I Watched a Pair of Bad Movies

One was a revisit, but I'd recommend that you experience neither.

First was 1968's Sympathy for the Devil, an alleged documentary from douche canoe Jean-Luc Godard: 

Is it fair for me to rate a movie I shut off in disgust before 20 minutes were even completed?

Me and Jean-Luc Godard... Breathless and a few other of his early films were viewed. I liked all of them-until Alphaville. There's a smug, intolerable piece of crap. I was happy to not see anything more from a D-bag who devolved into anti-art nonsense and was a massive A-hole to boot. However, on a messageboard a few days ago, someone brought up them seeing Nouvelle Vague, the new Linklater joint concerning Godard and the making of Breathless. A short discussion of the director was had.

Besides that, I love The Rolling Stones so the idea of seeing them create the eponymous song from gestation through completion sounded fascinating. If the film would have just been devoted to seeing them create various songs on the Beggars Banquet album-a tremendous album, it is-that would have been neat. So would have been what I presumed this documentary was focused on from basic description: a juxtaposition between a song concerning Satan/Satan's atrocities committed through history with the turmoil of the late 1960's.

What we got instead: I saw some moments in the studio, which were neat. Otherwise... it was an unseen narrator delivering passages from an unknown work, something that made zero sense without any context-there were brief moments where random people were spray-painting words on random walls. However, what made me tap out and give up on this pretentious crap: a LONG scene at a junkyard.

We see what were apparently Black Panthers (reading the Wiki article on the film explained that... it also informed me I made the right decision in not seeing this to completion) reading more random narration-including a text that was horribly racist-doing random things in a junkyard, then random white women in white robes show up, and literally lie down like they're dead... honestly, my life is just too short to tolerate this insufferable garbage-remaining in a state of constant annoyance just to see “the good parts” if the rest was absolutely worthless like this was. Reading on Wiki that there's a long section in a “pornographic bookstore” which included comic books, two random people held hostage, and... ahem, Nazi pamphlets and everyone doing the Nazi salute. Sigh...

The hope is that somewhere, someone created a supercut containing just the scenes of Mick, Keith, and the rest in studio; I wasn't going to constantly hit the fast forward button. There is so much worthwhile still for me to view in the years ahead; this includes French directors new to me and those I've seen little of but wish to do a deeper dive on. To be frank with everyone, there were previous occasions in the past dozen or so years where I've bailed on a movie and never discussed it here-no, what they were won't be made public.

My annoyance level was so high at viewing not even 20 minutes of something that should have been awesome if done by someone who doesn't have their own head stuck so far up their own hindquarters... that is why I ranted & raved here. If others get much more out of his anti-art puffery, that's excellent, go right ahead. Going in different directions and not having to tolerate “difficult” directors like him is better for my cinematic tastes.

Second was a revisit of 2018's The Predator: 

This movie is in fact bad if you don’t watch it with an enthusiastic audience like I did one random August night in 2018. While not described in my original review for the movie, the crowd laughing along with all the humor was an asset in my rating being “OK” despite the crux of that review being devoted to complaints over the film. Judging by one random tweet recently stumbled upon, at least one other person was w/ a raucous crowd at their screening, enhancing the experience—an opinion shared by more than one person on Letterboxd.

Seven years later, a streaming viewing at home accentuated the flaws. Before the release in ’18, The Predator was fraught w/ controversy. More than several reshoots plus the scandal over Olivia Munn rightfully aggravated over learning that director Shane Black hired a convicted sex pest to act in a scene with her… the die was cast and the mood was sour for people even before they gave it a shot.

Well, even divorced of that, The Predator is a crummy motion picture. The plot is a complete mess; the reshoots made it even more incoherent. The idea to focus on comedy was quite the misstep, especially when the “comedy” usually landed w/ a thud. The Goof Troop that teamed up with our lead Boyd Holbrook were especially dire, but this was full of repellent characters.

Thomas Jane’s character had Tourette’s; evidently that was seen as still OK in 2018. A number of unfortunate decisions were made, especially focusing on a boy played by Jacob Tremblay who has autism & the Predator race (Yautja) thinks that people w/ autism are an evolved version of humanity! Many people w/ that affliction felt insulted by that plot point for reasons too numerous to elaborate upon.

Other nonsense occurs and truthfully, that is not worth elaborating upon either. Jake Busey has a small role as the son of the character his dad Gary portrayed in Predator 2, but it was meaningless. Those that haven’t followed me for long, you should know that the “modern humor” and all the vulgar language didn’t sit well with me. It completely falls apart in the final act, where many of the reshoots were inserted.

No one will be faulted by me for liking or even loving The Predator. After all, I have modern movie biases that are controversial and sometimes really against the grain. In this case, though, many don’t like The Predator either. However, if the gory moments are a big deal and the humor did tickle your funny bone, go ahead and be a fan. My opinion of the franchise: the original is an all-timer, the second is pretty good, and I guess Prey was fine. Otherwise… the rest I’m happy to never view or even think about again. Who knows what my opinion of the new Badlands will be.

 

Deathstalker II: Duel of the Titans

Deathstalker II: Duel of the Titans (1987)

Runtime: 88 minutes

Directed by: Jim Wynorski

Starring: John Terlsky, Monique Gabrielle, John La Zar, Toni Naples, Maria Socas

From: New Horizons/Aries Film International 

Incredibly silly nonsense, this was… yet after viewing the 2025 Deathstalker remake, I learned that was more in line w/ Duel of the Titans than the original, which I now know is correct. The director of this was Jim Wynorski; naturally, not only are there plenty of topless women and a gratuitous scene of women mud wrestling, humor is at the forefront. Yes, the acting and storytelling are craptastic, but I’m sure that is not at the forefront for those viewing a goofy send-up of the sword & sandal genre.

Deathstalker teams up with Reena the Seer-actually, Evie the Princess-to do battle against an evil sorcerer… is there any other kind? Jarek created an evil clone of Evie, you see, to put on the throne as he banished the real Evie. Stalker and Evie engage in adventures & misadventures as they journey to the castle and overthrow that SOB. Now, the movie technically is pretty bad as already mentioned; Monique Gabrielle isn’t a master thespian by any regards yet was still amiable in dual roles. John Terlesky isn’t ripped and tanned like Rick Hill was in the role. On the other hand, Terlesky was a better actor. In addition, John La Zar as Jarek was the best in terms of acting craft.

Some won’t care for a massively mindless picture like this-no hate will be cast their way. At least last night, I was able to laugh with and at the movie… the simple dialogue, the overall DIY nature, the odd score that nevertheless works, the long scene where Stalker gets his butt kicked in a wrestling ring by the tall lady who wrestled as Queen Kong in GLOW. The role of women in this sequel has aged far better than in the original-the Amazon tribe are painted with a positive brush. There’s only one short scene where men force themselves on women-a far cry from all the sexual assaults in the original. There is more than one wisecrack over Deathstalker having an erection! Don’t worry, the movie plays it lightly instead of in a gross fashion.

Heck, there’s even a blooper reel during the end credits-those elicited some chuckles. Those that like 80’s B-action might have a ball w/ Deathstalker II.

 

Witness to Murder

Witness to Murder (1954)

Runtime: 83 minutes

Directed by: Roy Rowland

Starring: Barbara Stanwyck, George Sanders, Gary Merrill, Jesse White, Harry Shannon

From: United Artists

My first movie for Noirvember, but not the last that’ll be observed during November. The film was a DVR recording from a TCM airing way back this past March; what captured my attention was the two leads: Barbara Stanwyck & George Sanders. The scenario will also remind you of an all-time classic-Witness had the misfortune of releasing only a few months beforehand.

Babs witnessed Sanders strangling a woman in his apartment through the window of her apartment during the opening credits-Murder wasted nary a second in starting the plot. He hides the evidence so the police don’t believe her story, events happen, law enforcement believe she’s a “hysterical woman” (thankfully, that plot device wasn’t as insulting as you might presume), he manipulates the scenario to get away with murder, etc. She befriends police Lieutenant Gary Merrill, a predominantly TV actor best known for All About Eve. Note that Sanders portrayed an unsuccessful author… and an ex-Nazi! 

This detail can’t be avoided any longer: Witness to Murder is no Rear Window. That is not a massive slight as it can be argued by many-me included-that Window is one of the best of all time. Aside from a lengthy sequence that perhaps should have been truncated, the movie was a pretty good time. Stanwyck, Sanders & Merrill all perform quite well in their parts. The finale is rather bold & unforgettable.

However, it was the cinematography from John Alton which was the standout. A veteran of films like Raw Deal, T-Men and The Big Combo, naturally the movie looked great-not just the interplay between light & shadow-the images always setting the mood. Witness to Murder is worthy of a shot for genre fans.

 

The Lost World (The Silent Version)

The Lost World (1925)

Runtime: 102 minutes

Directed by: Harry O. Hoyt

Starring: Wallace Beery, Bessie Love, Lloyd Hughes, Lewis Stone, Alma Bennett

From: First National Pictures

It was overdue for me to return to the era of reviewing feature length films from both the Golden Age of Hollywood and the silent era, which I haven’t done in the past several months. This was a DVR recording made from a recent Turner Classic Movies airing. I hadn’t seen this before & a 100th anniversary is a good reason for a review. Of course I haven’t read the Sir Arthur Conan Doyle novel before but to clarify, this is the full film and not the truncated version that was the only one available before various elements were combined together to finally present a complete print after all those decades. Flicker Alley and Lobster Films were behind that restoration.

The film can be seen as the old-timey version of a blockbuster. Wallace Beery (accompanied by a spectacular beard and even more spectacular head of hair) is Professor Challenger, who decrees that he found dinosaurs in the jungles of South America-however, there’s the little problem that he offers no evidence of this. His presentation in London doesn’t go well; that said, several people volunteer to accompany Challenger on his return voyage. There’s action, adventure, drama, a few scares, romance, some laughs involving a capuchin monkey, a Missing Link… for those that have only followed me in the past few months, I’m happy to bash modern blockbusters. Well, The Lost World was a lot more appealing to me than most modern blockbusters.

This regrettably has a blackface supporting character; the intertitles also reveal this white dude w/ shoe polish on spoke in a stereotypical dialect; aside from that and pacing that isn’t always on-point, overall The Lost World was a pretty good time. Naturally, the stop-motion effects from Willis H. O’Brien are still breathtaking a century later. Plenty of dinosaurs are seen walking around, flying about, or fighting w/ each other. Those aforementioned effects are the highlight although the story did entertain. One person on the journey is looking for her missing father, another was challenged by his love to do something brave, and yet another is doing it for scientific reasons, etc.

The Lost World isn’t boring; those that enjoy silent adventures stand a good chance of thinking this was an unforgettable journey. The finale was an obvious inspiration for an all-timer from the early 30’s.

Rogue Elements: A Ryan Drake Story

This is a 2024 movie released on YouTube last November. The backstory and just what this is can be read below: 

You know, perhaps Chris Stuckmann should have directed this instead…

Yes, I’m about a year late in discussing this 42 minute “TV Series Proof of Concept” from The Critical Drinker, i.e. Will Jordan. This crowdfunded project is based on a series of novels that Jordan wrote concerning CIA operative Ryan Drake… who is a British dude that works for a secret elite unit nicknamed Shepherds but that’s the least of this film’s problems. My rating has nothing to do with his political beliefs or how I feel about the viewpoints he and his cohorts have. Some of his contemporaries are far more irritating & spout statements far more offensive to many Letterboxd types.

I won’t go in-depth on that aside from noting the one aspect that everyone spotted: what The Critical Drinker rails against in his videos (including Mary Sue characters and cringe-worthy dialogue) is in Rogue Elements and I understand also his novels. Am I supposed to think that The Critical Drinker is a character who shares none of his beliefs with Will Jordan the actor portraying him? I dunno, but of course this makes him look like The Hypocritical Drinker.

The story is potboiler spy stuff; that isn’t automatically a demerit. I’d be down for even a basic DTV film as long as it had some excitement. Rogue Elements, on the other hand… Ryan Drake and some other paper-thin characters… er, I mean Shepherds go to Estonia to rescue an asset, and that’s as deep as the story goes. The dialogue is incredibly generic and unimaginative-I’m not even referring to all the F-bombs and other vulgarities although that didn’t help w/ my enjoyment either.

The story and characters can be blamed on Drinker; the constant use of musical score (which usually wasn’t really needed), the blown-out cinematography in the daytime, the editing that was either jagged or illogical… blame should fall on the director, Travis Grant. He approached Jordan about collaborating on a project; his only experience in the director’s chair are some random shorts-how many even appeared in a space such as a festival is unknown. Grant being in over his head with a $300,000+ project featuring recognizable talent in front and behind the camera that have worked on higher-profile films (even Marvel movies) can’t be confirmed but is a possibility.

The action isn’t astounding yet isn’t disgraceful either so I can’t give Rogue Elements a bottom of the barrel rating. There’s such low-budget pratfalls as bad accents and dodgy acting but I won’t punish the movie for the irony of a movie co-written by The Critical Drinker to feature cliché dialogue and “girl bosses” who defeat mercenary-type adult men in shape (no matter how he may try to justify it)-of course, it’s still quite funny and rather embarrassing for him. Even worse is that one of the two women has an RPG rocket blow up right next to them; instead of becoming vivisected, she’s… knocked off of her feet but is soon ambulatory! The recruitment of a “Russian” so he can speak Russian to a Russian guard at a lair yet the Russians don’t speak Russian to each other—preposterous.

As I didn’t know for a full year how badly this failed in the court of public opinion, the backlash against Rogue Elements likely hasn’t damaged the Critical Drinker empire too badly. Jordan has a new Kickstarter; this project will be a series of short films. As he later publicly lambasted one of the actors in Rogue Elements (the lady who depicted the titular Rogue Element) for struggling with her dialogue, necessitating the reduction of lines-English might not be her first language, you can contemplate if he deserves any of your hard-earned cash if he doesn’t seem all that contrite over the failures of his debut picture and in fact is willing to throw others under the bus.

No matter your political affiliations, Rogue Elements is bad and-worst of all-quite dull.

The Blackcoat's Daughter

The Blackcoat’s Daughter (2015)

Runtime: 93 minutes

Directed by: Osgood Perkins

Starring: Emma Roberts, Kiernan Shipka, Lucy Boynton, Lauren Holly, James Remar

From: A24

This was a request made to me earlier in the year; my apologies for waiting until Halloween night for me to see the movie. They actually requested two films—the second will be tackled sometime in the next 365 days. The only picture from Oz Perkins I’ve tackled was Gretel & Hansel; that was fine although I was never interested in seeing more from him.

After checking out The Blackcoat’s Daughter (i.e. February in several places; its more common title is better), the movie technically is good although it felt arch and as cold as its austere, snowy setting where a pair of ladies are stuck at a private school while everyone else is gone for break. Various events happen as they’re haunted by… something that won’t be spoiled by me. One aspect that is chilling: everyone’s behavior seems to be at least a little off-kilter.

Now, the movie was good between the solid direction, the nice visuals, the score, the characters, and the acting. The plot shifts perspective on a few occasions (Zach Cregger wasn’t the first by any means) and while methodically paced by even my standards, the undercurrent of dread throughout does pay off by the end. I wish the movie did not feel standoffish and I did not get fully wrapped up in the plot but I’m glad such a picture was made for a specific audience—most critically, I did NOT think it was insufferable or too snobbish like too many modern horror movies are, especially those released by this movie’s distributor, A24. Thus, I was glad the request was made.

Also, it’ll be awhile but eventually more Perkins WILL be tackled. Keeper’s trailer was viewed; I was relieved that not too much was revealed-it’s good to not have most everything spoiled even before paying a ticket for a movie at the cineplex. My official list for Spooky Season will be made public in the next day or two.

Rogue

Rogue (2007)

Runtime: 99 minutes

Directed by: Greg McLean

Starring: Radha Mitchell, Michael Vartan, Caroline Brazier, John Jarratt, Sam Worthington

From: Village Roadshow

As always, whenever I participate in Spooky Season each late August through Halloween, some of the films I expect to view beforehand was not viewed. At the same time, I’m always glad for the unexpected movies that are viewed, or the ability to see something in full that I’ve only watched parts of in the past, saw but it was before Letterboxd, or have been meaning to see for years now. In 2025 especially, those unexpected moments & catching up on movies I should have reviewed long ago has been a treat. That includes Rogue, tackled soon after release and never again until now.

This is the 21st century version of Ozploitation, an Australian film from the director of Wolf Creek; personally, the plot description of Wolf Creek doesn’t sound appealing to my tastes-a giant killer crocodile picture is more appealing. The premise isn’t too terribly complex: an American travel writer is in the outback in the Northern Territory of Australia, on a boat cruise fixated on viewing crocodiles. After encountering louts Sam Worthington and Damien Richardson-the latter actor was acclaimed on screen in his native country but after retiring… well, he’s an activist far to the right--you can read his Wiki page if you’re so inclined-circumstances happen and they’re stuck on a tiny island after the croc attacks their boat.

The movie’s not filled with gore or even a numerous amount of deaths-unfortunately, one of the kills is of a dog; rather, the focus is on the disparate group of characters who are forced to work together to escape the island. There were some faces known to me… Radha Mitchell, John Jarratt, Barry Otto for a moment, child actor Mia Wasikowska, and a “favorite” of many, Sam Worthington. At least here, he was fine—and more often than not I don’t think he’s terrible. Certainly, I could nitpick some aspects, such as some characters acting like dopes for the sake of the plot.

All that said, they filmed in a scenic remote location, there are several exciting setpieces and it was an enthralling trek, if not the most original story in the genre. A bonus is that the effects-including the CG-actually look good. The presumption is that the vast majority of killer alligator/crocodile films are useless tripe, whether they be practical effects or those putrid SyFy Channel films that presented bargain-basement CG. One day I should track down 1987’s Dark Age, a crocodile film that stars Jarratt as the hero. I haven’t seen much in that category-at least Crawl, Alligator, and Rogue are good times for entirely different reasons.