Unfortunately, I have to do this as the thing I was planning on watching tonight is out the window. It’s a long story, but to try and be short… I was going to watch a movie from the late Ken Russell (no relation, I swear; he was a British director best known for helming Tommy; in general he was known for directing flat-out weird movies. I don’t think it’s quite like David Lynch, but still odd nonetheless) which I happened to download from the Internet awhile back but never watched. I know, I know, but it’s one of those movies which I don’t think has ever been released on DVD, at least not Region 1. I was going to watch it on a portable DVD player I got from a relative long ago, but it finally crapped out on me, and as that’s the easiest way for me to watch burned DVD movies… that review will have to wait for a later day, although I see that someone did upload it to YouTube just a few days ago, likely as a tribute to Mr. Russell.
So, to fill time I'll post something I posted on a messageboard recently. It was something strange I stumbled upon on a religious channel, and I only saw parts of it. However, it was so odd I might as well post it here too.
So, earlier this afternoon I was channel-surfing and I stumbled upon a surprising sight, and on a real surprising channel. I landed on one of the religious channels I get, and who do I see? Why, Gary Busey... acting a scene with Margot Kidder! I later find out it's some crappy religious-themed movie called Apocalypse III: Tribulation, which concerns The Antichrist (Nick Mancuso) and his pals (apparently members of the Illuminati... hey, they use the pyramid with the eye on top) wiping out most of the world and brainwashing the rest of it via a *virtual reality helmet*. I kid you not, there's brainwashing involved and they do it to those who don't believe automatically by using one of those virtual reality helmets from the 90's. And yet this movie was released in 2000. Believe me, I didn't watch all of it but instead some random scenes, and it is pretty bad. Here are some more things of note:
* Busey and Kidder play brother and sister.
* Gary ends up in a coma and you see him awaken years later. He sports a Kris Kristofferson-style haircut with matching beard. It's quite the look. Somehow, he manages to shave the beard and cut his hair BEFORE escaping from the hospital.
* I see some guy with black-rimmed glasses and a goatee, and I think, "No, it can't possibly be him", but indeed it was Howie Mandel (!!)
* Margot Kidder is apparently an atheist, and it wasn't until production started that she realized this was a serious religious production. But of course.
I do wish I could have been on set for the making of that film. I can't imagine a more batshit insane male-female duo than Gary and Margot!
I'll be back Saturday night. As I plan on finally seeing some movies in December, I should be a little more active than I was this month.
Wednesday, November 30, 2011
Sunday, November 27, 2011
When Nature Calls
When Nature Calls (1985)
Runtime: 85 minutes
Directed by: Charles Kaufman
Starring: David Orange, Barbara Marineau, Nicky Beim, Tina Marie Staiano, David Strathairn
From: Troma, but don’t be turned off by that
Yes, I’m technically reviewing a Troma movie, but it’s really only from that company as the owner’s brother directed this. The movie is far from the puerile and immature crap you get from that company, although on the DVD you get an introduction that’s terrible as it shows off Troma's style in the worst way. The less said about it the better.
This actual movie is a parody film a la Airplane or The Naked Gun and I first heard about it from reading someone’s review on a site a long time ago. I mean, I have no idea what the site was and by this time I’ll presume it’s long gone from the Internet. The reviewer really enjoyed the movie and once I saw that the movie has brief roles from a bizarre grouping of people (the late wrestling manager Classy Freddie Blassie, G. Gordon Liddy, Gates McFadden*, comedian Morey Amsterdam, and even legendary baseball player Willie Mays), it sounded so odd I was glad I was able to find it on DVD. It turns out, after viewing it, it really is an entertaining film and I’m surprised there seems to be a lot of hate for it online. When you compare it to the God-awful parody garbage we’ve gotten in recent years (the feces from those talentless Epic Movie/Date Movie/etc. douches as the prime example) the film looks especially good.
• Star Trek: TNG fans will be delighted to know that McFadden appears in a shirt and her panties.
You start off with some fake trailers a la Grindhouse before you get to the movie itself, which concerns a family man in the city who needs a break from that hectic life so he decides to take them and himself and they move to the countryside. That’s pretty much it for the plot. It’s filled with gags throughout. I mean, it’s rather heavy per minute and it has different varieties of humor so if something didn’t make you laugh, the next joke or visual pun likely will. You get everything from a spoof of Ingmar Bergman movies to the family’s teenaged daughter and a grizzly bear falling in love (it’s tame), from jokes about Jerry Lewis being terrible to an intermission that spoofs those old candy ads with cartoon characters/claymation that you’ve seen somewhere before as a bit of nostalgia for what was shown way back when at the cinema/drive-in, but in a cruder way that you’ve seen before.
Sure, it’s uneven and aside from some crude bits it’s otherwise tame, but for a low-budget thing I think it’s a movie worth checking out if you enjoy how parody movies SHOULD be. It’s also better than Ace Ventura: When Nature Calls. If you’re able to track down this movie, you may think it’s worth what may be quite a bit of effort.
I’ll be back the last day of this month with a new review.
Runtime: 85 minutes
Directed by: Charles Kaufman
Starring: David Orange, Barbara Marineau, Nicky Beim, Tina Marie Staiano, David Strathairn
From: Troma, but don’t be turned off by that
Yes, I’m technically reviewing a Troma movie, but it’s really only from that company as the owner’s brother directed this. The movie is far from the puerile and immature crap you get from that company, although on the DVD you get an introduction that’s terrible as it shows off Troma's style in the worst way. The less said about it the better.
This actual movie is a parody film a la Airplane or The Naked Gun and I first heard about it from reading someone’s review on a site a long time ago. I mean, I have no idea what the site was and by this time I’ll presume it’s long gone from the Internet. The reviewer really enjoyed the movie and once I saw that the movie has brief roles from a bizarre grouping of people (the late wrestling manager Classy Freddie Blassie, G. Gordon Liddy, Gates McFadden*, comedian Morey Amsterdam, and even legendary baseball player Willie Mays), it sounded so odd I was glad I was able to find it on DVD. It turns out, after viewing it, it really is an entertaining film and I’m surprised there seems to be a lot of hate for it online. When you compare it to the God-awful parody garbage we’ve gotten in recent years (the feces from those talentless Epic Movie/Date Movie/etc. douches as the prime example) the film looks especially good.
• Star Trek: TNG fans will be delighted to know that McFadden appears in a shirt and her panties.
You start off with some fake trailers a la Grindhouse before you get to the movie itself, which concerns a family man in the city who needs a break from that hectic life so he decides to take them and himself and they move to the countryside. That’s pretty much it for the plot. It’s filled with gags throughout. I mean, it’s rather heavy per minute and it has different varieties of humor so if something didn’t make you laugh, the next joke or visual pun likely will. You get everything from a spoof of Ingmar Bergman movies to the family’s teenaged daughter and a grizzly bear falling in love (it’s tame), from jokes about Jerry Lewis being terrible to an intermission that spoofs those old candy ads with cartoon characters/claymation that you’ve seen somewhere before as a bit of nostalgia for what was shown way back when at the cinema/drive-in, but in a cruder way that you’ve seen before.
Sure, it’s uneven and aside from some crude bits it’s otherwise tame, but for a low-budget thing I think it’s a movie worth checking out if you enjoy how parody movies SHOULD be. It’s also better than Ace Ventura: When Nature Calls. If you’re able to track down this movie, you may think it’s worth what may be quite a bit of effort.
I’ll be back the last day of this month with a new review.
Tuesday, November 22, 2011
Omega Cop
Omega Cop (1990)
Runtime: 90 minutes
Directed by: Paul Kyriazi
Starring: Ron Marchini, Adam West, Stuart Whitman, Troy Donahue
From: Cine Excel Entertainment
Here’s yet another movie I found out about via the Bad Movie Fiends podcast. It was a film they loved watching for its low budget action-ness and after some searching I found it on a site offering up downloads of really obscure films. The comments section for each post offer up the movie for download, via Megaupload file.
Oh, this movie… it’s real low-budget and it’s one of those post-apocalyptic films. Apparently there’s only a few cops left in this small area. That department is led by… Adam West! He looked like he was still missing the days 25 years ago when he was a big star on TV. You also get some small appearances from the other famous faces (Whitman and Donahue) but most of the cast is unknowns. The Omega Cop (Marchini, a martial arts fighter from back in the day when Chuck Norris fought in those battles. In fact those two once fought and Chuck only barely won) goes against a band of slave traders and picks up some chicks in the process.
Here are the reasons why I managed to enjoy the film:
• The soundtrack is mainly something you’d expect from an old-school John Carpenter film, but for reasons unknown, a few times you hear neo-oldies! You know, groups from the 80’s going for the sound of songs in the late 50’s and early 60’s. I have no idea why the producers went that route but I’m glad they did.
• The Omega Cop loves crotch kicks and crotch punches. Even more so than Steven Seagal does. The best one was when a bad guy unzipped his pants and was about to relieve himself when he got kicked right in the nards.
• One of the main bad guys looked like Ron Jeremy with a beard.
• The Omega Cop’s hideout is the locker room of a small baseball stadium (!) and it’s guarded by a skeleton with a gun in its hand (!!)
• He really cares about his accessories. He will go far distances to acquire the hat and gun belt that gets stolen from him. It’s part of all the running you get to see him do.
• The action isn’t exactly like you’d see in a Hollywood blockbuster… it still works and it’s fun to watch. There’s even a quality explosion or two.
So, this movie is technically terrible but hey, I found it to be rather entertaining. At least the action is fun to watch, there are wacky and unique moments like the oldies stuff or all the abuse to the groin (and other things that I won't spoil, except that West's final scene is memorable), and it's just plain wacky. There's a sequel, Karate Cop, and I also could download it, but I hear it's not quite as great as this movie.
If you want a 1 minute taste of what this movie is all about, check out this YouTube clip.
As it's a holiday week I won't be back until Saturday night.
Runtime: 90 minutes
Directed by: Paul Kyriazi
Starring: Ron Marchini, Adam West, Stuart Whitman, Troy Donahue
From: Cine Excel Entertainment
Here’s yet another movie I found out about via the Bad Movie Fiends podcast. It was a film they loved watching for its low budget action-ness and after some searching I found it on a site offering up downloads of really obscure films. The comments section for each post offer up the movie for download, via Megaupload file.
Oh, this movie… it’s real low-budget and it’s one of those post-apocalyptic films. Apparently there’s only a few cops left in this small area. That department is led by… Adam West! He looked like he was still missing the days 25 years ago when he was a big star on TV. You also get some small appearances from the other famous faces (Whitman and Donahue) but most of the cast is unknowns. The Omega Cop (Marchini, a martial arts fighter from back in the day when Chuck Norris fought in those battles. In fact those two once fought and Chuck only barely won) goes against a band of slave traders and picks up some chicks in the process.
Here are the reasons why I managed to enjoy the film:
• The soundtrack is mainly something you’d expect from an old-school John Carpenter film, but for reasons unknown, a few times you hear neo-oldies! You know, groups from the 80’s going for the sound of songs in the late 50’s and early 60’s. I have no idea why the producers went that route but I’m glad they did.
• The Omega Cop loves crotch kicks and crotch punches. Even more so than Steven Seagal does. The best one was when a bad guy unzipped his pants and was about to relieve himself when he got kicked right in the nards.
• One of the main bad guys looked like Ron Jeremy with a beard.
• The Omega Cop’s hideout is the locker room of a small baseball stadium (!) and it’s guarded by a skeleton with a gun in its hand (!!)
• He really cares about his accessories. He will go far distances to acquire the hat and gun belt that gets stolen from him. It’s part of all the running you get to see him do.
• The action isn’t exactly like you’d see in a Hollywood blockbuster… it still works and it’s fun to watch. There’s even a quality explosion or two.
So, this movie is technically terrible but hey, I found it to be rather entertaining. At least the action is fun to watch, there are wacky and unique moments like the oldies stuff or all the abuse to the groin (and other things that I won't spoil, except that West's final scene is memorable), and it's just plain wacky. There's a sequel, Karate Cop, and I also could download it, but I hear it's not quite as great as this movie.
If you want a 1 minute taste of what this movie is all about, check out this YouTube clip.
As it's a holiday week I won't be back until Saturday night.
Thursday, November 17, 2011
Arena
Arena (1989)
Runtime: 97 minutes
Directed by: Peter Manoogian
Starring: Paul Satterfield, Hamilton Camp, Claudia Christian, Shari Shattuck
From: Empire Pictures
Here is a movie whose cover I remember seeing as a young kid at the videostore way back when. I was inspired to watch the movie from listening to a review of it on the Bad Movie Fiends podcast. That particular episode is here if you want to hear a detailed spoiler-filled recap of that movie. I found the movie and watched it on YouTube, but “shhh” on that.
Basically, this low-budget faire is the Rocky sort of boxing story but it’s set in the future in space, and it’s more like kickboxing or even what would now be called MMA. It’s a standard sort of thing: there’s a dominant champion who can’t be beaten, and he’s controlled by an evil dude. Steve Armstrong (Satterfield, who looks a LOT like Christopher Reeve, but with blonde hair) is a short-order cook on the space station where the fights take place. Steve gets into a fight himself at the diner, so he gets fired and doesn’t even have enough money to go back to Earth. He gets convinced by four-armed Shorty (Camp) and manager Quinn (Christian) that he should become a fighter. He does, and as he becomes more successful, he gets more attention, both good and bad.
As you can see, the plot itself is rather standard. Yet, it’s still entertaining to watch. There’s comedy, both intentional and unintentional. There are some interesting touches which makes things entertaining despite the fact that you can really tell at some points it’s low-budget. You get to see a hologram of a girl who sings songs, a la The Star Wars Holiday Special, something which I may very well review for the holiday season this year. That was more weird than anything else but at least they were trying here.
At least the creatures for the most part look fine. My favorite was Stitches, a creature the same color at Thing from The Fantastic Four and looking like a cross between an armadillo and alligator, and also with crab claws. And he’s the training partner of Steve! Not to mention, he speaks English. It’s only a small role for that creature; as mentioned by the BMF guys, it’d be great if Stitches would have had a bigger role, and if he would have been buddy-buddy with Steve, the two “cruising for chicks” or what have you.
It’d be pretty rad if there was a modern remake of this where it’d be straight-up MMA action you get to see with various creatures fighting against each other. That could be money if done right. For now, though, if you like goofily entertaining low-budget action, check it out. What goes on in the ring isn’t the only fighting/action you get to see.
I’ll be back Monday night with a new review.
Runtime: 97 minutes
Directed by: Peter Manoogian
Starring: Paul Satterfield, Hamilton Camp, Claudia Christian, Shari Shattuck
From: Empire Pictures
Here is a movie whose cover I remember seeing as a young kid at the videostore way back when. I was inspired to watch the movie from listening to a review of it on the Bad Movie Fiends podcast. That particular episode is here if you want to hear a detailed spoiler-filled recap of that movie. I found the movie and watched it on YouTube, but “shhh” on that.
Basically, this low-budget faire is the Rocky sort of boxing story but it’s set in the future in space, and it’s more like kickboxing or even what would now be called MMA. It’s a standard sort of thing: there’s a dominant champion who can’t be beaten, and he’s controlled by an evil dude. Steve Armstrong (Satterfield, who looks a LOT like Christopher Reeve, but with blonde hair) is a short-order cook on the space station where the fights take place. Steve gets into a fight himself at the diner, so he gets fired and doesn’t even have enough money to go back to Earth. He gets convinced by four-armed Shorty (Camp) and manager Quinn (Christian) that he should become a fighter. He does, and as he becomes more successful, he gets more attention, both good and bad.
As you can see, the plot itself is rather standard. Yet, it’s still entertaining to watch. There’s comedy, both intentional and unintentional. There are some interesting touches which makes things entertaining despite the fact that you can really tell at some points it’s low-budget. You get to see a hologram of a girl who sings songs, a la The Star Wars Holiday Special, something which I may very well review for the holiday season this year. That was more weird than anything else but at least they were trying here.
At least the creatures for the most part look fine. My favorite was Stitches, a creature the same color at Thing from The Fantastic Four and looking like a cross between an armadillo and alligator, and also with crab claws. And he’s the training partner of Steve! Not to mention, he speaks English. It’s only a small role for that creature; as mentioned by the BMF guys, it’d be great if Stitches would have had a bigger role, and if he would have been buddy-buddy with Steve, the two “cruising for chicks” or what have you.
It’d be pretty rad if there was a modern remake of this where it’d be straight-up MMA action you get to see with various creatures fighting against each other. That could be money if done right. For now, though, if you like goofily entertaining low-budget action, check it out. What goes on in the ring isn’t the only fighting/action you get to see.
I’ll be back Monday night with a new review.
Sunday, November 13, 2011
So
My schedule ended up being more hectic than planned so, no review for tonight. I'll be back Wednesday night and I'll do that then, I promise.
Wednesday, November 9, 2011
Diamonds Are Forever
Diamonds Are Forever (1971)
Runtime: 120 minutes
Directed by: Guy Hamilton
Starring: Sean Connery, Jill St. John, Charles Gray, Bruce Cabot
From: UA
You know, this movie managed to be worse than the first time I watched it!
As I alluded to before, I was never a fan of this movie, despite there being people out there who rate this rather highly. I wish I could see what they did. I just don’t quite get it.
In this entry, I presume it’s a direct follow-up to On Her Majesty’s Secret Service, as the opening has Bond on the warpath after Blofeld (this time, Gray) for killing his newlywed bride Tracy. He tracks down Blofeld and kills him… only it’s a ruse, as he somehow was able to have various people perform plastic surgery to look exactly like him. That’s not the only eye-rolling “oh come on” moment of the plot. From there the story starts, and it’s nonsense about diamonds being smuggled by a mysterious person, thought to be Howard Hughe… oh wait, I mean Willard Whyte (Jimmy Dean; as an actor, he made good sausages) and the action moves from Holland to Las Vegas; it turns out the acquiring of the diamonds was actually for a satellite… WITH LASERS! Sorry for the Austin Powers reference, but at times I swore I was watching one of those movies rather than a Bond production. The camp value here was rather high, regrettably.
That’s about all I have to say about the confused plot. I’ll say that it isn’t all that entertaining to watch, although a few times you’ll probably laugh for the sheer WTF value. Some of the acting left a lot to be desired. Lana Wood, as “Plenty O’Toole”, had acting ability that was the inverse of her impressive cleavage. Actually, I hope that in her other movies she acted better than she did here. I hope she acted even half as well as her sister Natalie did. Oh well, at least the two were fine-looking ladies in their heyday.
The only two performances I thought were interesting were the unusual Mr. Wint and Mr. Kidd, played by Bruce Glover and Putter Smith. Looks-wise you can easily tell that Crispin is his son, and judging by the performance, I have a feeling strangeness runs in that family. Putter Smith was a jazz bassist, so I have no idea why he was chosen for this role, unless it was for his distinctive look. The duo had an odd chemistry and yet it works, and the jazz guy wasn’t a bad actor either. Apparently, judging by a throwaway line, the duo happened to be homosexuals. Why that was included, I don’t know, as it meant nothing for anything you see. That’s one of many questions I have with this movie.
Even the action-something I tend to count on with most Bond movies-wasn’t too great here, aside from an entertaining fight in an old elevator. Otherwise it didn’t do much for me, and the strangest moment for me was Bond fighting two acrobatic chicks named Bambi and Thumper. See what I mean about camp? Aside from it being interesting to look at how Las Vegas was back 40 years ago, this movie is just not good. It’s definitely the worst of the Bond movies that Connery was in. I am not counting Never Say Never Again, as that’s not an official Bond movie in canon, and plus it’s even worse than this one!
Speaking of that, here’s the Connery Bond movies ranked from worst to best in my opinion, and I included the links to the reviews I did before.
6. Diamonds Are Forever
5. Thunderball
4. You Only Live Twice
3. Dr. No
2. Goldfinger
1. From Russia With Love
I don’t know when but I’ll try to make it not too long before I get to the Roger Moore Bond flicks. I’ll be back Sunday night with a new review.
Runtime: 120 minutes
Directed by: Guy Hamilton
Starring: Sean Connery, Jill St. John, Charles Gray, Bruce Cabot
From: UA
You know, this movie managed to be worse than the first time I watched it!
As I alluded to before, I was never a fan of this movie, despite there being people out there who rate this rather highly. I wish I could see what they did. I just don’t quite get it.
In this entry, I presume it’s a direct follow-up to On Her Majesty’s Secret Service, as the opening has Bond on the warpath after Blofeld (this time, Gray) for killing his newlywed bride Tracy. He tracks down Blofeld and kills him… only it’s a ruse, as he somehow was able to have various people perform plastic surgery to look exactly like him. That’s not the only eye-rolling “oh come on” moment of the plot. From there the story starts, and it’s nonsense about diamonds being smuggled by a mysterious person, thought to be Howard Hughe… oh wait, I mean Willard Whyte (Jimmy Dean; as an actor, he made good sausages) and the action moves from Holland to Las Vegas; it turns out the acquiring of the diamonds was actually for a satellite… WITH LASERS! Sorry for the Austin Powers reference, but at times I swore I was watching one of those movies rather than a Bond production. The camp value here was rather high, regrettably.
That’s about all I have to say about the confused plot. I’ll say that it isn’t all that entertaining to watch, although a few times you’ll probably laugh for the sheer WTF value. Some of the acting left a lot to be desired. Lana Wood, as “Plenty O’Toole”, had acting ability that was the inverse of her impressive cleavage. Actually, I hope that in her other movies she acted better than she did here. I hope she acted even half as well as her sister Natalie did. Oh well, at least the two were fine-looking ladies in their heyday.
The only two performances I thought were interesting were the unusual Mr. Wint and Mr. Kidd, played by Bruce Glover and Putter Smith. Looks-wise you can easily tell that Crispin is his son, and judging by the performance, I have a feeling strangeness runs in that family. Putter Smith was a jazz bassist, so I have no idea why he was chosen for this role, unless it was for his distinctive look. The duo had an odd chemistry and yet it works, and the jazz guy wasn’t a bad actor either. Apparently, judging by a throwaway line, the duo happened to be homosexuals. Why that was included, I don’t know, as it meant nothing for anything you see. That’s one of many questions I have with this movie.
Even the action-something I tend to count on with most Bond movies-wasn’t too great here, aside from an entertaining fight in an old elevator. Otherwise it didn’t do much for me, and the strangest moment for me was Bond fighting two acrobatic chicks named Bambi and Thumper. See what I mean about camp? Aside from it being interesting to look at how Las Vegas was back 40 years ago, this movie is just not good. It’s definitely the worst of the Bond movies that Connery was in. I am not counting Never Say Never Again, as that’s not an official Bond movie in canon, and plus it’s even worse than this one!
Speaking of that, here’s the Connery Bond movies ranked from worst to best in my opinion, and I included the links to the reviews I did before.
6. Diamonds Are Forever
5. Thunderball
4. You Only Live Twice
3. Dr. No
2. Goldfinger
1. From Russia With Love
I don’t know when but I’ll try to make it not too long before I get to the Roger Moore Bond flicks. I’ll be back Sunday night with a new review.
Friday, November 4, 2011
On Her Majesty’s Secret Service
On Her Majesty’s Secret Service (1969)
Runtime: 140 minutes
Directed by: Peter Hunt (please, don't giggle)
Starring: George Lazenby, Diana Rigg, Telly Savalas, Gabriele Ferzetti
From: UA
Oh boy, here’s a movie I was actually hesitant to revisit, thus why I haven’t reviewed a Bond movie in order in so damn long. I didn’t really care for it the first time around, as I thought Lazenby was a terrible Bond and some parts of the story were blah to me. I still feel the same about the latter, but watching it again made me realize that George wasn’t as bad as I first thought, although still the worst Bond there’s been.
Of course, I decided to watch this last night after hearing the announcement of the new Bond movie, coming out a year from now. It’ll be known as Skyfall, and the cast is rather nice, and it’s got to be better than Quantum of Solace. Once I eventually get to that one… I doubt I’ll have too many nice things to say about it. I haven’t seen it in three years now, but I’m still sure I’ll strongly dislike it. Oh, what a massive disappointment that was.
But onto this one… we all know the story now about how Lazenby was chosen for this huge role and he was a dumbass so he only did this one movie as he thought much more of his talents than everyone else did (although there were apparently other reasons why he only was Bond once). He wasn’t as bad as I first thought, but he’s no Moore or Dalton, let alone Connery. Maybe I’m being harsh as this was his first acting role, period. Still…
The story revolves around Blofeld (Savalas) once again, this time threatening germ warfare… not for cash, though, but for more practical reasons. That’s really all you need to know, aside from the fact that while you see some action in Portugal (including a bullfight, but it’s really tame compared to how bloody those things end up) much of it is set in Switzerland, which provides some great scenery. Oh, and Bond ends up falling in love with a young woman named Tracy, who he ends up marrying. As this was the only movie she appeared in… well, need I say more about her fate? It did lead to a memorable finale.
Me, viewing it again I say that despite a choppy and oddly edited at times first hour and some odd moments in the story (you can tell there were production problems) the movie still is rather entertaining despite its faults. The scenery is great, the score is memorable, there are some sweet action scenes, and the fighting stuff is filmed in a way that really is ahead of its time. You know, quick cutting and all that. It almost becomes something that I would dislike but it ends up being fine. It’s no Michael Bay or Paul Greengrass; the camera never shakes as if the operator is experiencing a seizure. It’s just quick cut, that’s all. It’s also definitely not like how incomprehensible much of the action in Quantum of Solace turns out. Really, I hope Skyfall doesn’t end up quite as serious as the first two Craig Bond flicks have been and there’s at least a little more humor added. You know, Q and Moneypenny and the goofy charm that you expect from most 007 motion pictures.
What was I saying… oh yeah, the movie was better on second viewing. I can’t really compare it to the other movies in the series as I prefer to rate things by the actor who plays the role. It’s just easier to do it that way, I say. There’s definitely other movies in the entire franchise I prefer to this, I’ll put it that way; it’s not at the bottom of the giant list either. It does depend on what you think of Lazenby. If you don’t dislike him, then you’ll be able to enjoy a fine story which is mostly grounded in realism and isn’t quite so fantastical.
I’ll be back Tuesday night, and I’ll be reviewing another 007 movie I’m not quite looking forward to revisiting, Diamonds are Forever.
Runtime: 140 minutes
Directed by: Peter Hunt (please, don't giggle)
Starring: George Lazenby, Diana Rigg, Telly Savalas, Gabriele Ferzetti
From: UA
Oh boy, here’s a movie I was actually hesitant to revisit, thus why I haven’t reviewed a Bond movie in order in so damn long. I didn’t really care for it the first time around, as I thought Lazenby was a terrible Bond and some parts of the story were blah to me. I still feel the same about the latter, but watching it again made me realize that George wasn’t as bad as I first thought, although still the worst Bond there’s been.
Of course, I decided to watch this last night after hearing the announcement of the new Bond movie, coming out a year from now. It’ll be known as Skyfall, and the cast is rather nice, and it’s got to be better than Quantum of Solace. Once I eventually get to that one… I doubt I’ll have too many nice things to say about it. I haven’t seen it in three years now, but I’m still sure I’ll strongly dislike it. Oh, what a massive disappointment that was.
But onto this one… we all know the story now about how Lazenby was chosen for this huge role and he was a dumbass so he only did this one movie as he thought much more of his talents than everyone else did (although there were apparently other reasons why he only was Bond once). He wasn’t as bad as I first thought, but he’s no Moore or Dalton, let alone Connery. Maybe I’m being harsh as this was his first acting role, period. Still…
The story revolves around Blofeld (Savalas) once again, this time threatening germ warfare… not for cash, though, but for more practical reasons. That’s really all you need to know, aside from the fact that while you see some action in Portugal (including a bullfight, but it’s really tame compared to how bloody those things end up) much of it is set in Switzerland, which provides some great scenery. Oh, and Bond ends up falling in love with a young woman named Tracy, who he ends up marrying. As this was the only movie she appeared in… well, need I say more about her fate? It did lead to a memorable finale.
Me, viewing it again I say that despite a choppy and oddly edited at times first hour and some odd moments in the story (you can tell there were production problems) the movie still is rather entertaining despite its faults. The scenery is great, the score is memorable, there are some sweet action scenes, and the fighting stuff is filmed in a way that really is ahead of its time. You know, quick cutting and all that. It almost becomes something that I would dislike but it ends up being fine. It’s no Michael Bay or Paul Greengrass; the camera never shakes as if the operator is experiencing a seizure. It’s just quick cut, that’s all. It’s also definitely not like how incomprehensible much of the action in Quantum of Solace turns out. Really, I hope Skyfall doesn’t end up quite as serious as the first two Craig Bond flicks have been and there’s at least a little more humor added. You know, Q and Moneypenny and the goofy charm that you expect from most 007 motion pictures.
What was I saying… oh yeah, the movie was better on second viewing. I can’t really compare it to the other movies in the series as I prefer to rate things by the actor who plays the role. It’s just easier to do it that way, I say. There’s definitely other movies in the entire franchise I prefer to this, I’ll put it that way; it’s not at the bottom of the giant list either. It does depend on what you think of Lazenby. If you don’t dislike him, then you’ll be able to enjoy a fine story which is mostly grounded in realism and isn’t quite so fantastical.
I’ll be back Tuesday night, and I’ll be reviewing another 007 movie I’m not quite looking forward to revisiting, Diamonds are Forever.
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