Self Made Maids

(Short # 124 in Nyuk Nyuk Nyuk: The Columbia Shorts of The Three Stooges)

An update: my sister, beau, and two young children (6 & 3 years old) arrived in Florida early yesterday afternoon; I was busy with them ever since. Today was Gatorland in Kissimmee; the moments involving alligators in Indiana Jones and the Temple of Doom were filmed there. I am just exhausted now; they will be on their own Monday and Tuesday doing other things, thus I’ll get a respite. Now, onto the review…

Those that wanted to see Moe, Larry, & Shemp dressed like women for an entire short, this is your treat. As the opening proclaims, every part of Maids (aside from the stand-ins needed on a few occasions) is played by one of the trio. Besides themselves, they are women named Moella, Larraine, and my favorite name, SHEMPETTA. Their boyfriends are Moe, Larry, & Shemp, who are all artists.

After a portrait sitting gone wrong, they become engage to each other. Unfortunately for the boys, the father of the girls-also portrayed by Moe-is against the engagements. Now, I can admit that this is rather juvenile at times and there’s an obvious instance of a line spoken by a character when his lips weren’t moving. Otherwise, IMO it doesn’t deserve the harsh reputation it has among some Stooge fans. They really don’t like Maids.

Me, I can say that there were enough chuckles for me to be satisfied, including random cutaway gags and a Jimmy Durante impersonation by Larry. There’s plenty of characters running around, and someone being “tortured” by… having their feet tickled! My proclamations of “juvenile!” weren’t unfounded. That said, this was harmless and at least was fun in part due to movie magic and a decent gimmick built around a unique gimmick… which the Stooges would do later in the 50’s but I’ll discuss that then.

Rome, Open City

Rome, Open City (Roma, Citta Aperta) (1945)

Runtime: 103 minutes

Directed by: Roberto Rossellini

Starring: Anna Magnani, Aldo Fabrizi, Marcello Pagliero, Vito Annichiarico, Nando Bruno

From: Excelsa Film

Three notes to begin this review:

* Starting tomorrow, my posting on Letterboxd will be more erratic, and when I do it may be a lack of feature film reviews. One of my two sisters is visiting for the week with her family; it was sort of a last-minute deal.

* Someone who isn’t even a Letterboxd mutual commented on my Journey to Italy review posted late in ’23 that I should at least give this a shot. I wasn’t a fan of Italy, to the point of brushing off giving the director a second chance. As the plot of Rome was from all appearances more to my tastes anyhow…

* The plot needs a real-life explanation. During World War II, Italy was of course aligned with Nazi Germany and Japan… until Mussolini was ousted in July, 1943 and a treaty with the Allies was signed. Germany then invaded, staying for less than a year but later resulting in a civil war when then in 1946 resulted in the Kingdom of Italy being abolished and the formation of the Italian Republic.

That backstory was necessary as the setting of Open City was Italy when it was occupied by Nazi Germany; in addition, they are in league w/ Italian Fascists. Various characters are followed, although the focus is on Don Pietro Pellegrini-a priest based on real-life priest Don Pietro Morosini-and Pina, the gal of a key Resistance fighter. The conflict is those two, their interactions w/ Resistance leader Luigi Ferraris, and the Gestapo’s attempt to locate Ferraris.

The film was shot under perilous conditions in Rome, filled w/ many non-actors. This resulted in a naturalistic feel as both adults and children react differently to the occupation. Even kids are used to plant bombs, for example. A key detail is that people attempt to lead normal lives under the occupation that seems never-ending; this includes an upcoming wedding. It’s a quality story, co-written by Fellini. As said too often over the years, the movie still feels relevant today.

The movie’s also haunting, especially the conclusion. Open City is anchored by the great performances from two of the professional actors, Aldo Fabrizi and Anna Magnani. This was a worthwhile recommendation and should be of interest to those interested in 40’s World Cinema. Who knows if I’ll view any more Roberto Rossellini; there’s plenty of directors that still need viewing and others that should have more of their filmography viewed. However, this was better than Journey to Italy, for certain.

Two More Shemp Shorts

Dopey Dicks: 

(Short # 122 in Nyuk Nyuk Nyuk: The Columbia Shorts of The Three Stooges)

“Detectives” is the usage of “dicks” in this case; that explanation is needed ¾ of a century after the fact. The first few minutes, this appeared to be a takeoff of a film noir detective picture. The Stooges are janitors at the building where Sam Shovel does business. Moe and Shemp are out of uniform so when Christine McIntyre runs into Sam’s room, she believes they are detectives. She leaves an address for a mansion (on Mortuary Lane) before being kidnapped by a mad scientist.

The rest is horror-flavored as the scientist and his butler are looking for a human head for his “mechanical men.” That’s right, robots. They are soon on the run from the duo as the house is full of secret passageways so there’s plenty of entertainment, the Stooges frightened out of their wits & puns as they attempt to avoid Professor Potter and his trick table which features a hole in the middle and a giant cleaver.

There are gags later used in The Addams Family, other amusing props, and quite the villainous turn from Phil Van Zandt as Potter. As there’s a great gag for a conclusion, Dopey Dicks is a very good time.

Love at First Bite: 

(Short # 123 in Nyuk Nyuk Nyuk: The Columbia Shorts of The Three Stooges)

Featuring bubblegum, spaghetti, marriage, and a Weeble Wobble sort of effect. Aside from flashbacks where the soldier Stooges met their brides-to-be in Italy, Austria, and France, the setting is one large room. The future wives are all traveling over on a boat from Europe; there are struggles decorating that include a horseshoe over the door falling on Larry, Shemp leaving chewed bubblegum all over the place, and the usual buffoonery where they slap each other.

There are plenty of new gags and laughs to be had; that includes the trio chugging an entire mug of… Old Panther Whiskey! They are appropriately sloshed; like most drunks, they are argumentative w/ each other. Moe and Shemp have a beef, and the former believes he killed the latter! Via the logic of heavily intoxicated men, Moe & Larry put Shemp’s feet in a cauldron and fill it w/ cement.

This creates the Weeble Wobble effect once they all woke up. While not the best from this trio, Love at First Bite was still sufficiently amusing.

Lone Wolf & Cub: White Heaven in Hell

Lone Wolf & Cub: White Heaven in Hell (Kozure Okami: Jigoku E Ikuzo! Daigoro) (1974)

Runtime: 83 minutes

Directed by: Yoshiyuki Kuroda

Starring: Tomisaburo Wakayama, Akihiro Tomikawa, Junko Hitomi, Goro Mutsumi, Daigo Kusano

From: Toho

I FINALLY watched all the films in the franchise box set that Criterion released back in 2016. That is the six movies Toho made plus the awesome American edit known as Shogun Assassin. To copy and paste what I wrote during the review for the fifth movie back in late 2023:

“Back in ’16 I purchased the Criterion set that was a new release at the time from Amazon because they made a mistake and listed it for I believe 40 bucks when it should have been 100. I jumped on that and thankfully they honored that price, which was fixed by the time the set was received. Slowly, the first four movies plus Shogun Assassin were reviewed; for no good reason, the last two films never got watched. I really enjoyed all of them, so about darn time, right?”

Well, there was a further delay but now they’ve all been reviewed and sometime next week a list will be posted of all those reviews; most were written when I had far fewer followers than I do now. This finale is solely devoted to the conflict in the first film: Ogami Itto has final standoffs against the Yagyu Clan, i.e. the SOB’s that murdered his wife. For those unaware, the series has Itto as a samurai badass who wanders feudal Japan w/ his baby (then toddler) son Daigoro in a wooden baby cart which I’ll say is pimped out as it features a multitude of weapons.

The final film isn’t my favorite in the franchise. There’s supernatural nonsense involving people who can burrow through the ground-the climatic final showdown is absurd, although at least unforgettable due to its snowy backdrop and the unexpected detail that there’d be dozens of foes skiing. There’s also some horror elements that at least felt fresh, along with other interesting locations beside the snowy landscape.

Otherwise, White Heaven in Hell was largely what I expected, including the visceral violence where people are stuck in the top of the head with daggers and more than once, blood literally sprays out of a body. The pacing wasn’t the quickest in the franchise, but alas. At least there’s a nice score that at times is rather funky; good on you, Kunihiko Murai.

That purchase of the box set was a wise one; it has and will be used as something to put on for background noise or to see specific bloodletting. The second (Baby Cart at the River Styx) is the best but all are well worth seeing.

Framed

Framed (1975)

Runtime: 106 minutes

Directed by: Phil Karlson

Starring: Joe Don Baker (RIP), Conny Van Dyke, plenty of character actors

From: Paramount

A belated RIP to Joe Don Baker

It was a cosmic coincidence that in month preceding his death I saw two movies featuring Baker: one of his most famous roles as Buford Pusser in the original Walking Tall and his small role in Congo. The latter was an OOT performance-then again, it was an OOT character who literally cared more about diamonds than the life of his own son. While only viewing a small amount of his filmography, there’s never been an issue w/ any of his performances with the wide variety of characters he portrayed. 

Two vastly different parts in the Bond universe, a badass real-life sheriff, a sadistic hitman named Molly, or in this case, a nightclub owner and gambler (Ron Lewis) who is in fact framed for murder who seeks revenge after parole… he could do that all well as a large, imposing figure who could portray more than such figures on screen. Framed also had a stunt that achieved some note of notoriety on Twitter over the years—as in, it’s amazing that the stuntman didn’t pass away, but more on that at the end. This not only reunited the star and director of Walking Tall, it was the last film of Phil Karlson.

It's a tough story where Lewis experiences success one night playing cards, and then that’s when things went to Hades. Law enforcement in Framed was presented as “incredibly corrupt;” insert your own comments if you wish. Now, a sexual assault occurs and many now won’t like that. I hadn’t seen Conny Van Dyke-a singer IRL-in anything before but she did a fine job as the singer girlfriend of Ron even if her role required that assault.

Otherwise, this had plenty for me to love: plenty of familiar character actor faces (John Marley, Brock Peters, Hard Boiled Haggerty, Red West, Hoke Howell, William J. Ketterling), a great brawl in a garage that is potent due to realism, and a serious monologue that Lewis delivers to… a cockroach while in solitary. The setup and time in prison were compelling, but the revenge-it was indeed sweet, sweet revenge. Framed takes its time yet I never felt a second of boredom; the general 70’s milieu and a nice score from Patrick Williams helped in that regard. 

For those that favor gritty 70’s revenge pictures, Framed is well worth a shot. Furthermore, those that love big stunts which almost went awry… it can be found on both Twitter and YouTube. The moment in question is a train colliding with an automobile; the stuntman portraying Baker rolls out of the way as the explosives in the back of the vehicle cause a huge eruption of flame & smoke. From the camera angle, the flames were either bigger than expected or he rolled out too late as it appeared to be a huge stroke of luck that this stuntman was not immolated and either survived w/ burns all over their body a la Kane Hodder or passed away. As that person wasn’t hurt, everyone can marvel at how good the stunt looked. 

Also, this was a nice way to pay tribute to the sort of actor we need more of in these modern times.

Dangerous Animals

Dangerous Animals (2025)

84% on Rotten Tomatoes (out of 132 reviews)

Runtime: 93 minutes

Directed by: Sean Byrne

Starring: Hassie Harrison, Jai Courtney, Josh Hueston, Ella Newton, Rob Carlton

From: A number of different companies

“Jai Courtney was the best part of the film” was not on my 2025 Bingo card of phrases that would be said concerning cinema. I don't have much memory of him in either Honest Thief or Alita: Battle Angel-meaning that he must have been fine-but wow, was that alleged Die Hard film atrocious and nothing he did elevated the heinousness. In addition, this is my first Sean Byrne picture; one day The Loved Ones and/or The Devil's Candy will be tackled; the former has been described as “depraved” so that's a reason the trigger hasn't been pulled yet.

Dangerous Animals has some gross-out moments and the sight of Courtney in his briefs & robe dancing to classic Aussie rock... otherwise this is relatively mainstream, albeit with quite the wacky hook. Jai portrays Tucker, a serial killer—who films his victims w/ a VHS camcorder and murders them via feeding them to sharks! His luck changes when he kidnaps an American living The Van Life named... ZEPHYR. Chuckles were had as while not an impossible name to have, it's still quite rare.

There were some moments that were scoffed at as much of this was Zephyr's repeated attempts to escape captivity on the boat. The sharks thankfully weren't portrayed as evil incarnate and this did have several assets. Courtney was the highlight, although Hassie Harrison and Josh Hueston were both good as Zephyr and her friend Moses. There were tense scenes and the film overall had a decent score along w/ a soundtrack I dug. It was nice to hear old songs I knew and even a few that were unfamiliar to me, such as the aforementioned classic Aussie rock. Shout-out to the blues-rock era of Fleetwood Mac, CCR, and the tune Evie, from Stevie Wright.

It's a movie you might like once it appears on Shudder later in the year. I was happy to support independent cinema along w/ something that is great in the field of “modern shark movies.” I know most of those are direct to TV/streaming/disc atrocities best left avoided.

Hugs and Mugs

(Short # 121 in Nyuk Nyuk Nyuk: The Columbia Shorts of The Three Stooges)

Owners of storage units selling abandoned units did not star with the advent of Storage Wars. I knew that already, but this was proven in Hugs and Mugs. After a needed day off from posting any sort of review, it was nice to watch this short then a feature film yesterday.

Series regular Christine McIntyre, Nanette Bordeaux (the first of a few appearances she made) and Kathleen O’Malley (her only appearance in the Stooge world… although she acted for decades and was in everything from John Ford’s Wagon Master to the Chris Farley Black Sheep and many random television shows in between) are dames just released from prison whom hid a pearl necklace in a warehouse but Emil Sitka just sold it to the Stooges, whose blue-collar job this time was “upholsters.” 

They used their feminine charms to distract the boys as McIntyre attempted to find the necklace. Then, the hoodlums who they stole it from also discover its location… there’s some quality physical comedy, funny lines, and the amusement of the faux seduction. All three ladies excelled in their roles and the final few minutes were a hoot; a hot iron was used to great effect. Thus, this was… sew good.