Man on the Roof

Man on the Roof (Mannen Pa Taket) (1976)

Runtime: 108 minutes

Directed by: Bo Widerberg

Starring: Carl Gustaf-Linstedt,  Sven Wolter, Thomas Hellberg, Hakan Serner, Ingvar Hirdwell

From: SF Studios

The task of fulfilling all movie requests: the task of Sisyphus! Still, I never mind receiving them.

A little more than two years ago, I tracked down a copy of 1973’s The Laughing Policeman, a cop drama starring Walter Matthau & Bruce Dern set in San Francisco & loosely based on a novel in the series of Martin Beck books, written by Swedish authors Maj Sjowall & Per Wahloo. I found the movie pretty good; a mutual left a comment referencing this film, made by Swedish filmmakers & adapting another book in the franchise. I’d known of it before; despite tracking down a copy w/ English subtitles, it took this long to finally pull the trigger; my apologies to that mutual.

The opening: a police Lieutenant (Nyman) is murdered while in the hospital; the crime was far bloodier than expected. Martin Beck is a Detective in the homicide squad; he and his colleague-including one that vaguely resembles Giovanni Ribisi-investigate the crime, using logic and reasoning to narrow down the list of suspects. Note that Nyman was soon revealed as a dirty, abusive cop… insert your own comments if you wish.

The first half has a laconic, methodical pace—I was still riveted due to the characters and plot, along with the Swedish/European flavor, which includes “random male full frontal nudity” in one scene. Eventually, the tenor changes in the second half, when the titular man on the roof appears, w/ automatic weaponry and firing at any & all police officers. This and the protagonist’s attempt to neutralize this threat was edge-of-your-seat gripping.

The minimalist jazzy score, the cold, austere setting, the matter-of-fact investigation, the bold narrative choices, the solid performance of the cast (especially the older, fleshy Carl-Gustaf Linstedt as Beck, a world-weary cop increasingly downtrodden due to revelations made throughout) … shame on me for not firing the shot and viewing Man on the Roof much sooner.

Thankfully, Radiance Film has a region-free Blu of the film-perhaps this will be a future purchase.

Fuze

Fuze (2025)

73% on Rotten Tomatoes (out of 88 reviews)

Runtime: 98 minutes

Directed by: David Mackenzie

Starring: Aaron Taylor-Johnson, Theo James, Sam Worthington, Gugu Mbatha-Raw, Saffron Hocking

From: A number of different British companies

This fuse did not light a large bomb-at least the movie wasn’t a bomb. Last fall I gave a shot to the then-newest film of David Mackenzie (of Hell or High Water fame): Relay. That was a lot of fun, a wise decision to check out theatrically as there should be more modest genre efforts on the big screen. When I learned he had a new film out this week, there was no reason for me not to grant it the same courtesy.

In the Paddington area of London-I’m a Yankee, so Wiki was needed to give the exact location-an unexploded World War II bomb was found at a dig site; in came the bomb squad, led by Aaron Taylor-Johnson. Concurrently, in the same area now cordoned off is a heist of a bank led by Theo James and Sam Worthington. Meanwhile, Gugu Mbatha-Raw is the Chief Superintendent officer in charge of this scenario.

The first act was quite exciting as Fuze cut between the police station, the bomb site, and the robbers committing the heist underground. The rest of the movie… the scenarios are more standard in the field of “crime drama” and the movie did not feel as unique as is beginning. In addition, what I feared would happen in this British crime drama did occur: a certain overused swear word (especially in that country’s cinema) was heard only a few times in Act 1 but was much more frequent the rest of the picture, much to my dismay. Then, there was the conclusion—this did not nail the landing, for more than one reason that won’t be elaborated upon.

I’m always down for modestly-budgeted adult movies being released into cinemas-more should be viewed by me. It’d be better if the characters didn’t curse like they were John Davidson, but… Fuze was fine & competent, whether it was the acting, the characters, the score, the setting, the scenarios, the action beats, etc. I don’t regret the theatrical viewing; in fact, that may have made me rate the movie a bit higher than if this had been saved later for home viewing—it’s just that Relay is more my style, more my style of entertainment.

However, those that wish to see a bare-assed Taylor-Johnson taking a shower…

Resident Evil

Resident Evil (2002)

Runtime: 100 minutes

Directed by: Paul W.S. Anderson

Starring: Milla Jovovich, Michelle Rodriguez, Eric Mabius, James Purefoy, Martin Crewes

From: Several different companies, including Constantin Film 

Would people be APPALLED that a Resident Evil movie has not been seen by me until just now? If not, I know many will be up in arms that no RE game has ever been played by me. Cultural osmosis meant I knew the basics, character names, themes, etc. but I’ve never felt like diving into any of the movie or streaming timelines.

That finally changed due to messageboard discussion concerning Milla Jovovich (more on that later) which made me realize that most of her movies have been unwatched, the news concerning Zach Cregger’s upcoming film in the franchise-that presumably will once again not be satisfying for the game’s fans that wish it’d simply follow the B-movie horror the games were based on-& the first installment leaving Prime Friday meant this finally felt like the time to hit “play.”

Yeah, “Raccoon City” and “The Umbrella Corporation” are silly names, nevermind LICKERS; no offense, game fans. However, this film as a whole… it’s fine. If I was familiar w/ the games, my tune likely will be different. As something stand-alone… most people likely know the plot-a description won’t be provided by me. An asset in this case is that the movie is slick early 2000’s entertainment & I always laugh at how films in the late 90’s to early 2000’s have a style all their own that’s different from before & hasn’t been replicated since.

Another point in its favor: I unfortunately have viewed Ultraviolet before and that is far worse than Resident Evil ’02. Are there blatant info dumps and characters sometime stating obvious information for the benefit of the audience? Sure, but the cast was fine (including Milla, Colin Salmon and Michelle Rodriguez playing the exact sort of Michelle Rodriguez action heroine character you’d expect), the production design was fine, and I enjoyed the electronic score from Marco Beltrami and… ahem, the now-canceled Marilyn Manson.

Note that the movie won’t be punished because the first installment in the franchise SHOULD have been directed by George A. Romero but those plans weren’t finalized due to nonsense reasons.

RE ’02 isn’t that scary, unless you’re frightened by CG that usually hasn’t aged well. At least there’s zombie action-sometimes involving dogs-explosions, moisture-filled utility tunnels, and jumping spin kicks to zombie dogs to make the movie inoffensive. Not that I ever need to see the other movies in this timeline, mind you.

Now, as to how Ms. Jovovich was recently discussed in a messageboard thread, someone mentioned that her new movie Protector was bad. Someone else replied, “I thought you said that Milla Jovovich was in a Predator film!” Given the quality of the majority in that franchise… why not have her star in one as a badass woman? Her husband’s direction wasn’t terrible here—that doesn’t mean I wouldn’t have serious reservations about him having another crack at the Predator alien!

Girl Shy

Girl Shy (1924)

Runtime: 89 minutes

Directed by: Fred C. Newmeyer/Sam Taylor

Starring: Harold Lloyd, Jobyna Ralston, Richard Daniels, Carlton Griffin, Nola Luxford

From: Pathe Exchange

Harold Lloyd… INCEL?!

Last night this film played late at night on Turner Classic Movies; I’m always down for Lloyd, whether it be his shorts or feature films. The conceit of the movie is great by 2026 standards.

He plays a literal stuttering fool who is petrified of women, yet he has an author persona he created for a non-fiction manuscript he’s attempting to shop around where he cosplays as a lothario who tells other young men how to woo women. So yes, just like many males on Twitter and Reddit… once he meets Jobyna Ralston, his demeanor changes and the viewer desires for those two to eventually start a relationship. There are complications along the way, including her having a much-older suiter. 

No one should be concerned over Lloyd’s character as a loathsome creature like an actual incel; he’s as charming as ever so is frequent collaborator Ralston. The first hour sets the table; there are funny moments weaved throughout but the focus is on the story & the romantic angle, which includes actual dramatic moments for Lloyd. The rest of the film has a ticking clock he’s racing against and the biggest laughs are saved for the finale. It has the creative moments & slapstick I always enjoy from Ol’ Harold.

This isn’t my favorite from Lloyd overall; however, the final act is tremendous, well worth viewing the setup as the payoff was (motioning w/ my hands) chef’s kiss. It couldn’t be done exactly this way 102 years later, because of reasons I won’t spoil. However, I’d love to see a modern version of it, an epic rush to reach a destination involving many perilous moments.

Chernobyl Diaries, Revisited

What better way for me to acknowledge the 40th anniversary of the Chernobyl nuclear disaster than finally giving this movie a better review? Yes, that happened on April 26, 1986.

After taking a break from watching films both Friday and Saturday, this film was watched for the first time in about 13 years earlier today; the only thing I recalled before today was a moment or two… and a hysterical Russian named URI. He was more enjoyable than the goofball irritating quartet of young American adults who are on a European vacation and the biggest jackass of the group randomly meets Uri, who does “extreme tours” of Pripyat, the city right by the nuclear power plant.

I had no memory that the quartet of Americans were joined by a New Zealander and a Norwegian, who weren’t quite as frustrating. But man, was Uri great. He’s exactly what you’d imagine “middle-aged former member of the Russian military who does tours in an old UAZ military van” to look and sound like. After wandering around the ruins in the abandoned town (to the film’s credit, they did create or find reasonable facsimiles of Pripyat as they filmed in Hungary or Serbia, including the Ferris wheel in the town’s amusement park that’s one of the most famous images of the ruin), things go wrong as they have to sneak in but are stuck in town, because reasons.

The movie has a found footage flavor-everything is shot on handheld cameras-without actually being found footage except for one scene. Not a surprise, given that a co-writer and producer was Oren Peli, of Paranormal Activity fame. At least he has that franchise along with Insidious, although when it comes to his limited writing credits, the first PA is by far the highlight. The Chernobyl Diaries is the standard nonsense w/ expected jump scares & goofball young adults you probably want to see suffer gruesome fates.

The setting being decently brought to life and the Uri character (I was saddened when it was just learned that actor Dimitri Diatchenko passed away around this time 6 years ago) were not enough to make this standard, predictable film better than average. There’s no need to check out the film unless you have at least a small obsession w/ what happened at Chernobyl… and you might shake your head at how the victims of the tragedy were portrayed.

Body Bags

Body Bags (1993)

Runtime: 94 minutes

Directed by: John Carpenter/Tobe Hooper

Starring: Many familiar faces, including Robert Carradine (RIP)

From: Showtime

A belated RIP to Robert Carradine. While it took two months, this does not mean that I wasn’t bummed to hear about his death. The circumstances are especially rough; no hate on him or anyone else who struggled that much with those particular personal demons. It was always nice seeing him in a role, whether it was in Revenge of the Nerds, The Long Riders, or Escape from L.A. Of course, I never watched Lizzie McGuire but I’m glad that Carradine was able to work for decades & more importantly, had a loving family & judging by random Instagram posts that were in my feed two months ago, had many friends.

This is a Showtime TV movie which originally was to be that network’s version of Tales from the Crypt, but the show wasn’t picked up. A shame; John Carpenter was a hoot as the host, The Coroner. Like w/ The Cryptkeeper, he looked decrepit as terrible lines & puns were uttered.

The first segment was The Gas Station; me and many others find this to be the best. Carradine was Bill, who clocked out as new employee Anne clocked into the overnight shift at a 24 hour gas station convenience store in the middle of nowhere. He gives her the basic info then it was peace out for him as Anne works alone. Several customers are met, but there are reports that a serial killer is loose…

The Gas Station was the highlight in the eyes of me & many others. Several wacky guests visited the station (those were fun cameos) and chuckles were had. However, once the killer made their presence known, the suspense was cranked up and the experience became a fun ride. For many, the scenario of being stuck alone in an isolated location at night w/ a serial killer is utterly terrifying, but it has to be 10 times so for those that identify as female.

For those that identify as male, Hair will be chilling on its own if you experience thinning hair or otherwise are losing those follicles. There’s plenty for me to be neurotic about but at least what's on top of my head isn't. Stacy Keach is so hung up on this, he doesn’t listen to his girlfriend Sheena Easton’s proclamation that it isn’t a big deal to her. He visits a clinic seen in a commercial; yes, he does get new hair (holy cow, was it a hysterical look for him) but the other shoe drops, and suddenly he regrets his vanity. Hair is the most outwardly funny segment but the horror moments still do hit.

Unlike Carpenter’s The Gas Station and Hair, Eye was directed by Tobe Hooper. Mark Hamill (w/ mustache & Southern accent!) is a minor league baseball player likely to be called up to Major League Baseball. However, he loses his eye in a nasty car accident; luckily for him, doctor John Agar proclaims he can perform an eye transplant. As it’s from John Agar, of course Hamill and his girl Twiggy soon regret the transplant. The biggest surprise wasn’t even the Biblical subplot; rather, it was a fully-nude Hamill!

As with all anthologies, the bits vary in quality but thankfully all were at least good and provided variety. The practical effects were a breath of fresh air in 2026 as was the score from Carpenter, w/ Jim Lang. I was happy that the cast was full of familiar faces, no matter how small their role; everyone from Buck Flower and Charles Napier to David Warner, Debbie Harry, & Roger Corman.

While I wish it wouldn’t have taken a sad death from a legendary acting family for me to finally tackle Body Bags, this was a good selection for me to tip my cap to the late Robert Carradine.

Kinjite: Forbidden Subjects

Kinjite: Forbidden Subjects (1989)

Runtime: 97 minutes

Directed by: J. Lee Thompson

Starring: Charles Bronson, Perry Lopez, Juan Fernandez, James Pax, Peggy Lipton

From: Cannon

This was as sleazy as I’d always heard for years. That means “very” in this case. Curiosity got the best of me; I’m always happy to see something from Golan-Globus, and/or Charles Bronson. Wow, is it ever trashy & offensive. Most likely, “they don’t make ‘em like they used to” is a good thing in this case.

I knew this would be quite the film immediately; the opening featured a guy opening a briefcase, the contents of which included latex gloves, a whip, a jar of Vaseline… and a DILDO. What followed was Bronson as a Lieutenant in the Vice Squad of the LAPD who does some funny unethical things in dealing with child traffickers but is also racist, especially against Asians in general.

Some time is spent in Japan w/ a business named Mr. Hada (who has a family but is a perv who is an implied HENTAI reader and for certain enjoyed seeing a woman sexually assaulted on the subway) and it takes some time to discover how those two plots intersect. What followed included:

Multiple people snorting coke

Another example of a woman being groped

The unfortunate “all Asians look alike” stereotype explicitly mentioned

Other dated stereotypes are brought up, including against homosexuals

Bill McKinney portrayed… a PRIEST

A scene at an arena football game; the PA announcer states there’s a player known as WIMPY POWELL. This is also apparently a great spot for predators to hunt for their next victims.

Fears of the Japanese buying property & businesses in the United States which sound exactly like the fears that some have over the Chinese doing such things now.

A hysterical period score that screamed “late 80’s.”

And so much more. The most offensive moment might not even be a joking comment concerning a priest molesting someone’s nephew!

Especially in 2026, the movie is shocking with the number of moments and dialogue that are in questionable or downright poor taste. At the same time, there was enjoyment to be had at how outrageous the movie is, along with less controversial moments such as the few action beats there are, explosions included. As always, it’s nice seeing Charles Bronson.

This was the last film directed by J. Lee Thompson; for someone that was the director of Cape Fear, the Guns of Navarone & Conquest of the Planet of the Apes, what a note to go out on. Obvious editing during certain moments made it clear that Bronson was at the end when it came to the action films. No shame there; it wasn’t long before he would turn 70.

There are better collaborations between star and director, for sure. However, for those that seek out sleaze & trash and enjoy offensive cinema…

Heroic Times

In the first of two reviews I'll post tonight, I discuss what was seen on Tuesday night: a unique Hungarian animated motion picture.

Another post on Twitter gave me a push to see a film. I only heard of the Hungarian animated epic Heroic Times once Deaf Crocodile (a label I’ve been happy to discuss more often as of late) released the film on Blu in 2023. Last week I saw a Tweet from the account Old Media which proclaimed: “It took 6 years for a group of 10 artists to create over 40,000 oil paintings for the Heroic Times (1983) creating a unique animation style.” Thankfully, the esoteric Eternal Family streaming platform had this film available.

The film-narrated by our lead-is based on The Toldi Trilogy, a trilogy of poems by Janos Arany concerning a real-life 14th century Hungarian-Miklos Toldi-who became a folklore figure that went on a journey to become a knight. He was a working-class peasant due to circumstances but he rose up due to suck tasks as kicking a bull’s ass (no, really); this was what you’d want in an epic journey: love, battles, serving your King, a feud with your brother, capture, revenge, redemption, etc., all set to a loud, bold symphonic score from Tibor Erkel and Janos Decesnyi. 

As a story unknown to me until last night, I was always captivated. Naturally, the keystone reason for that was the marriage of the score and the awesome aesthetic of the oil painting animation. The film unfortunately wasn’t a box office smash; thankfully, this was restored by Hungary’s Film Institute and people worldwide can enjoy the efforts of those 10 artists, the composers, and director Jozsef Gemes.

Of course, I do know of 2017’s Loving Vincent and 2023’s The Peasants, both from British filmmaker Hugh Welchman, which uses a similar animation style of oil paintings. Neither has been seen by me (not yet, anyhow) but I’m happy that styles like this and stop-motion are still in use today. Computer animation is great and all-depending on the aesthetic style, at least-but I’m glad a wide variety of traditional animation has not gone extinct.

The Valley of Gwangi

The Valley of Gwangi (1969)

Runtime: 96 minutes

Directed by: Jim O'Connolly

Starring: James Franciscus, Gila Golan, Richard Carlson, Laurence Naismith, Frida Jackson

From: Warner Bros. 

“A Western featuring dinosaurs” will immediately capture my attention; so will “effects from Ray Harryhausen.” Ultimately, it was a Twitter post from a few months ago that praised the film & its aesthetics-especially the finale-which made me happy that TCM recently played Gwangi-the DVR was used.

The setting: “South of the Rio Grande, at the turn of the century.” James Franciscus-named TUCK KIRBY-literally rides into town; he works for Buffalo Bill’s Wild West Show. The town has its own stunt show and Kirby’s ex naturally is a participant. Hidden away is a tiny horse from the prehistoric era; I mean “tiny” as in “the size of a small dog.” They and other colorful characters (including some stereotypes that were known then as Gypsies but I know they prefer the term “Romani” instead) discover that a valley is full of dinosaurs-the spotlight dino is the titular Gwangi… NOT a T-Rex as is the common misconception but rather an Allosaurus. That is captured & this turns out as well as you’d expect.

The first half establishes the characters & setting; the second half is when the dino action occurs, and it’s a blast due to the always-incredible stop-motion effects from Harryhausen. The movie is reminiscent of better efforts from the past, chiefly King Kong. That is appropriate; Ray’s mentor Willis O’Brien (who of course created the effects for Kong) wanted to make Gwangi for years but he passed away. His protégé provided the stop-motion instead.

Are there better Harryhausen movies? Indeed. That does not mean that The Valley of Gwangi isn’t a fun time nor is there a lack of fun to be had from Gwangi vs. an old elephant or Gwangi being lassoed by multiple cowboys on horses. This likely entertained audiences in ’69 & thankfully entertained me as a wacky B-movie in 2026.

 

Rain

Rain (1932)

Runtime: 94 minutes

Directed by: Lewis Milestone

Starring: Joan Crawford, Walter Huston, Matt Moore, Guy Kibbee, Beulah Bondi

From: United Artists 

It’s been over a month since I’ve seen any Pre-Code movies from the 30’s, and quite awhile since one that chiefly was a drama. Rain was DVR’ed from a recent TCM showing; the cast and premise intrigued-this was the right choice to DVR, especially knowing that the channel used the new restoration print of the movie. Concerning Joan Crawford, those Mommie Dearest rumors are just that to me, allegations from a source that apparently is unreliable.

I was happy to see her play a fiery prostitute-whose opening scene was legendary-stuck w/ others in Pago Pago (the capital of what is now American Samoa); their ship was grounded due to fears of cholera. She eventually falls under the spell of a charismatic missionary portrayed by Walter Huston. He offers salvation but his Alfred Davidson represents the worst, the most devious stereotypes of religion. He schemes to control her and is overall a bad human being, who does a vile act late in the movie. His religious zealotry was a mask, a façade that hid his most base instincts.

It was easy to loathe Alfred Davidson, while it was easy to feel sympathy for Crawford’s Sadie Thompson & how she was manipulated due to her past and insecurities. The film features acres of interesting dialogue in a suffocating atmosphere-the film accurately portrays American Samoa as an area of constant precipitation; that detail is not just for metaphor purposes-shot well by director Lewis Milestone and cinematographer Oliver T. Marsh. Sound is key; the rain and native drums heard in the final act are great when the two leads have an important conversation w/ each other then he is impassioned & performs that vile act.

The cast delivered, whether familiar to me or not; it is always nice seeing Beulah Bondi & Guy Kibbee. This was a very interesting, compelling drama concerning religious hypocrisy-the type of movie you only could have witnessed in the Pre-Code era. One wild moment occurred in the final act-Kibbie’s character was a favorite, and not just because he had a fuller-figured Samoan wife and ran the town’s bar. A brief scene showed him reading aloud passages from a book written by Nietzsche. He goes outside on the porch during a rainfall-disappearing from camera view-but it definitely sounded like he… urinated! It would explain the telltale sigh he made.

I should never be surprised by the wild moments that are discovered in Pre-Code cinema.

The International

The International (2009)

Runtime: 118 minutes

Directed by: Tom Tykwer

Starring: Clive Owen, Naomi Watts, Armin Mueller-Stahl, Ulrich Thomsen, Brian F. O'Byrne

From: Columbia/Relativity Media

I shouldn’t have listened to the naysayers & watched The International much sooner. Ever since its release 17 (!) years ago, plenty of static has been heard over the movie having one great scene-and it was a great action scene-but the rest was a “dull” thriller that was flawed. Yes, International has its flaws & that one segment eclipses everything else—I was still enthralled with the movie.

Interpol agent Clive Owen & assistant New York DA Naomi Watts investigate a European bank based in Luxembourg that engages in many shady activities (money laundering, arms trading, and the like) but are untouchable due to their connections. The movie is methodically paced as the villains use clandestine activities to silence whistleblowers while the heroes use various tricks to track down associates of the evil bastards at the bank. The film doesn’t have much action aside from the one big scene (a famous NYC building that was recreated in Germany for the film) but there’s plenty of intrigue and thrilling moments.

As an aside, the film has a nice cast; Owen and Watts are both actors I still haven’t seen enough of. There are also some That Guy actors who have familiar faces. In addition, Armin Mueller-Stahl is still alive at the age of 95-I definitely haven’t seen enough of his work but that’s an issue I’d like to fix. I’ll give him props while he’s still alive-he and Owen had the best non-action scene and it was simply them having a serious conversation w/ each other.

Now, there are regrets that the movie wasn’t watched theatrically way back when-or at least sometime at home before last night. A film like this w/ a methodical pace that was nicely-done by director Tom Tykwer that had a nice score and shot in various locations across Europe (including a far better usage of Istanbul’s rooftops than the foolishness Taken 2 presented!-this is my sort of jam that aligns well w/ my tastes, even with valid criticisms that can be made, such as the decreasing presence of Watts & her character in the back half of the picture.

Thankfully there are resources I can use to find similar movies that should be viewed one day by myself.

Ferris Bueller's Day Off

Ferris Bueller's Day Off (1986)

Runtime: 103 minutes

Directed by: John Hughes

Starring: Matthew Broderick, Mia Sara, Alan Ruck, Jeffrey Jones, Jennifer Grey

From: Paramount

Getting to see this film on the big screen was a delight. Yeah, I’ve viewed Ferris Bueller’s Day Off before-as a kid, meaning “decades ago” by this point. I was happy that several cinema chains are playing the film once a day for the upcoming week; this beats the pants off of the modern “comedies” that are releasing soon, at least judging by the trailers that played beforehand-more on that at the end.

Of course, for years I’ve known the belief that some find Bueller to be a “sociopath” or a similar negative presence who causes havoc & is annoying, especially to his hypochondriac friend Cameron. Yes, he’s a slacker teen who has a truancy problem & I do get why his sister and even his Principal-Ed Rooney-would be irritated by his antics.

Yet, character growth occurs and Ferris matures as he engages in those wacky antics in Chicago; more importantly, throughout the film you see that not only does he care about his girlfriend Sloane, he especially cares for Cameron & is willing to take the rap for him after a bad moment occurs in the final act. Likewise, Cameron matures and decides to be more assertive in his personal life.

The film is still quite funny 40 years after the fact; the lead trio are amusing as they engage in their antics across Chicago-everywhere from Wrigley Field to the Art Museum. Ferris & his constant 4th wall breaking as if he was Bugs Bunny-to steal a line from elsewhere-helped make this feel fresh even in 2026. Rooney made for a great foil; Jeffrey Jones is IRL a bad person-don’t ask me to explain why if you don’t know-but he was a highlight. Even the small parts from the likes of Ben Stein and Edie McClurg were unforgettable themselves, for different reasons.

As someone who lived about an hour and a half Northwest of Chicago in the 80’s and 90’s during my childhood, it was a delight to hear the music of that period and see the Chicago of 1985. Even now, several lines of dialogue and moments are iconic, including the unforgettable parade dance number done to a Beatles song. The film made me realize that John Hughes is still missed.

Ferris Bueller’s Day Off looks even better compared to the modern “comedy” trailers that played beforehand. I Swear is award-winning & finally will play in the United States soon. Guy Ritchie’s new movie I hope will be fine, although the trailer didn’t entirely convince me. Otherwise, it was various degrees of atrocious, the nadir was something that looked like a bad Tubi film! It was a spoof film starring RuPaul & several other drag performers.

I hate to state that it probably made something like Epic Movie look tolerable, but a huge issue was that it undoubtedly was the worst trailer I’ve ever seen. It wasn’t just unprofessional and something that was worse than what one of us could have made… I don’t believe the trailer ever showed or stated what the TITLE OF THE MOVIE WAS! I swear this is true. No wonder I never view modern “comedies.”

Hickey & Boggs

Hickey & Boggs (1972)

Runtime: 111 minutes

Directed by: Robert Culp

Starring: Culp, Bill Cosby, Rosalind Cash, Vincent Gardenia, Carmen

From: United Artists

Finally, I checked out a movie that’s been on my figurative watchlist for years. As it’s a 70’s crime drama involving private investigators, there shouldn’t have been this long a delay, even if the lead is… ahem, Bill Cosby. Even with him, I can separate the art from the artist.

He and Robert Culp (who also directed) are Los Angeles private eyes who investigate the case of a missing woman, which of course is far more complicated than it first appears. A recent mutual on Letterboxd could write about this far better than I, but the script (from Walter Hill!) wasn’t written to have the pair be Black and white.

Cosby’s character was the focus, and it was refreshing for an early 70’s movie for him to not be presented differently due to skin color. He was an average Joe (or Al, in this case) who smoked stogies, ate chili dogs, had a fractured relationship w/ his girl-the same as his partner-and was an equal. There’s also a subplot involving a Black Power group; in addition, there are several “Chicanos,” to use the nomenclature present in the end credits.

I never saw the 60’s show I Spy-starring the two leads of this film-even in reruns as a little kid in the 80’s yet I understand the show was light in tone-in contrast, Hickey & Boggs was gritty and dark at times. Hill’s script was naturally changed for the film and he wasn’t entirely satisfied. Me, I enjoyed the movie for what it was.

There’s scenic SoCal locations, the usage of two iconic sporting venues (LA Memorial Coliseum, Dodger Stadium), shootouts, familiar faces in supporting parts-everyone from Isabel Sanford and Rosalind Cash to (briefly) Ed Lauter and James Woods-speaking of separating the art from the artist. If Cosby isn’t a deterrent to you watching the film, you’ll see that he did a rather good job in a dramatic role where he had to be mean & looking for revenge in the final act after a calamitous moment. Otherwise, this is the sort of 70’s movie I dig and should have tackled years ago.

Shanghai Surprise

Shanghai Surprise (1986)

Runtime: 97 excruciating minutes

Directed by: Jim Goddard

Starring: Sean Penn, Madonna, and other actors who presumably were embarrassed to appear in this trash

From: MGM/HandMade Films

A movie I’ve actually seen before… but will never view again. A mutual’s recent review of the film reminded me that this was seen long before joining Letterboxd. If nothing else, checking out a crummy film at least once in awhile adds variety plus possibly will be entertaining for those that like bad motion pictures being roasted.

This film is indeed bad, a de facto honeymoon for then-newlyweds Madonna & Sean Penn in Hong Kong where they weren’t the right choices for the parts of a 30’s-style adventure where Penn was a con-man (who looked like he hadn’t slept for about a week during his opening scene… which might have been method acting) who teamed up w/ missionary (!) Madonna in a wacky tale involving opium… but the details aren’t important. 

Penn was trolled to constantly lash out at paparazzi and they both acted like Ugly Americans; the production was a disaster for this and many other reasons. The current most popular review for the film on Letterboxd is from a Mr. Mark Cunliffe; he explained the problems quite well, based on a book about HandMade Films, the production company co-founded by George Harrison & Denis O’Brien. Those echoed the stories I heard about this film elsewhere. Penn was the keystone reason why this production turned sour. His review explains why quite well. 

The plot is an incoherent mess and perhaps it isn’t a surprise that the leads did not stay married given their lack of chemistry on-screen. Yes, I do know the horrifying allegations concerning Penn’s behavior towards his then-wife… Lord I hope they aren’t true but who knows. He wasn’t committed to this role and while Madonna isn’t always poor as an actress, she was out of her element here, & definitely not helped by her listening to her husband rather than director Jim Goddard-a veteran British TV director-when it came to acting tips & characterization. 

This is not all terrible; Maurice Binder styled the opening credits, the production design was fine and George Harrison sang a few new songs. Unfortunately, judging by their lyrics alone, I can only assume Harrison was high on opium when he wrote them! I hate to bash an ex-Beatle but My Sweet Lord and What is Life, those tunes weren’t. Then again, perhaps I shouldn’t be so harsh; the nightmare of this production caused him to increasingly become involved and started the riff w/ O’Brien that ended their reign at the company & caused it to be subsequently owned by some random entities for a few more decades, Lock, Stock and Two Smoking Barrels by far the sterling moment there.

Point is, Shanghai Surprise is another flick where the behind-the-scenes brouhaha is far more enthralling than what appeared on screen. Not even the presence of familiar faces in supporting roles-Professor Toru Tanaka, Victor Wong, Clyde Kusatsu, Paul Freeman, Richard Griffiths-could alleviate the pain, the confusion of this motion picture. Shanghai Surprise can be skipped by even bad movie fans—IMO, this disaster is a miserable sort of putrid rather than a funny putrid experience.

The Torture Chamber of Dr. Sadism

The Torture Chamber of Dr. Sadism (Die Schlangengrube und das Pendel) (1967)

Runtime: 83 minutes

Directed by: Harald Reinl

Starring: Lex Barker, Karin Dor, Christopher Lee, Carl Lange, Christiane Rucker

From: Constantin Film

Yes, I watched this movie as it’s called The Torture Chamber of Dr. Sadism. This West German production I’ve known of for years; nevermind how, but I found a copy 83-minutes long rather than the 80-minute cut that is usually found on platforms like YouTube. The plot is loosely based on The Pit and the Pendulum.

In 18th century Germany, Count Regula (Christopher Lee!) murdered 12 maidens in a failed attempt to achieve immortality; he’s captured, then drawn and quartered. Around 35 years later, Regula resurrects to seek vengeance on the children of those responsible for his demise. For those that love the Gothic vibes of 50’s and 60’s horror movies-especially those from Europe-you may be delighted by this also.

There’s fog, buildings in ruins, a charming little village, spooky scenes set at night, creepy images, riders clad in black cloaks on black horses, an old castle that’s an absolute delight, etc. There is also in fact a torture chamber and a pendulum in the castle. This does not rise to the heights of more familiar Gothic favorites yet was still a good time. After the opening, Lee does not resurrect until the final 25 minutes; that was alright w/ me considering the presence of several wacky side characters, along with the leads-Lex Barker and the always-lovely Karin Dor.

While not a must-see, I was happy to have finally tackled this after years on my figurative watchlist. The sets and atmosphere alone made the journey on the horse-drawn carriage worth it.

The Day the Earth Stood Still

The Day the Earth Stood Still (1951)

Runtime: 92 minutes

Directed by: Robert Wise

Starring: Michael Rennie, Patricia Neal, Billy Gray, Sam Jaffe, Hugh Marlowe

From: 20th Century Fox 

As sometimes occurs, messageboard discussion steered me in this direction. Someone was discussing “smart sci-fi” as he didn’t love Project Hail Mary like everyone else. He listed the likes of 2001, Solaris, and They Live. I offered other suggestions—everything from Phase IV to obscure (at least in the West) Soviet sci-fi such as Nebo Zoyvot. He did reference this film but did not put it on his list as the last viewing was eons ago. Well, I am APPALLED at myself as this was a first-time viewing.

Of course, I knew the premise and one line of dialogue is part of the cultural lexicon, but I was happy to have finally checked out this classic. A UFO lands in Washington, D.C.; out steps Klaatu, a Christ parable-but not too overbearing in that theme-humanoid alien and GORT, a giant robot. Gort is a funny name but their message of world peace during the start of the nuclear arms race lest Earth destroys itself was powerful then… and unfortunately still potent 75 years later due to its relevancy, especially right now in April, 2026.

The film is correct in being cynical over how humanity would react to an alien, all negative emotions present. Yet, there’s still a nice message of hope, that we would ultimately not destroy our planet over petty squabbles or needless escalation. Scenes where child Bobby (thankfully a child actor that wasn’t too irritating) goes with Klaatu in visiting important Washington, D.C. only accentuated this point. 

Earth was well-directed by Robert Wise, featuring a compelling story and memorable, theremin-driven score from Bernard Herrmann. This motion picture is smart sci-fi… not just because scientists are viewed highly & play a critical role in the plot. Remember: Klaatu Barada Nikto.

The Caller

The Caller (1987)

Runtime: 97 confounding minutes

Directed by: Arthur Allan Seidelman

Starring: Malcolm McDowell, Madolyn Smith Osborne

From: Empire Pictures

What in the world WAS The Caller?!

I’ve known of The Caller for years, how it’s a true two-hander in that only two actors appear: Malcolm McDowell and Madolyn Smith Osborne, as she’s known as now. However, the details aside from the premise of “a man visits a woman out in the woods, looking to use her telephone as his car’s inoperable” was unknown. Seeing that this was an Empire Productions effort and Charles Band was involved was a major surprise.

I figured the movie was more than its premise… and it was. The first act was off-kilter as they met each other and talked in the house. The second half became bizarre, then the final act was absolute berserk. I’ve hearted some reviews that mutuals made in the past but I did not remember there even was a twist. Imagine my shock… 

The big twist (one that makes me proclaim, “Eat your heart out, M. Night Shyamalan!”) was not something that anyone could have predicted, the explanation for why The Caller is increasingly off-the-wall. It does raise more questions than answers, as others have noted… to clarify, it’s typically no issue with me if a movie’s ambiguous or requires the viewer to speculate on certain plot points.

Now, I admit that there are stretches where the movie is spinning its wheels, biding time. The acting was at least quality throughout; McDowell going all outré & bold wasn’t a surprise-I hadn’t seen as many films from Smith but she was BOLD herself, especially as the movie increased its bonkers factor. The picture was well-made in Italy, featuring an appropriate score from Richard Band and subtle moments you might pick up on eventually like I did; that’s one of a few points in its favor.

It'd be a crime to reveal any more; it’s only a lack of attention that it isn’t a bigger cult favorite, despite a Vinegar Syndrome release… which is out of print at the moment. A few mutuals on Letterboxd love the picture—you might as well.

American Pie 2, Revisited

A mutual’s recent review served as a reminder that I finally needed to post one of my typical reviews for this movie rather than one a sentence long that was posted during my first few days as a Letterboxd member, THIRTEEN years ago. The first movie in this franchise doesn’t need a new review & I know it well-enough where a revisit wasn’t necessary anyhow.

The set-up isn’t too complex: the leads of the first film decide to rent a beach house the summer after their first year in college so they can reconnect. It’s simply an excuse for more debauchery and OOT antics but as I first saw this movie on the big screen in August of ’01 when I myself was about to start my second year of college… of course I’ll be nostalgic for the film.

Vulgarities are looked at differently now compared to a quarter-century ago yet this film still makes me laugh, even with its crude and sometimes OOT scenarios, along with at least a few moments that probably will be seen now as “politically incorrect.” It was nice to see the characters mature and change throughout the movie and compared to the first. The soundtrack also brought me back. More than one character reminded me of people I know, or at least knew at the time… even Steve Stifler. American Wedding wasn’t good, and one reason was that The Stifmeister was insufferable in that, while he wasn’t as unbearable here.

I was happy to see these characters & those actors return, including Eugene Levy as the awkward yet loving father. My age is a factor but I’ll likely always enjoy this movie, even if my senior high of high school and college life wasn’t the insane antics portrayed in this franchise. I was happy to reminisce about the good old days.

The Trip

The Trip (1967)

Runtime: 85 minutes

Directed by: Roger Corman

Starring: Peter Fonda, Bruce Dern, Dennis Hopper, Susan Strasberg, Salli Sachese

From: AIP 

This film was a trip, indeed. Last night, Turner Classic Movies played this Roger Corman movie; throughout the month of January, every Friday night is devoted to the late director/producing legend. I hadn’t seen this but knowing that some key figures (Peter Fonda, Dennis Hopper, and Jack Nicholson, who believe it or not wrote The Trip while not appearing in the movie as an actor) later went on to make Easy Rider greatly intrigued.

Fonda is a director who is experiencing the disintegration of his marriage; that naturally is a bummer, man. Thankfully for him, he knows such cool cats as Hopper and a fully-bearded Bruce Dern. The latter introduces him to acid, and the rest of the film is his first acid trip. As Dern’s a great friend, he coaches him on what to expect during his initial trip and stays around during the experience. Of course, there is more than one freak-out but Dern offers comfort while he’s around.

Through the usage of appropriate music, colors, camera effects, old sets sometimes redecorated in bizarre fashion, filming in locations that already had psychedelic décor and other tricks that presumably weren’t expensive (especially considering the director/producer), those trips were a delight. First, there’s the expected kaleidoscope effects; then, weird, surreal imagery appears off-and-on. Now, I’ve never tried LSD; however, Nicholson and Corman did! The presumption is that the film is not unauthentic.

As an aside, Dern will turn 90 in like 8 weeks; I hope he lives for many years to come but you never know at his age. While he’s still alive, I’m happy to acknowledge that it’s always a treat watching him act in everything from Nebraska and The Driver to Silent Running and The ‘Burbs.

A film devoted only to an LSD experience is unique even now; I was happy to have gone on this journey to the swingin’ 60’s and view the visuals, groovy music, and the Los Angeles of the era. I was also happy to see some other familiar faces, such as Luana Anders and Dick Miller, the latter wearing a funny purple & black ensemble as a bartender.

 

Felidae

Last night I saw a famed 1994 animated film from Germany featuring the voice acting of an old actor I've been familiar with for years: 

RIP Mario Adorf

I haven’t reviewed any of his movies in years aside from 1964’s Apache Gold but back in the day, me and someone on a messageboard enjoyed discussing him. That was chiefly for his roles in the poliziotteschi films Caliber 9 and The Italian Connection, both of which are highly entertaining and well worth tracking down. We both laughed that he resembled Bruce Campbell. He was far more famous in Europe than America but I’m bummed he passed away, even if he reached the age of 95.

I referenced this film in my recent review of Cat City, another European animated flick concerning felines; a mutual recommended I check this out… a movie I’ve known of for ages by this point. The setting is a world just like ours, except that cats of many different breeds speak to each other. Francis is new to the neighborhood; he investigates a series of murders. Note that the film is NOT for children; there are horror elements, nightmares, cat corpses mutilated, a sexy saxophone riff, cat sex, and references to Gregor Mendel.

Felidae is mature, a noir concerning plot points that are better represented by animals rather than human beings. Adorf provided the deep voice of Bluebeard, the closest confidant of Francis. The story was more mature & thoughtful than expected, featuring lovely animation, a score from a rare female composer (Anne Dudley), a title song from BOY GEORGE, and nice voice acting. The only other actor I knew was Klaus Maria Brandauer, but everyone was fine.

This was a nice way to pay tribute to Mr. Adorf. Hopefully sometime next week, I’ll see something live-action from him.

 

Nothing Sacred

Nothing Sacred (1937)

Runtime: 74 minutes

Directed by: William A. Wellman

Starring: Carole Lombard, Fredric March, Charles Winninger, Walter Connolly, Sig Rugman

From: David O. Selznick Productions

Getting to see the only accurate representation of this Technicolor movie as it looked in 1937-via a restoration from the Museum of Modern Art-was a delight. The Criterion Collection is the only way to see that print of a film long in the public domain. People may not exclaim, “Jumpin H. Sebastian!” in excitement over how early Technicolor looked compared to its 50’s heyday, but the look is still distinctive.

The movie concerns NYC newspaper reporter Frederic March-disgraced after getting duped by a fake sultan who was a Black man that-ahem-shined shoes-the performance from Black actor Troy Brown, Sr. was fine-he visits Vermont to visit Carole Lombard… not just because she’s Carole Lombard, who looked lovely in Technicolor. Rather, she’s a Radium Girl in a Vermont town run by a watch factory. 

I could write paragraphs on the real-life phenomenon of girls painting radium on watches in the early 20th century so the numbers glowed in the dark… then people realized that radium gave off radiation and those poor girls suffered horrible fates; however, you can use Google or Wiki for further information. Plus, the gag is that Lombard’s Hazel Flagg isn’t sick with radiation poisoning, but goes along with the story because she doesn’t want to be stuck in Vermont forever—not even she saw how much attention would be lavished on her only for the belief that this random people mentioned in a story was on her deathbed.

A biting satire of media and sensationalistic journalism, this was. In addition, the movie’s a funny screwball comedy featuring the expected wacky scenarios that escalate in ludicrousness, snappy patter, and a romance between the leads. The supporting cast also entertained: grumpy newspaper editor OLIVER STONE (yes, that’s the character’s name) as portrayed by Walter Connelly, Sig Rugman as-naturally-a Germanic doctor, and Charles Winninger as a sidesplitting Vermont doctor. Margaret Hamilton appeared for a scene as well.

In addition, there’s the expected quality David O. Selznick production design and such wacky choices as a squirrel appearing randomly in one scene, or the absurdity of actors appearing in the background of scenes behind such foreground props as flowers or a tree branch. 

While there are better examples of screwball comedies-and I’m sure not everyone will love a moment in the finale that plays differently 9 decades later-I was still charmed by Nothing Sacred. I was happy to see something new (to me) from the great director William A. Wellman along w/ the charming performances from the legendary leads.

Adela Has Not Had Supper Yet

Adela Has Not Had Supper Yet (Adela Jeske Nevecerela) (1978)

Runtime: 102 minutes

Directed by: Oldrich Lipsky

Starring: Michal Docolomansky, Rudolf Hrusinsky, Milos Kopecky, Vaclav Lohnisky, Ladislav Pesak

From: Filmove Studio Barrandov

This movie was as peculiar as I’d always heard. In this case, that means “many years.” As stated on many occasions by now, I expect either drab & serious or something bizarre from movies behind the Iron Curtain; this satiric comedy was the latter.

Nick Carter (no, not the Backstreet Boy! Rather, the American detective character that was popular in dime store novels) is asked to Prague-which at least looked lovely on film but I’m sure the city is still lovely in 2026-to investigate a curious case that involves-among other things-a mad botanist and the titular Adela… a carnivorous plant; take that, Audrey II! He is assisted by a Czech who is a portly man w/ a mustache.

Along the way, there’s still photographs used to animate certain moments, animation-including stop-motion from the legendary Jan Svankmajer-and the unexpected advertisement of Czech food & drink throughout, especially pilsner beer. There’s also disguises that would make Ethan Hunt proud and attractive women, but I’d rather not reveal too much. The soundtrack that served as background typically sounded like that of a silent film; makes sense, considering the early 20th century setting. An idiosyncratic and unique movie, this was.

This also made the movie feel fresh and distinctive. I’m glad that Czech movies are easier to track down than before via streaming platforms like Night Flight/Eternal Family/Midnight Plus (the trio share quite a few movies) or the Criterion Channel, and Deaf Crocodile, a label that deserves more love for the wide berth of foreign films they release on physical media.

 

The Super Mario Galaxy Movie

The Super Mario Galaxy Movie (2026)

42% on Rotten Tomatoes (out of 187 reviews) 

Runtime: 98 minutes

Directed by: Aaron Horvath/Michael Jelenic/Pierre Leduc

Starring: Quite a few famous faces

From: Universal/Nintendo 

To echo the thoughts of (presumably) many, I’d also like an 80’s cartoon series of [redacted.]

Despite the frostier reception that this sequel has received so far, I was still interested in a viewing due to my finding the original film to be fine—a safe story, but competent, w/ great visuals and humor that typically didn’t bother me too much. As I explained in that review, I’m someone who only knows the franchise from the 80’s & 90’s… and the awesomely bad 90’s film and the first Super Smash Brothers game. Getting to check out the movie in 3D was an additional delight; those effects were nice.

My opinions of the 2023 movie as “safe story, but competent” also apply to Galaxy. The references to the universe made in 2000 and after mostly flew over my head yet the plot still was fun. Is it as in-depth & complex as Pixar (well, vintage Pixar)? Nope—doesn’t mean there’s anything wrong with a story where Bowser, Jr. wishes to rescue his father & also make him proud, which is done by kidnapping Peach’s sister Rosalina so her powers could be used to help end the universe. 

I was entertained by the spectacle, Yoshi & the other characters introduced (including one that wasn’t in the trailers & as that character is well-known in the universe, someone in the audience had an audible reaction during their opening scene), the action setpieces-including a scene that Joe Bob Briggs would describe as UMBRELLA-FU, and best of all, how delightfully colorful the movie is, especially in 3D.

As an aside, a recent mutual on Letterboxd might want me to mention that the voice cast featured several Black actors: Donald Glover, Keegan-Michael Key, & Kevin Michael Richardson. It can be argued whether a cast full of famous actors was right for an animated picture but colorblind casting in this field is fine with me. What I appreciated returning was the return of the Kamek character, a.k.a. the dude designed to look & sound like Peter Lorre.

The expectations weren’t high-especially after the negative reviews-but I was mostly fine w/ Galaxy. Yes, more than one character arguably should have had more screentime for the story being told, among other valid criticisms. Even then, I was entertained by what may be a rare new popcorn film I check out in 2026. Yes, even I am not immune to fanservice moments that reminded me of games played during my youth.

 

Brats

I returned to the world of Laurel & Hardy with this 1930 short: 

Laurel & Hardy appear as children due to movie magic = aces. Last night I wasn’t in the mood for a feature film; thankfully, something that’s 20-minutes long-like Brats was-fit my mood better. I’ve dug their shorts and feature films, silents and “the talkie era.”

Brats is distinctive as it’s dual roles for Laurel & Hardy; they also portray their children. This is done by both them interacting w/ oversized sets and camera tricks. Besides the silliness of grown adults portraying little children, at first you think that the men are a married couple, but a photo on a mantle plus a line of dialogue reveals this not to be true. That photo… is of Jean Harlow! Is it a three-way polyamorous relationship?! The children-also called Stan & Oliver-cause plenty of mayhem at home one evening by acting childish, much to the dismay of their parents.

The production design was swell; this helped the viewer believe in the wacky conceit. Both parents and children suffer many pratfalls and bumbling about. The adults can’t handle either a game of checkers or a game of billiards, while the kids have a run-in w/ hot liniment fluid, alphabet blocks, and a mouse brought to life via animation.

I’m predisposed to this style of humor anyhow; I was delighted that the short allowed for different humor from the duo due to the concept. It’s been a delight to see more from Laurel & Hardy in the past 5 or 6 years.

 

The Leopard

The Leopard (Il Gattopardo) (1963)

Runtime: 186 minutes

Directed by: Luchino Visconti

Starring: Burt Lancaster, Claudia Cardinale, Alain Delon, Paolo Stoppa, Rina Morelli 

From: Several different Italian and French companies

Would people be AGHAST that this was my first Luchino Visconti film? For the newer followers, I haven’t viewed much classic cinema as of late but in the thirteen (!) years I’ve been on Letterboxd, what’s been reviewed has run the gamut. It’s everything from The Room and Birdemic to some cinephile musts from the likes of Kurosawa, Tarkovsky, Fellini, Bergman, John Ford, Fritz Lang, Ozu, Truffaut, etc.

Yet, I imagine a few of the serious scholarly cinephiles will be surprised that Visconti was a blind spot until last night. A few weeks ago, the FXM movie channel during their retro block (meaning, unedited movies & no commercials) played The Leopard; despite a 3-hour runtime of a motion picture concerning a topic I knew little of-the unification of Italy in the 1860’s. I shouldn’t have been concerned when there was time last night to play the DVR recording.

To copy & paste the plot description currently on Letterboxd: “As Garibaldi’s troops begin the unification of Italy in the 1860s, an aristocratic Sicilian family grudgingly adapts to the sweeping social changes undermining their way of life. Proud but pragmatic Prince Don Fabrizio Salina allows his war hero nephew, Tancredi, to marry Angelica, the beautiful daughter of gauche, bourgeois Don Calogero, in order to maintain the family’s accustomed level of comfort and political clout.”

The film takes its time as the story slowly unfurled, presenting a tale where the particulars of Italy’s unification isn’t necessary-a viewer is not required to do even a bit of Wikipedia research beforehand, although that could be done for those curious beforehand or after viewing. The film was a rapturous experience as the end of an era is coming & Burt Lancaster’s Prince has difficulty accepting that truth. On the other hand, young cad nephew Alain Delon is more ambitious and probably will succeed in this new Italy, along with Don Sedara, a precursor to what later would be a Mafia Don.

The rest of the cast was also swell: Claudia Cardinale (a belated RIP to her; I never noted the death of this European starlet last fall) as the stunning lady from a rival family who is married to Delon for political reasons. There’s also Terence Hill in a supporting role, so early in his career that he’s billed under his birth name of Mario Girotti.

The showstopper is a long ballroom scene 45-minutes in length where my attention never wavered-rather, it highlighted several key components: there’s the lush score from Nino Rota, the great costumes, the lavish sets. Then, the film’s conclusion was note-perfect. The Leopard was well worth the long journey. Fascinating was that Visconti (who was from a noble family himself) and Lancaster (his hiring was forced on the director by the producers) initially did not get alone but after Ol’ Burt bowed up & yelled at the director, suddenly they were pals for the rest of Visconti’s life. Undoubtedly, in the far-future I’ll view another film from a great director I shouldn’t have overlooked for so long.

The Beastmaster

The Beastmaster (1982)

Runtime: 118 minutes

Directed by: Don Coscarelli

Starring; Marc Singer, Tanya Roberts, Rip Torn, John Amos, Joshua Milrad

From: MGM

Hey
Beastmaster’s
On

Last night, Shudder’s 24/7 streaming channel played this motion picture between last year’s Deathstalker & the original Deathstalker-appropriate. Now is the time to discuss what for people middle-aged like me growing up in the United States was a film that didn’t light the box office on fire but found its legs on cable television, where several channels-including HBO-had it in constant rotation for years.

This is a silly sword and sorcery film w/ a standard plot: evil wizard Rip Torn (sporting a hysterical prosthetic nose) wishes to sacrifice the unborn son of the King, the unborn son is saved but he grows up unknowing of his parentage, he becomes a hero & is on a trek to vanquish the villain while teaming up w/ a variety of different pals. Nothing wrong with a standard plot & archetypes—in fact, more modern movies would be better off not “subverting expectations” or especially inserting unneeded “humor.” Just follow the archetypes instead; they’ve endured for a reason. The new idea here is that the hero can communicate with animals and even see through their eyes.

Yes, The Beastmaster can be nitpicked to death. Among the fantasy names, John Amos is known as SETH. A “black panther” is clearly a tiger painted black. The animal sidekicks are a black eagle, the black tiger, and… a pair of FERRETS, cute critters that I know from some friends in college can be kept as pets. However, I won’t nitpick the movie-instead, The Beastmaster was a cheesy good time where each animal assists our heroes on several occasions in creative fashion.

Marc Singer was decent in the role (so was Tanya Roberts) but more memorable were Amos as the main sidekick and Torn as the evil bastard. Originally, a real-life evil bastard was to play the heel but as he did often, turned down the role due to money disputes—Klaus Kinski. As stated recently in other reviews, I’ve come to appreciate practical effects, sets, & locations compared to digital and greenscreens. California and Nevada deserts presented the appropriate vibe for this genre.

Mix in cinematography from an actual Oscar winner (John Alcott), a score from Lee Holdrige that was appropriate for this fantasy, & some creepy moments you’d expect from the guy that gave us the Phantasm movies… Beastmaster was fun even for a middle-aged adult like me. Did it need to be a full 2 hours long? That can be debated.

Neither sequel has ever been tackled by me—hearsay tells me that both are bad yet I imagine that especially the second could be hysterically bad. There’s better than a 0% chance that’ll be tackled one day in the far-future

Night Tide

Night Tide (1961)

Runtime: 85 minutes

Directed by: Curtis Harrington

Starring: Dennis Hopper, Linda Lawson, Gavin Muir, Luana Anders, Marjorie Eaton

From: AIP

In the first of two reviews I'm posting tonight, I discuss this interesting romantic fantasy horror flick: 

After years of thinking that I should finally view Night Tide, the trigger was pulled last night. It’s a film I’ve known of for ages-after all, it stars Dennis Hopper-his first starring role-and features a plot where his Navy man fell in love with an attractive dark-haired woman named Mora (understandable) who performs as a mermaid at a Venice Beach, California carnival but as this is a romance picture which can be described as either a fantasy or a horror movie-or perhaps both…

The strongest aspect are the spooky, dreamy vibes Night Tide has throughout. Even at the time, Venice Beach possessed unique vibes & attracted eccentric sorts. Mora lived right above an amusement hall that included a merry-go-round, to list but one example. Director Curtis Harrison and co-star Marjorie Cameron worked with/knew the likes of Kenneth Anger, Maya Deren, and Aleister Crowley-no surprise the film would have a different flavor and style to what was common at the time. Colorful characters are present, including a former ship captain who is Mora’s godfather and a fortune teller… excuse me, “clairvoyant.” As there’s also a carnival shown at night, the vibes are exquisite. Some will undoubtedly appreciate the occasional queer vibes that are present.

The story always fascinated, featuring moments and plot points that are surprisingly dark for the early 60’s. Night Tide feels both ahead of its time & fresh even 65 years later. Harrington was also inspired by the likes of James Whale (he knew Whale late in his life) & Val Lewtin-great inspirations. Hopper was aces as the lead, and so was Linda Lawson as the alluring Mora; the cast was nice, although the only other face I recognized was Luana Andrers in a supporting part. The jazzy score-particularly the scene in the Blue Grotto night club in the opening minutes-was also exquisite.

Spooky Seasons past, the thought has crossed my mind of viewing Night Tide then; I done goofed by not doing so-it’s a nice tonic and something different from a standard horror movie.

Thirteen Days to Die

Thirteen Days to Die (Der Fluch Des Schwarzen Rubin) (1965)

Runtime: 98 minutes

Directed by: Manfred R. Kohler

Starring: Thomas Alder, Peter Carsten, Serge Nubret, Metta Roongrat

From: Rapid Film/SNC/Metheus Film

Tubi really does has everything.

I never know if people I follow on Letterboxd want to be mentioned by name; this person I'm referencing now reviews mainly obscurities from around the world. They are the one who via their reviews informed me of the German Krimi films, the Winnetou movies and other genre efforts from that part of the world. Their glowing review of Thirteen piqued my interest; furthermore, that’s also how I know that this has a Eurospy flavor, although it was based on an old German pulp novel character named Rolf Torring-i.e. Ralph Tracy in the English dub.

The film is otherwise impossible to track down in English so I was delighted that Tubi recently, they added the film in widescreen, even if some frames are missing occasionally and a line of dialogue in the conclusion is randomly muted. Tracy and his two even more buff buddies are in Thailand, assisting a Prince with locating a stolen royal necklace. Of course, the scenario is much more complicated than it first appears, at times becoming a convoluted plot that was expected for the genre. The necklace holds secrets, one of the villains is an evil geologist-a phrase you’ll never hear me utter again-and a treasure hunt occurs.

One of the most appealing aspects: the exotic Thai setting. Whether it’s Bangkok, rural areas, the jungle or abandoned ruins, the flavor of the country during the 60’s was expressed. Some cultural traditions and Thai martial arts were even presented. To echo the thoughts of that mutual, not only was a Black actor cast as one of Tracy’s pals (more on him at the end), a Thai actress was the lead girl rather than a European w/ artificially darkened skin. Metta Roongrat-besides having a great name-did a nice job as the lead girl. Horst Frank of The Cat O' Nine Tails fame was quality as the aforementioned evil geologist.

Thirteen Days to Die was a fun picture in a setting I loved featuring sleazy henchmen, good action beats, a tiger, spy devices, poison, a rubber crocodile, and even a pet chimpanzee. Thomas Alder-as Tracy-was an actor I wasn’t familiar with but Peter Carsten (of Dark of the Sun fame) was a jacked white friend of Ralph Tracy while Serge Nubret was the jacked Black friend. Nubret is best known as a bodybuilder who was in Pumping Iron as he competed in Mr. Olympia that year. Even a decade earlier, he was ripped.

In recent years, I’ve rarely used Tubi despite the amazing selection it has, including movies like this that are otherwise difficult to track down. The platform will be used more often by me; besides it having other Eurospy movies that were recently added, who knows if one day some awful people decide to change or even shut down such an esoteric service.