgo with, no one possibly could predict: PUNISHER: WAR ZONE*. I swear this actually happened. The only thing those two have in common besides those being feature-length motion pictures is that both bombed at the box office.

The plot is incredibly generic: bipedal lizard creatures exist in a world with humanoids that sport wings. Of course it is a Romeo & Juilet thing with star-crossed lovers (voiced by Freddie Prinze, Jr. and Jennifer Love Hewitt) who have a forbidden romance amongst war a-brewing again between the two sides. Anne Bancroft is the main villain; note that she passed away in early 2005 and like I said, I saw this in late 2008. John Vernon has a brief voice cameo and he also passed away in 2005. They started making this in 2001! That explains who they had as the two leads. Various calamities happened which caused it to have such a long production cycle, plus of course it's an independent production too. The computer animation is better than in Foodfight or one of those bizarre foreign CG animation movies that are out there, but Pixar or Dreamworks or Illumination have nothing to fear.

I wish an independent production would be better but the story is not all that exciting (no wonder why I barely remembered any of it), you'll be reminded of many other-and better-films, and even worse, it's as if entire scenes are missing; cohesive storytelling this is not. By far the worst sin is Delgo's sidekick Filo; think “Jar Jar Binks, except far worse” and you get the idea. It was incredibly accurate voice casting if the character was supposed to be so aggravating it makes your skin crawl... Chris Kattan is the one who states its incredibly inane dialogue and blubbers like its mentally handicapped. A shame this isn't better, as it has some decent messages and look at who provides voices besides the people I already mentioned: Burt Reynolds, Eric Idle, Lou Gossett, Jr., Val Kilmer, Malcolm McDowell, Michael Clarke Duncan... I wish I could have seen a live-action movie with those people.

This isn't so heinous or inappropriate for children that I'd be offended if my 4 year old twin nephews saw it-which is more than what I can say about something like Foodfight or the infamous The Emoji Movie-but between feature length films and shorts, CG or traditional animation, there is no shortage of product for children to see for the first time or come back to that is more worth their while than this dippy motion picture.

* In the future I'll give that gonzo movie a better review; even with it being amazingly over the top, War Zone is still something I dig.

Lone Wolf And Cub: Baby Cart At The River Styx

Lone Wolf and Cub: Baby Cart at the River Styx (Kozure Okami: Sanzu No Kawa No Ubaguruma) (1972)

Runtime: 81 minutes

Directed by: Kenji Misumi

Starring: Tomisaburo Wakayama, Kayo Matsuo, Akiji Kobayashi, Minoru Oki, Shin Kishida

From: Toho

It was about darn time I got back to watching the Lone Wolf and Cub movies. This is pretty awesome, as I explain below: 

Last fall I purchased the Lone Wolf & Cub Criterion set from Amazon and because of a mistake on their part-to their credit they honored that price even after it was fixed to what it should be-I got it in a great deal. I saw the first movie last December and it's just now that I am getting around to seeing the second. The other four and Shogun Assassin, I won't go months between seeing them, I guarantee.

The plot is simple enough: ronin Ogami Itto still is carrying around his toddler son (w/ unfortunate haircut) in a wooden baby cart (or baby buggy if you're reading this in some parts of Europe), and he still has various people after him. This time he has to deal with female assassins-who early on show they are a worthy challenge to Itto-while trying to complete a job where he has to kill a turncoat who will sell the critical secret of a clan that makes indigo dye. The villains don't just use swords but also have some over the top weaponry.

Those that know the cult classic Shogun Assassin, much of the movie is taken from this film; thus, you should know how awesome it is. Plenty of claret is spilled as often you see blood spraying out of just-deceased bodies. There are plenty of action scenes where Itto mows down people and it's all a gas seeing that graphic violence and a bucketful of badass moments. That, a cool score from Eiken Sakurai and some arty moments meant this was a treat from start to finish.

There is a moment about 2/3 in where it turns into Hanzo the Razor for a few minutes, as Itto forces himself on a woman and it's entirely uncomfortable; what the scene is all about is not what you'd expect, although it still may make some want to hit the button to speed up the movie past that moment, and I wouldn't fault anyone for doing so. Even then, I can rate this chanbara classic quite highly as it's awesome for those that love the genre.

House Of The Dead

House of the Dead (2003)

Runtime: 90 minutes

Directed by: The Infamous Uwe Boll

Starring: A bunch of random people, plus Clint Howard, Ellie Cornell, and poor Jurchen Prochnow

From: A bunch of random companies

This was not my first time seeing this infamous movie. Me, I say it's not as bad as its reputation would suggest; Dr. Boll has done worse, believe me. I explain why below:

Oh, Dr. Uwe Boll... I know people don't really care about him anymore like they used to; sure, he's still online and still getting mad at people for various reasons but it's not like how it was in the early 'aughts, where many film fans despised him for making atrocious films and paying money for using videogame licenses but the films using those licenses had little to do with the games. Sure, I can say he's made some atrocities deserving of a ½ star rating (if I can track those down, I'll be a masochist and watch those again) but while I haven't watched most of his output from the past decade, I've seen a thing or two that I can say is average and from people I know, he's actually made a thing or two that's good, believe it or not. I'll have to do reviews or re-reviews to prove that saying Boll isn't all bad is not Boll Crap.

Unfortunately, this movie is Boll Crap. That's how most people were introduced to the good Doctor, and “thanks” to Amazon Prime I could watch this for free. I actually had watched this before, but that was at least 10 years ago so I had just remembered it was pretty bad. I imagine everyone knows by now that this is about some young punks arriving late to a rave held on an island in the middle of nowhere, and it's zombies all over the place. I imagine it as an even worse version of the Fyre Festival.

This movie is pretty bad, but as I stated before he's made some appallingly bad stinkers and this wasn't one of them. At least I still thought this was watchable, the cast hams it up, and it helps having some people I recognized, such as Clint Howard, Rachel from the 4th and 5th Halloween movies (Ellie Cornell), and poor old Jurgen Prochnow, who I hope received a nice paycheck for appearing in this schlock. He's a captain of a sailing vessel and his last name is... Kirk. Yes, that being his name is the joke; I should feel lucky then that there were some lines which legit did elicit a chuckle. At least there was an (overlong) scene where people stand around and shoot hordes of zombies, which is just like the few times I played a House of the Dead arcade game way back when.

But, the movie looks cheap as hell (like a softcore flick, to steal a line), the pacing is daft and it does the wonderful thing of at the very beginning explaining who lives and who dies... there goes any suspense. I did remember random videogame footage being spliced in occasionally; however, BULLET TIME being used was something I had zero memory of. What a movie of its time this was; it's great in a camp classic sort of way.

Dunkirk

Dunkirk (2017)

93% on Rotten Tomatoes (out of 315 reviews)

Runtime: 106 minutes

Directed by: A director who even after this movie I still don't care for

Starring: Actors who I wish would have been given actual characters to play

From: Warner Brothers

Yep, this is yet another Chris Nolan joint I did not love like most other people do. I explain why this is the case below: 

I realize it may appear as if I have quite the set of cojones for me to see this movie on the big screen after writing a scathing review of Inception last week; against my better judgment, I was intrigued by all the rave reviews I heard about the picture and sound & how it was based on a famous moment in World War II, which I had heard of but did not know all the details about. Well, I wish the movie would have given me more details so I did not have to resort to reading the Wikipedia article to get much more information, but alas... I also say alas to the idea of me liking a Christopher Nolan movie in general, or having to state that I have reservations and caveats with it. This guy just isn't for me, that has become crystal clear by now.

As it's a big deal, I'll mention which format I saw this in. 70mm IMAX was out of the question as the nearest location is like a 16 hour roundtrip away from me via automobile; an IMAX with Laser projector is a few hours away from me, but that'd take up an entire day and I rarely make trips that long when I am behind the wheel. Thus, I went with what is commonly known as a “LieMAX” screen as I figured I should go there rather than another Premium Large Format screen which probably would have a bigger screen, as the majority of it was filmed with IMAX cameras so it just seemed logical. Yes, it did look and sound great at least.

As to why I am not giving this a great score like most have, it is for reasons that many other people mentioned in their reviews but those reasons they enjoyed while they did not work for me. I can't say this with 100% certainty but even if I did not know beforehand that this movie would both deliberately not have characterization and be told in a non-linear matter, my opinion would not be different. Personally, I wish that there would have been more characterization instead of showing various random people doing random things. I know, they are parts of the cog of the machine that is war, I understand that. I personally would have preferred given more of a reason to care about this hodgepodge of people. I wasn't completely apathetic to them or their plight... I would have preferred knowing more about those poor young soldiers.

To me, the bigger sin was the non-linear storytelling. Just why was it done this way? I don't have a problem with it in principle; I'll give the obvious example of Pulp Fiction. When it was done there or in other films, it was for the sake of rhythm or to tell things in a more poetic manner. Here... did Nolan do this to try and “be cute”? I dunno but it ruined any momentum and pace, serving to annoy more than anything else; I had a major problem with that. Sure, I am glad there was enough suspenseful/intense moments (and other things) to where I can give it an average rating-some mutuals thought of this even less than I did-and considering how Nolan will always be bad at natural, realistic dialogue, this not having a lot of that is for the best... although this is definitely a vintage Chris Nolan joint in that too much of the dialogue is unintelligible due to piss-poor sound mixing; “great director” my ass! Too many have noted it in their reviews of Dunkirk for it to be a problem at the auditorium I saw this in. I am not sure if it needed a constant Hans Zimmer score either-getting to listen to the sounds of war on its own would have been preferable, me thinks-even if the score itself was alright, albeit only in context with the visuals.

By now it's become abundantly clear I'll never understand the popular of Nolan among film fans, the critics, and the general public. Personally, I'll get more out of reading about the battle or trying to find various documentaries about it. The cast did its best with the material given to them... yes, even Harry Styles; I thought Mark Rylance delivered the best performance, although Tom Hardy had to do most of his acting with his eyes and that must not have been easy. It's just that when you wonder what the point of it is... war is hell, most people realize that by now. I say that there are plenty of war movies which demonstrate this in a better way; even 1930's All Quiet on the Western Front does it very well, which is an example I use to convey how I did not need something brutally graphic like Saving Private Ryan to present such a message. No offense to the vast majority of people that find this to be a masterpiece... I'll always think of it as a missed opportunity to make a worthy picture about an interesting moment during World War II.